31 Aug
Hey Bic, We Can Improve Your New Pen For Women!

Like most of you, The Mouthy Housewives have been applauding and celebrating Bic for recently introducing a pen just for women! Finally, we women can stop struggling with those pens made for Man Hands.

Kudos, Bic, for being a pioneer in the field of equal pen rights. It is because of your ingenuity that women can finally have pen equality. And we can only hope that this trend will continue. In fact, maybe consider changing the name. Because if someone says, “My Bic pen is-” it sounds like she’s saying “My big penis-” And that’s just not write.

But come on, Bic, think of ways that you can make your pen really for women. Freud may not have known what women want, but you certainly do.

Here, we’ll help you along.

1. A bronzer and lip gloss right in the cap for those times you need a touch up before your man comes home.

2. Use the pen to write your own prescriptions for Prozac because we all know ladies are constantly on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

3. In a bind, the pen can double as a tampon. (Discard after use, ladies!)

4. Has a built-in safety devices that causes it to stop working when a douche bag asks you to write down your number.

5. Smooth tip makes it easy to write your future married name over and over and over again.

6. Can be stuck behind ear to help give you that “smart” look.

7. Bubble dotting “i” and “j” is easier than ever!

8. Ink turns to blood when writing checks. Numbers are scary.

9. Budget balancing is more exciting with the vibrating tip!

Thank you, Bic. Thank you for all you’ve done for womenfolk. With your product in our hands, the future looks a lot brighter.

15 Responses to “Hey Bic, We Can Improve Your New Pen For Women!”

08.31.12#1

Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

Hilarous!!! 😀

08.31.12#2

Comment by If.

[…] developed the technology to come up with a pen for women? A step in the right direction, I say. But The Mouthy Housewives demand more! 0savesSave If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the […]

08.31.12#3

Comment by annie.

Um…does it vibrate??

08.31.12#4

Comment by Becky.

Vibrating tips? I’m in. Perhaps they can work out a special combo pack with Trojan.

08.31.12#5

Comment by Mexmom.

The safety device to stop working is a genius idea

08.31.12#6

Comment by dusty earth mother.

So, so funny.

08.31.12#7

Comment by Sans Pen..

Do these pens smell? Adding perfume to the ink would be the last straw.

I shall away to a monastery forthwith!

08.31.12#8

Comment by Erin@MommyontheSpot.

This is hilarious!

09.02.12#9

Comment by deborah l quinn.

Remember when Dell launched laptops for ladies? And Legos? I declare, there are so many options for lil’ ol’ me that it quite makes my fluffy head spin.
(Spin right around, like Linda Blair’s in “The Exorcist.”)

Leslie Reply:

nice one!!!!!!

09.03.12#10

Comment by The Bearded Iris.

Hilarious. You had me at “My Bic pen is.” And your list of features? Pure brilliance.

09.05.12#11

Comment by Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes.

The vibrating tip will really come in handy during those boring meetings…

09.06.12#12

Comment by rojopaul.

“And that’s just not write.”

Too funnnny. Bet you thought we missed that, huh?!

09.06.12#13

Comment by Menopausalmother.

It should vibrate AND be ribbed–then it would be the perfect ladies pen!

09.09.12#14

Comment by The Bearded Week in Review | The Bearded Iris.

[…] 1.) This laugh-out-loud mockery of the new Bic Pen for Her by the ever-hilarious Mouthy Housewives. I’ve read a bunch of Bic parodies this week and this is by far my favorite. […]

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