04 May
“My Day with Oprah” By Watson the Dog

As you all know, every dog has his AHA! moment. Or maybe you didn’t. But let us assure you that we Mouthy Housewives are canine experts, so when we stumbled across this picture on Oprah’s Twitter feed

…we knew exactly what that dog was thinking.  That’s Watson the dog, by the way. Along with Neil Patrick Harris, David Burtka and Oprah.

And because the Mouthy Housewives have been petelaphatically trained, we can now share with you some of the things that Watson is thinking while being groped:

— OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. NOW EVERYONE CAN SEE MY DOOGIE HOWSER.

— If only David Burtka would move his hand just a little bit North. That would make Watson a very happy puppy.

— Gayle LOVES it when Stedman and I hold her like this, too!

–Put me down!  Rephrase! Rephrase! Lower me, please!

— I’m so writing “Doggie Dearest”!

— Will they at least stop calling me ‘Nate Barkus’?

— Why do Oprah’s boobs smell like tacos?

–Lassie, get help! Gail Collins should do nicely!

You’re so lucky, they said.  Everyone wishes a celebrity couple would take them. What–ever.

–Suddenly they’re all Robert Evans: “The Dog Stays in the Picture!”

— How I Met Your Mot- Oprah

— YOU get a doggy porn shot! YOU get a doggy porn shot! YOU get a doggy porn shot!

— SHE HAS ME IN A CHOKE HOLD. THIS IS HOW SHE CUDDLES.

–White pants, Oprah? Did I miss Memorial Day?

— I better make it to this month’s Oprah’s Favorite Things list!

— For the love of God, stop calling me Dr. Oz, lady. I WILL NOT GIVE YOU A PAP SMEAR.

— And to think I almost wore my yellow cardigan sweater. That would have been incredibly embarrassing!

— If this doesn’t boost OWN, I don’t know what will.

— Neil Patrick Harris? More like Neil Patrick HARASS.

— Now I know why Rosie hated this job.

— For the last freaking time, I am not an Emmy.

— Now do you know where my issues come from, Dr. Phil? Huh? DO YOU?

— I bet even Mitt Romney wouldn’t do this crap to his dog.

— Bo Obama is going to see this, Oprah, AND THEN YOU’LL HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO.

—  This is why we don’t let Oprah have tequila with lunch.

— Stedman! Quit hiding behind that camera and hold my rear end like a man!

–Girl, if my puppy chow isn’t laced with Xanax after this humiliation, someone’s getting their wig chewed.

3 Responses to ““My Day with Oprah” By Watson the Dog”

05.04.12#1

Comment by Alexandra.

Of all the bwaaahahahaha up there, this one wins for the loudest crack up: petelaphatically.

That was so good I had to read it and say t three times so I can find a way to use it today without tripping over it.

Pure genius.

05.04.12#2

Comment by Anne-Marie @ Do Not Faint.

I just laughed so hard I woke the baby! It’s ok, she went back to sleep. I should know better than to think I can laugh quietly while reading this site!

05.04.12#3

Comment by Anne (@notasupermom).

Now I want tacos. Is that weird?

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