06 Oct
The Case of the Random Cat Food

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

A mystery is afoot in my home. Last weekend, I went in to do my 8th load of laundry for the day and found a 25 pound bag of cat food in my utility room. I had to step over it to get to the washer and dryer. No one in my house knows anything about it. Not even the cat. My only clue is that it is Kirkland cat food (Costco house brand). Now I WAS at Costco last week and my brain is not what it used to be – after 4 kids, chemo, and now early-onset-menopause, but I think I would have REMEMBERED buying a bag of cat food that weighs as much as my 3-yr-old. Please help me solve this mystery!

Signed,

Perplexed in Texas

________________________

Dear Perplexed in Texas,

Boy, have you come to the right place, because if the Mouthy Housewives are good at anything, it’s solving mysteries. Like last week when we cracked “The Case of Mommy’s Missing Youth and Beauty.” (The kids did it.) Or the week before when we tackled “The Case of the Nasty, Dirty Socks.” (The husband did it.) And last night we successfully investigated “The Case of the Missing Jug of Wine.” (The drunk blonde found passed out in her closet with Halloween candy smeared all over her face did it.) (Again.)

Now on to “The Case of the Random Cat Food.” Using my superior sleuthing skills, I’ve put together this list of potential suspects:

Suspect #1: Your husband. He may be pulling a “Gaslight” on you and is trying to make you think you’re going crazy. However, most husbands actually don’t want their wives locked up in a padded room because then there’s nobody home to do the laundry. Innocent.

Suspect #2: Your kids. See above, only substitute “do the laundry” for “cook the meals.” Innocent.

Suspect #3: Your weird neighbor with the Garfield tattoo who calls himself “The Friskies Fairy” and who has already been arrested twice for leaving fluffy cat toys in random strangers’ homes. But, come on, this guy is way too obvious. Innocent.

Suspect #4: The cat.   This one makes the most sense, however per Texas law, most housecats can’t get memberships to Costco without two forms of ID. Innocent.

Suspect #5: You. Between the laundry, the babies, and the chemo, it’s highly probable that your memory has taken an understandable hit lately. Guilty.

Sorry to finger you as the culprit, but in all likelihood, it was you who went to Costco, bought the cat food and plunked it down in the laundry room. Only because of everything else you’re doing, you just don’t remember any of it. (Which isn’t such a bad thing, really. I mean, who wants to remember trips to the pet food aisle, anyway?) However, if you’re concerned about this forgetfulness, talk to your doctor. You can also check out the memory tips I found here.

I hope this solves your mystery. And maybe the next time something mysterious appears in your laundry room, you should make sure it’s in a silver shopping bag from Nordstrom.

Sincerely,

Wendi, TMH

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5 Responses to “The Case of the Random Cat Food”

10.06.09#1

Comment by hokgardner.

I accuse my husband of gaslighting me on a regular basis. He’s started putting cameras everywhere to record our activities so that he can prove his innocence when I set my coffee cup in the bookshelf and then wander the house accusing him of hiding it just to drive me insane.

10.06.09#2

Comment by The Good Cook.

Excellent detective work. I had her figured the whole time too. I mean a couple of kids alone are enough to make us half crazy. Add anything else to the mix and it’s well – you know…

10.06.09#3

Comment by HellTygr.

Remember: Costco is a vortex of brain manipulation in and of itself. When researching the mystery cat food, first just be grateful you actually *have* a cat!

10.06.09#4

Comment by Amber in Albuquerque.

I know the memory isn’t what it used to be, but maybe the receipt is still around? (I’m kind of OCD, so I hang onto receipts for anything I charge, and I usually charge the Costco bill.) If the receipt can be found, at least you could verify that you did indeed BUY the cat food (or not)…maybe someone else brought it in and plunked it down. I put everything where it belongs (did I mention the OCD?), but if the husband or kids ‘helped’ unload, stuff usually gets dropped randomly outside the car.

And really, if random 25-pound bags of stuff are going to show up in the house, why isn’t it ever M&Ms???

10.09.09#5

Comment by bella.

Just be glad you forgot you purchased something needed instead of the more typical not remembering to buy TP and then forgetting where you parked the car!

Chemo brain is real- join a support group and ask a friend to come over and do some laundry for you.

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