16 Jun
The More Mouthy Housewives, The Merrier!

A few weeks ago, Kelcey, Marinka and I were flying back from Bali on our Mouthy Housewives Gulfstream V. We were all a little sleepy from our two weeks of   jet skiing and partying with Jay-Z,   so we happily snuggled in our cashmere blankies and tried to rest. Then all of a sudden, Kelcey sat up and smashed her champagne flute on the floor. “There needs to be more of us!” she proclaimed. “We must take on more wives!”

“Hear, hear!” Marinka answered, pulling her black satin sleep mask off her eyes. “More wives!”

“But, but,” I protested, “The three of us are already Barb, Nikki and Margene! And you KNOW the Eastern European pie waitress didn’t work out! That’s crazy talk, Boo!”

“Please stop using Big Love references, Wendi,” Kelcey snipped. “Not all of us have HBO. Some of us only watch nature documentaries and teenage vampire shows.”

Then Marinka rubbed her chin and squinted. “But if we had more wives, we wouldn’t have to vacuum the TMH clubhouse so often. Or clean out our TMH horse stables. And that’d give the three of us a lot more time to manage our overseas assets.”

“And design purses for our QVC collection!” Kelcey added.

“So, it’s decided!” I declared. “I’ll inform our legal counsel. Now, how shall we choose our new wives? Reality competition show? Lottery? Mixed martial arts fighting tournament to the death? How?”

“Well, why don’t we just ask our two favorite smart, funny writers?” answered Marinka. “And you both know who I’m talking about.”

Then all three of us threw off our blankies, raised our champagne flutes up high and yelled, “Kristine and Tonya! Welcome to the Mouthy Housewives!”

Please join us in welcoming our newest additions, Kristine and Tonya! We are incredibly thrilled to have them as we’re all huge fans of their humor and their wonderful writing. They’re both super cool people who will be slinging out advice that will change your freakin’ LIFE, baby. (Or at least make you laugh your ass off.)   You’ll get to know them soon enough, but here are their brief intros:

Kristine is a wife, mother of two young boys, and New York transplant in Texas. She spends her days researching a cure for the female mustache and creating palatable alternatives to grating kid-friendly phrases like “inside voice.” Kristine is also quite fond of the smell of Windex.   She blogs at Wait in the Van.

Tonya Vernooy eschews real food for anything that can be easily mixed with yogurt (and yes, that also means cookies). She prefers to hang out on the Interweb, while in Brooklyn, her son, husband and cat all wait patiently for her to make something edible (fat chance). You can also find her hanging out at AdHocMom.com.

See? Funny! We know funny! So get ready for even more great advice and humor around this joint with our new wives on board. Oh, man. It’s going to be so much fun.

 


18 Responses to “The More Mouthy Housewives, The Merrier!”

06.16.11#1

Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

Hey gals, welcome in the team! 😀

06.16.11#2

Comment by dusty earth mother.

Congrats, new Mouthies!

06.16.11#3

Comment by Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him.

I love them both. Really wonderful additions. And tough love will abound since Tonya knows how to use a gun and Kristine can now probably pick one up at the grocery store.

06.16.11#4

Comment by Coastal Chick.

Excellent choice – more funny is always a good thing!

06.16.11#5

Comment by HerMelness Speaks.

Brilliant! If you ever want a funny Foreign Correspondent, let me know. He sleeps in his Sister’s kitchen chair most of the time while blasting out fart songs in his sleep and I think he’s Russian. That’s the funny part.

06.16.11#6

Comment by StephanieG.

The Lone Star State represents again! Yay!

I’m so excited to have both of these ladies as Mouthy Housewives. Their guest posts are always terrific, and I can’t wait to read more from them….

06.16.11#7

Comment by Lady Jennie.

Cool! Welcome to the new additions. And I would totally have something funny to add but … I didn’t get any of the references.

06.16.11#8

Comment by Jules.

Yay! *I also LOVE the Big Love references!*

06.16.11#9

Comment by Kristine.

Thanks for the warm welcome! I promise to keep all my references limited to shows typically seen on Nick Jr.

06.16.11#10

Comment by Igigjhiehg’ij.

[…] Huge news at The Mouthy Housewives today! Check it […]

06.16.11#11

Comment by Christy.

Welcome Ladies! Don’t forget that we love a good dose of sarcasm with our funny………

06.16.11#12

Comment by The Mommy Therapy.

Two very solid choices!

Congrats Tonya and Kristine!

06.16.11#13

Comment by Padded Cell Princess.

I love reading The Mouthy Housewives and these two will make a great addition! I don’t have kids yet but it’s women like you that make me gladly keep up the birth control! My husband and I thank you for that!

06.16.11#14

Comment by Tonya.

I’m so excited! And I feel so honored!! Usually people aren’t drunk enough to ask for my advice!

06.16.11#15

Comment by Paula/adhocmom.

You’ve chosen well! I’ve used her advice both sober and drunk and it’s served me well!

06.16.11#16

Comment by Yuliya.

Congratulations! Maybe I could get a job as the chamber maid?

06.16.11#17

Comment by N and Em's mom.

More funny is always appreciated!

06.22.11#18

Comment by Alexandra.

VERY VERY VERY funny women.

This is gonna be so good, for everyone.

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