07 Mar
She Stole My Sweater

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I ordered a SUPER cute cashmere cardigan from the Gap Online because I had a giftcard. With all the after the holidays sales, it was the last one. Tracking info says it was delivered 5 days ago. Huh? Didn’t get it. Contacted local post office. Guess what, carrier remembers delivering it to the neighbor by mistake. Sounds like problem solved, right? Wrong. Neighbor denies receiving sweater. You would now be thinking, sound like a mistake somewhere, right? That is what was thinking until I saw said bitch, I mean neighbor lady… leaving her house in my new cashmere cardigan. No history with this bitch, other than a little judgment on my part for her McCain signs. I don’t know her at all.

Signed,

Cardiganless
______________________________________

Dear Cardiganless,

If there is one thing I’ve learned from watching Law & Order it’s that Chris Noth is not aging well. And also, that sometimes things aren’t what they seem. So although you’re sure that this neighbor is now wearing your cardigan, I implore you not to take matters into your own Charles Bronson hands and confront her. Nor should you sulk around her front door waiting to intercept her packages in retaliation.

Contact Gap Online instead. Tell them what the mail carrier told you and what the neighbor reported. Ask them for guidance and wisdom and solace. Of course they won’t be able to replace the cardigan if it was really the last one, but they may be able to credit your account.

As for your neighbor, you’ll know what to do when she comes knocking for a cup of sugar. Keep that salt shaker handy.

Sorry for your loss,

Marinka, TMH

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27 Responses to “She Stole My Sweater”

03.07.11#1

Comment by Wendi.

I don’t think I could keep quiet on this. I’d knock on the door & say, “Gap says they delivered my package here by accident. Do you know anything about that because I can’t figure out what happened.”

Then I’d kick the shit out of her garden gnomes.

ERIN I'M GONNA KILL HIM Reply:

That advice was way too straight for Wendi until I got to the garden gnome gang bang. That rectified all.

marathonmom Reply:

I am with Wendi.

03.07.11#2

Comment by Bean.

Technically, it’s mail fraud/theft, which is a federal offense. you can also report it to the post office inspection service.

03.07.11#3

Comment by dusty earth mother.

Wow. Seriously? You saw her in the sweater? That is truly pathetic. I think I would have to just face her and say “Come on. Really?” I’m all about shame.

03.07.11#4

Comment by Steph.

Did the mail carrier have the recipient sign for it?

03.07.11#5

Comment by Lynn MacDonald.

Hahaha…I agree, Chris Noth is not aging well at all and honestly, aging well is the best revenge.

Really? It doesn’t sound like a pretty sweater anyways…but yeah, call The Gap and decline the charge on your credit card.

03.07.11#6

Comment by angelica.

I would go to the neighbour very worried, and say that you think GAP is trying to steal from you and that you are considering reporting it to the authorities as mail theft and just wanted to let her know in case she got any calls…..

petty, but this sort of thing drives me mad

Desperate Dietwives Reply:

This is great advice!!! 😀
Just add the Fed Crime bit as well, and you’ll have your cardigan back in no time!

03.07.11#7

Comment by hokgardner.

I like Wendi’s advice the best, and I’ll be sure never to mess with her mail. I don’t have any garden gnomes, and I’m afraid she’d kick one of my kids by mistake.

03.07.11#8

Comment by Becky.

I think Wendi is suffering a little post-Gnomeo & Juliette trauma with her suggestion.

03.07.11#9

Comment by Nicolini.

This makes me mad for you. Firstly, I would ask the mail carrier to approach the neighbor with you and while he/she is with you point out to the bitch that mail fraud is a Federal offense. Secondly, I would print out my receipt from the Gap (I think they have pictures on them), and the next time you see that broad in your sweater March over there with your camera and take her picture and show her the striking similarities. Then remind her that the theft of your sweater was a federal offense. I’m pretty sure you shall remain cardiganless, but hopefully she’ll be ashamed and embarrassed. That or she’ll think you’re insane.

marathonmom Reply:

AWeSOME advice!

03.07.11#10

Comment by Nona.

The problem goes deeper than just the loss of your sweater. You now know you live next door to a lying, thieving bitch, and calling her out on it could open a whole big can of nasty. She voted for McCain/Palin, for crying out loud. Who knows what else the crazy ho is capable of doing?

I’d follow Marinka’s advice and see if I could get credit from the Gap. And then I would have packages delivered to another address (your office or your husband’s, a trusted friend) in the future.

I would also tell the postal carrier so he/she will know to watch out for this felon.

03.07.11#11

Comment by Cheryl.

You have no idea if the neighbor has your incredible taste in CUTE sweaters. Could be she ordered one of her own.

Gotta go with Marinka on this (and, my heart bleeds that Noth is aging so poorly). Get all your money back. And a million $$ for pain and suffering.

03.07.11#12

Comment by kelcey, TMH.

I have to disagree with Marinka on this one b/c I think Christopher Noth looks pretty good.

03.07.11#13

Comment by Plano Mom.

1) If the carrier left it with the neighbor, and didn’t get proof, the carrier is responsible.
2) If the carrier is not responsible because GAP didn’t insure it for the proper amount, then GAP is responsible.
3) Either way, yeah, it’s fraud if she did it. But you can’t prove it. Go through the proper channels to get the bitch, and more importantly, be satisfied with getting your money back.

03.07.11#14

Comment by Lessons in Life and Light.

I recently ordered something online (to the tune of $300) but it never came. The post office swore they delivered it and because of that, I was out of luck. After I contacted the company I ordered from INSISTING I never received my item, they finally reimbursed me. (It took a couple of months, mind you.)

Maybe since YOU didn’t ever receive the shipment, the GAP will refund you or send you a new sweater.

In the meantime, I see heaps of flaming dog poo on your neighbor’s doorstep 😉

03.07.11#15

Comment by ERIN I'M GONNA KILL HIM.

This pisses me off, but because I lived in New Jersey for awhile where people where shot at close range by a fellow driver who hoisted a cross bow out of his trunk, I agree with M that you can’t square off in person. Not safe if it gets heated.

Unless that cashmere is bullet proof.

Hire a fraternity boy to sneak in and steal it back. They do this stuff for hire all the time.

03.07.11#16

Comment by Alexandra.

I’d drop a note telling her 1. the guy says he delivered it to her and 2. i saw her wear it and 3. give it to me now or I file a report with the cops.

03.07.11#17

Comment by vodka tonic.

It’s possible she ordered the same sweater. It’s the GAP, for cryin’ out loud, not some sort of handmade original.

I also think the Gap delivers via UPS, not USPS. Are you sure you and the mail carrier are talking about the same package?

It’s also possible she received your package, it got opened without really looking at the address, and she thought it was a gift. I know that I’ve received packages from retail stores that don’t have the buyer’s information on it, then I call around to my family and try to figure out who sent it.

Or it’s possible she stole your sweater. But before you march over there and make a stink, you might want to consider a reasonable explanation that doesn’t involve a felony.

03.07.11#18

Comment by BombShelle.

That sweater thief might have a run in with some cranberry juice cocktail in my neighborhood.Of course you have kids and kids are evil…..sick em!

03.07.11#19

Comment by BombShelle.

You could also walk over and hand her a bill for the cost of the sweate. Tell her, “It wasn’t a gift for you, it was a gift for me! You owe me X amount of money.Pay up sucka!”

03.07.11#20

Comment by thepsychobabble.

ack. hovering ads!

That aside, call Gap. Call the shipper again. And say, “Look, my neighbor swears she didn’t get this package that YOU/your shipping service swears was delivered to the wrong address. What can we do to fix this?”

03.07.11#21

Comment by Kimberly.

Thanks for all the advice! Actually, Gap was great and refunded my money as soon as I told them USPS delivered it to the wrong house, but the neighbor says she doesn’t have it. Actually, it’s not the money I’m worried about, it was a REALLY cute tunic length, charcoal, drape front, cardigan sweater – for $50 (originally $149) and I was looking forward to it. I’m new in the hood and moved to my new husband’s house, and have already had a run-in with another neighbor over whether or not 25 mph is too fast to drive on our street, so I’m trying to lay low. My husband went over and asked her where she got the sweater, and she got pissed and told him to leave (this is after USPS has confronted her). So – I’m going to let karma have a crack at her.

amy Reply:

Glad to hear your $$ was refunded, score 1 for the Gap! As for your neighbor.. Yeah Karma. I hear she can be a real BITCH 🙂

03.11.11#22

Comment by Mel.

Marinka, After a crappy week, you gave me a good laugh. Thanks. And just for the record, I would never have the nerve to confront her, but then again, I’ve lived in my neighborhood for four years and I still haven’t even seen some of my neighbors. Steal from me, they’d have to come out of their homes first.

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