Have you noticed that some stores are already putting out their Christmas and holiday items? Have you already started fretting and fussing about the oppression?
If so, then, well…maybe you should up your meds? But if not, then we have JUST the thing that will throw you over the edge: The annual Sears Holiday Wishbook. Why? Because this year, they’ve added a new product line to the catalog of toys and clothes and gadgets that little boys and girls peruse with big hopes and even bigger eyes, and they’ve placed that product right after the Superhero Section. Ready?
According to a Sears spokesperson, the choice to shill these decidedly adult-themed items to young girls is TOTALLY COOL because the Playboy Bunny has become “mainstream” and doesn’t necessarily “mean” what it “used to.” (I imagine she was doing “air quotes” as she released this statement.) A CEO of Sears Canada further explained this OMFG way by saying that they didn’t mean to offend anyone but that “not all of the products we carry are always going to be pleasing to everyone.”
And that got us Mouthys thinking. Maybe that CEO is right! Maybe we need to just “get over it already” and “stop being so sensitive” and just “be cool with the fact that tweens are viewed as sex objects!” So we’ve come up with a list of more items that Sears should consider adding to the toy section of its Wishlist for next year.
1. Adderall Lollipops
2. Maxim Backpacks
3. 50 Shades of Gray Lunchboxes
4. The Heidi Fleiss Hotpants Line
5. Hooters Headbands
6. Jenna Jameson skin care lotion
7. Anal beads inspired necklaces
8. Girls Gone Wild training bras
9. Baby’s First Pasties
10. …and a full sleeve tattoo with every $100 purchase!
What do you readers think about the new Sears Playboy line?