05 Jan
Why Do Women Get So Angry Every Time They Bleed?

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

why do women get so angry every time they bleed? …if i cut myself shaving, i don’t fly into a rage, push massive bars of chocolate into my mouth and moan about how fat my arse is.

Signed,

Thomas

__________________

Dear Thomas,

Wow, thank you for taking time out of your busy day at Charm School to send in your question, Thomas! We know it’s really hard for a distinguished gentleman like yourself to find a computer, much less figure out how to spell words and use punctuation without the help of a correctional facility volunteer, so please know that we here at The Mouthy Housewives deeply appreciate your efforts. Now, on to your question!

Asking why women get so “angry” every time they “bleed” when you, a man, are able to easily handle a shaving cut tells me right off that you’re an expert in biology. Sweet AND smart! Hubba hubba! But honestly, not many people realize that a woman’s reproductive system works exactly like a man’s cheek, so kudos to you, sir. You are obviously a life-long subscriber to The New England Journal of Medicine and we bow to your amazing medical expertise.

Now, regarding why we women push massive bars of chocolate into our mouths and moan about how fat our arses are whenever we bleed—well, the answer is very simple, Thomas: we’re f&*#ing idiots. We’re weak, powerless and completely inferior in every way to you and your ilk. But come on, you already knew that, didn’t you? You were just using your dumbass, backwards question to flirt with us via the chickenshit anonymity of the internet, weren’t you? You SCAMP! You cheeky monkey! LOL.

Anyway, it’s been nice chatting with you, Thomas, but we’ll let you go because we know you’re a very busy, important man and you probably have tons more research to do on behalf of the International Women Haterz Club. But if you have any other thoughtful, intelligent questions about females, please be sure to let us know and we’ll answer them right away.

Well, unless we’re “bleeding,” of course. Then you can just go ahead and f*&k yourself.

Cheers!

Wendi, TMH

 

 

 

42 Responses to “Why Do Women Get So Angry Every Time They Bleed?”

01.05.12#1

Comment by Abby.

Why does every man think all women use chocolate to end their suffering? I can barely eat a little piece of a chocolate bar without feeling sick-I just can’t eat huge hunks of chocolate at once! It’s not all of us, Thomas. And Wendi-you are hilarious.

01.05.12#2

Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

Hahahahahaha Wendi!!! Fantastic!!!! 😀

P.S.: Thomas, wait till we stop bleeding! 😀

Desperate Dietwives Reply:

(I meant menopause 😉 )

01.05.12#3

Comment by Avptobeauty.

THE best Wendi! Not that I need to add anything but it’s been suggested that during menstruation women’s brains actually expand in their skulls causing irritability and aggression not to mention all our whacky hormones acting up giving what is commonly known as, you guessed it, PMS. On another note I love how our counterparts think this has anything to do with our personalities, imagine how they would feel if they bled every month AND had crazy moods because of whacky hormones! Sheesh talk about Uncompassionate!

Plano Mom Reply:

Men do have mood swings because of hormones. They just don’t recognize it, which makes them even worse.

Karin W Reply:

They aren’t as regular either which compounds “worse”

01.05.12#4

Comment by bitsy.

GO WENDI GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Girl, you rock.

01.05.12#5

Comment by muffintopmommy.

Thomas’ mama must be proud! He must have been doing bong hits during health class. You might have to ‘splain the birds and the bees to him too.

01.05.12#6

Comment by stanman.

As a guy, reading this letter made me cringe. Painfully so. But great answer, Wendi. You do indeed rock. I doubt he got the message, though.

Marie Reply:

Stanman, you are the man. I love the way you think. You are proof that not all men are stupid.

01.05.12#7

Comment by Plano Mom.

Poor man, he must be suffering from low testosterone, to be so irritable. Cut him some slack girls, he’s becoming impotent.

Desperate Dietwives Reply:

Or give him some chocolate. 😀

Tiffany Reply:

Becoming? I suspect this guy is already there.

01.05.12#8

Comment by annie.

Well since i no longer have my girly parts – and therefore no longer “bleed” – I can only assume I’m angry because you’re an a$$hole Thomas.

Plano Mom Reply:

He can’t help it, he was born that way.

Carla Reply:

Buahahaha!

01.05.12#9

Comment by ThrillKill.

Yeah… sometimes it’s best to just hope that the a$$hole in front of you IS actually a troll and that no one can be that stupid. I hope. Really, really hope.

And please, wonderful female counterparts, not all of us act like this boorish moron re: your monthly body reset phase. Just because we have penises doesn’t mean we’re all dicks.

01.05.12#10

Comment by hokgardner.

This has to have been from the guy who leaves comments on blogs about boycotting American women. It has to be.

01.05.12#11

Comment by Liz@PeaceLoveGuac.

Boom!
You nailed it, Wendi.

01.05.12#12

Comment by Ninja Mom.

My wish for Thomas is that he is forced to spend lots and lots of time with menstruating teenagers, for research purposes. Only then will he really understand PMS and its devastating effects on lobotomized shitbirds. Hint: you’re the SHITBIRD, Tommy.

01.05.12#13

Comment by mtwildflower.

You ladies are really unkind.

It’s obvious that “Thomas” is a confused transgender wannabe who is doing his best to identify with the gender he wants to be by cutting himself saving the beard he wishes he didn’t have…..or maybe it’s the beard she wishes she had ….. anyway….

A little compassion for “Thomas,” would probably go a long way. You know what they say about honey, girls…it makes a great facial (just a tip “Thomas” to help with those nasty cuts.)

01.05.12#14

Comment by Jillers.

Wow! This guy is the cream of the crop! If he is as smart as he thinks he is maybe he will realize that some guys attitudes about why we behave the way we do when we bleed are because of men’s opinions on this. Women are smart enough to turn it around and be able to use it as a good reason to let out all our aggessions every month and it is all just because of our biology.

I can just imagine if men had to go through the wonderful things that we do as women, and I don’t think I have ever heard any woman ever say, I love this time of the month!! Unless of course they are hoping that they didn’t get pregnant by any idiots named Thomas.

Even though I have had the “surgery” so I don’t get my periods any more…wahhh…I always used to tell my husband that men seem to be on a testosterone type of cycle every day of the year. Anyway all in good fun, I am glad that Thomas was curious enough to ask the experts and bleeding or not he is going to get his answer! LOL

01.05.12#15

Comment by Angie Uncovered.

In order to help people like Thomas, I have chosen to adopt my PMS personality as my daily personality. Gone are the days when I would catch a sideways glance from people thinking, “Wow, someone’s on the rag.” No, these days they simply think, “WHAT A BITCH!”

I had tried Midol and various other homeopathic remedies to alleviate my aggression and anger, but I’ve found that adopting “bitchy fat arsed chocolate eater” as my constant exterior ID has been better for everyone.

01.05.12#16

Comment by StephanieG.

Thanks to the miracle of Novasure ablation, it’s been awhile since I had to bleed. But thanks to the miracle of keeping my uterus and ovaries and their corresponding hormones, I can still get mad as hell about every four weeks. And lucky for you, this is the week.

Thomas, you’re an idiot. If you’ve never dealt with an emergency “bleed” situation or lived with the constant demand of a weeklong personal hygiene crisis, you have no right to question why any of us do anything.

Have you ever had cramps so bad you thought you were going to give birth? Have you ever been mortified in junior high because of the monthly bleed? Have you ever had to leave a business meeting because you were afraid of an accident? Have you ever had to walk across a high school classroom with a tampon crammed in your pocket, hoping no one would know? Have you ever had to schedule activites such as horseback riding, gymnastics, or swimming in a white swim suit around your monthly visitor?

I don’t think you have, A$$hat, or you wouldn’t have asked such a ridiculous question. As women, we deal with these same issues every damn month, for more than 30 years. Seems a bit more extreme than just a tiny cut on a cheek from shaving.

You’re probably just bitter because you can’t get a woman. And why would you if you’re such an insensitive pr!ck?

Now where did I put that Midol??

01.05.12#17

Comment by Alexandra.

Oh, man, just when you thought they couldn’t get any more Neanderthal.

HOLY WOW.

Idiot, idiot, and idiot once more.

He should get on his knees and kiss the ground of any woman who even LETS him within 5 feet of her.

Most excellent job, Wendi…you’re one of the best as it is, but this one…this one solid gold.

Marie Reply:

RIGHT ON!

01.05.12#18

Comment by rojopaul.

I love that you tell him to go “F” himself and then throw in Cheers! ha ha ha And Stephanie G. summed it up nicely. Trying walking in our shoes and then see. The reason women bleed is cuz men are babies and could never handle it!

01.05.12#19

Comment by Becky.

I just don’t understand why Thomas gets access to a computer in solitary. Hopefully his boyfriend doesn’t “bleed” too often.

01.05.12#20

Comment by Marie.

You all have my laughing hysterically with your comments. I love reading this blog and the contributers.

Now, if I could have a word with Thomas.

Dear Thomas,
You act as though having a period (in case you aren’t sure, I’m referring to when we “bleed”) is comparable to shaving our legs. Let’s get a few sterotypes straight:

1. Not all women “shove” chocolate into their mouths when Mother Nature does her job (i.e. in terms you’ll understand, bleed). I for one, crave a porterhouse. Medium rare, please.

2. You try having a vice grip on your lower abdomen (abdomen is another word for stomach – it means your tummy) for a day or two and see if you get angry.

3. How would you feel if you bled out of your penis every month? Not so great, I’m assuming. But you probably don’t wash your hands after you pee, so I’m sure you’re used to that “not so fresh” feeling.

4. Our rage has nothing to do with the fact that we have our periods (again, that means bleed from our private parts), it’s due to the fact that men like you exist.

Sincerely,
The Women Who Will Kick Your Ass if You Piss Me Off When I Bleed

Diana Reply:

I wuv you.

Marie Reply:

LOL, Diana. Back at ya!

01.05.12#21

Comment by Marie.

Boy, this guy’s a real winner, eh? I’ll bet his next question will be “Why are women allowed to vote? They can’t possibly be intelligent enough to understand politics!”

What a douche.

01.05.12#22

Comment by nandini.

PMS has been described as the days of the month that women get to act like men act the rest of the month.

Also, I read that if men bled every month the species would have gone the way of the dinasours.

Marie Reply:

LOL, I’m laughing out loud, Nanadini. HILARIOUS!

01.05.12#23

Comment by Diana.

The bees in my head head say “cut off his pee-pee right now!”

Momof4Luds Reply:

Oh, I feel you, girl!!

01.05.12#24

Comment by Jenee.

I always say that men should have to bleed out of their assholes at least once a year.

This post pretty much sealed it for me!

01.06.12#25

Comment by BrittanyandTahn.

Wendi? It’s official. You’re my fav.

01.06.12#26

Comment by elecat.

lol! Thankyou, that was entertaining… I’m hoping that this was Thomas’s idea of a joke. 🙂

01.06.12#27

Comment by Plano Mom.

I’m reading these comments again, just for a good laugh. And I remember now my mother once ranting that the world would be a far more compassionate place if once a month men got a nasty, week-long case of diarrhea.

01.06.12#28

Comment by Annie.

Wendi – You CRACK ME UP!!! I think this is your best work yet!! Lol!!! Awesome response. Love it!!

01.10.12#29

Comment by Wendy H..

Once again, I am humbled by the genius that is Wendi!

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