WTF? My Boyfriend Is Treating Me Like I’m The Other Woman
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I started dating this guy and he insisted that he wanted to be in a long-term committed relationship (which isn’t really my style). But because he’s pretty amazing, I decided to give it a try. However, now that we’re together, he’s spending less time with me and doesn’t always text back, etc. It’s like now that he has me, he doesn’t need to work for it.
I would be fine with a little slacking except that one of the friends he’s been hanging out with is his ex-girlfriend. He has gone to several events with her because she didn’t want to go alone, he’s driven her to the store, picked her up from work, and then comes home to me slightly miffed. And now he bought a puppy and it lives at her house because we can’t have pets at our place.
It seems to me like he is still in a relationship with her. I feel like his whore, the one he comes to because he needs to have fun and feel loved after being with his nagging wife. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Am I The Other Woman?
_______________________
Dear Am I The Other Woman,
Yes. Yes, you are. But I think you already knew that, right? That whole “if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and drives his ex-girlfriend to Target like a duck, it’s probably a no-good, two-timing duck” thing.
Quack!
But honestly, I don’t see why you’d want to be with this guy if he’s spending so much time with his ex and it’s making you feel bad. Because unless she’s in a wheelchair and needs his assistance to get around town in his special van, he has no business going places with her. Even if he’s not actually sleeping with her, it’s still not fair to you. And the whole puppy thing? That just gives him a built-in excuse to go visit her even more often. Very crafty, that.
Quack!
So what’s my advice? Well, my friend, I’m going to be blunt because Christmas is in just 12 days and the only shopping I’ve done so far is for beer and candy. So here it is: dump his ass. He’s obviously not fulfilling his end of the “long-term commitment” bargain he wants from you and seems to be playing both sides against the middle. And unless you’re living on a compound and dressing like Laura Ingalls Wilder, you don’t need a nasty Sister Wife in your relationship. (And whatever you do, don’t get his name tattooed on your body.)
His actions show that he doesn’t respect you, but your actions can show that you respect yourself. Move on, my friend.
Good luck,
Wendi, TMH
9 Responses to “WTF? My Boyfriend Is Treating Me Like I’m The Other Woman”
Comment by Plano Mom.
And I will bet all my broken heart pieces that when you tell him, he’ll tell you they are just friends and he just can be mean and say no when she needs him. That’s when you reply that unfortunately commitment means choosing to walk away from a friend in favor of your mate.
But don’t be hard on him or hatin’. He didn’t intentionally set out to do this. He thinks you’re fantastic enough to not want you to get away. It’s just that he hadn’t fully let go of what he had first. Time to choose and stick with his choice, and recognize that no matter what his choice, he’s going to be rejecting someone. Sorry you have to make him grow up.
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Comment by N and Em's mom.
He will be soooo attentive when you break up with him. Don’t fall for it.
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Comment by Roshni.
“and then comes home to me slightly miffed”. It doesn’t sound like you’re the other woman, it sounds like you’re the wife! 
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Comment by Ace.
I don’t mean to sound like a dick, but how is this even a question? You have to value yourself more than that! It’s not selfish to want honesty and commitment and to be treated fairly. BLERG.
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Comment by He Loves Me. He Loves Me Not. | The Mouthy Housewives.
[...] do see a red flag here and this relationship may not be forever. But you are so YOUNG. In a few years, you might just be laughing with your friends and saying, [...]
Comment by chastity.
Wendi, I absolutely loved your response. “Yes. Yes you are.” You just put it right on the table for her to see… thank you!
Chastity
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Comment by Should I Interfere With My Friends' Relationship? | The Mouthy Housewives.
[...] line here is that this is not your problem to handle. It seems to me* that they both have some emotional baggage they they will need to sort out independently of each other, and your intervention will do nothing [...]
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VG Reply:
December 13th, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Word.
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