09 Jul
I Think I Should Dump My Boyfriend, But I Dunno…

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I have been in a relationship for 5 months now. I am starting to feel like I have emotionally invested more time than he has… calling more, texting more etc..  Sometimes he calls and sometimes he tends to ignore me. We have talked about it and he said he will do better, but I feel nothing has changed. Should I dump his ass by ignoring his calls or should I tell him via text message since that’s how he likes to to communicate. Every time I try to talk to him in person we end up having sex instead. Any suggestions?

Also, he seems controlling.  For example, he told me that if I eat a piece of bacon that he won’t kiss me. So I did what I wanted, ate my bacon and we did not kiss. He does not like the TV shows I watch and always ask for the remote control so he can change the station.

And refuses to call me when he spends time with his 3 year son because, as he puts it, he doesn’t “see him that often as it is.” He recently put the mother of his son out about 2 weeks ago, and promised me he would do more for me. But as of yet I see nothing different happening. Any thoughts?

Signed,

Magic 8 Ball Broken

________________________________

Dear Magic 8 Ball Broken,

You know, you really had me at first! As I read your question, I had some sassy internal dialogue going that was saying things like OH GIRL, he is REWARDING YOU to eat bacon? YOU GO ON, NOW. And even with the television thing, my husband always tries to finagle the channel back to ESPN…

…but, then again, HE IS NOT STILL LIVING WITH HIS BABY MOMMA.

Say what?

In situations like this, I like to keep the boyfriend advice simple: if you feel the need to ask the question, then you probably already know the answer. In other words, you wouldn’t be questioning your relationship if it were working well and meant to be. It’s the crappy, dysfunctional relationships that raise a flag, and for good reason.

(Click to enlarge.)

So, to answer your question: yes. In the immortal words of Dan Savage, dump the motherf***er already.

Lots of love,

Kristine, TMH

10 Responses to “I Think I Should Dump My Boyfriend, But I Dunno…”

07.09.12#1

Comment by wendi.

Word.

07.09.12#2

Comment by youneversawme.

My boyfriend’s the same way with the TV (all men are) & won’t kiss me when I smoke (understandable but still mean) lol. Rarely says I love you first & is far less affectionate & thoughtful.

I’ve broken up with him once & we found each other again shortly after.

The truth is the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it. If you truly love him, give him time & IF HE LOVES YOU BACK, he will get better.
I’ve made great strides with mine but there will always be work to do!
Coming from a divorced woman (unregrettably mind you) the answer is not always to leave unless nothing is changing, but again, it will not happen overnight & will not happen if he does not feel like you are worth his efforts.

On the issue with his son however, mine only gets his once a week & I give him his space. You will only drive him further away if you are not respectful of his role as a father. His son does deserve his undivided attention but over time you should be incorporated into the picture.

Hope I’ve helped!

07.09.12#3

Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

Just stop calling him, texting him and answering his texts and see how he reacts. If he doesn’t seem to notice, then he DIDN’T notice. Which means he’s already dumped you in his mind.

Cate8 Reply:

luv this ‘if he doesn’t seem to notice then he didn’t notice’ AMEN.

07.09.12#4

Comment by Sassyscrapper.

Dump him! This sounds way too one sided and he’s not making your life better, he’s making it worse! You deserve someone who appreciates YOU (and loves bacon <grin)! Why should you settle??? time to say "Bah-Bye"!!!

07.09.12#5

Comment by Plano Mom.

Have you ever noticed something about boys? If you ask them if they want something to eat, they’ll shrug and be noncommittal. But if you put food in front of them, they’ll scarf it down and beg for more. Same thing with relationships. Stop putting the food out. See if he’ll verbalize what he wants instead of accepting your generosity without commitment.

07.09.12#6

Comment by StephanieG.

Let me make sure I’ve got the facts here:
1) You’ve been dating a guy with a kid for five months, but he only dumped his baby mama 2 weeks ago?
2) You’re the one chasing him?
3) Seems like the relationship is light on communication but heavy on sex?
4) He won’t let you eat bacon?

I say drop his lousy butt based on #4 alone. I understand his need to spend time with his child, and as a parent, I respect that. But this kid is going to be around for the rest of your BF’s life, and if he is going to shut you out each time he has visitation, you are in for a long, lonely haul.

Pack his crap and leave it on his doorstep. Leave him a note and tell him it’s over. Change your phone number, and block him from your facebook page. He seems like just enough of a jerk that he’ll never try to contact you, but by you cutting the strings to him, you’ll never know if he tried to reach you or not.

Once you’ve cleaned out the garbage, I suggest you spend some quality time reminding yourself why you deserve more than a guy who treats you like crap and sleeps with you to shut you up. You deserve more. So much more.

07.10.12#7

Comment by Cate8.

He is/was not your boyfriend. You were his mistress. geesh. still living with his child’s mom???? HELLO!

07.12.12#8

Comment by Mexmom.

Dump him immediately!

07.27.12#9

Comment by Endersgrrl.

Omg, seriously? You’re just a booty call! He probably lied about kicking out the baby mama so he could keep f**king you when the baby mama doesn’t want to. And as Samantha said in Sex and the City, ‘He’s just not that into you’. If he was, he wouldn’t be treating you like sh*t.

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