21 Sep
Mouthing Off: Sears Adds Playboy to Its Product Line

Have you noticed that some stores are already putting out their Christmas and holiday items? Have you already started fretting and fussing about the oppression?

If so, then, well…maybe you should up your meds? But if not, then we have JUST the thing that will throw you over the edge: The annual Sears Holiday Wishbook. Why? Because this year, they’ve added a new product line to the catalog of toys and clothes and gadgets that little boys and girls peruse with big hopes and even bigger eyes, and they’ve placed that product right after the Superhero Section. Ready?


Sears Sells Playboy

According to a Sears spokesperson, the choice to shill these decidedly adult-themed items to young girls is TOTALLY COOL because the Playboy Bunny has become “mainstream” and doesn’t necessarily “mean” what it “used to.” (I imagine she was doing “air quotes” as she released this statement.) A CEO of Sears Canada further explained this OMFG way by saying that they didn’t mean to offend anyone but that “not all of the products we carry are always going to be pleasing to everyone.”

And that got us Mouthys thinking. Maybe that CEO is right! Maybe we need to just “get over it already” and “stop being so sensitive” and just “be cool with the fact that tweens are viewed as sex objects!” So we’ve come up with a list of more items that Sears should consider adding to the toy section of its Wishlist for next year.

1. Adderall Lollipops

2. Maxim Backpacks

3. 50 Shades of Gray Lunchboxes

4. The Heidi Fleiss Hotpants Line

5. Hooters Headbands

6. Jenna Jameson skin care lotion

7. Anal beads inspired necklaces

8. Girls Gone Wild training bras

9. Baby’s First Pasties

10. …and a full sleeve tattoo with every $100 purchase!

What do you readers think about the new Sears Playboy line?

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9 Responses to “Mouthing Off: Sears Adds Playboy to Its Product Line”


Comment by Momof4Luds.

It looks like Hello Kitty products, only NOT!! In whose world does the Playboy Bunny not “mean” what it “used to”????

You forgot fruit punch flavored alchoholic beverages on your list. Oh wait, that’s already a thing.


Comment by Bitsy.

If that logo does not mean what it used to, then why would SEARS have to pay a licensing fee to Playboy? Because it means exactly what it has always meant – objectification of women!!! Let’s go back in time and start teaching that to our girls again. NOT.


Comment by Monica.

I haven’t shopped at a Sears in forever, and this gives me another compelling reason not to resume.


Comment by Momma Be Thy Name.

The, um, profile of the Sears customer has changed considerably. (For proof, go into a Sears.) I think they’re catering to those whom they are now peddling their credit cards. That’s all I am going to say.


Comment by vodka tonic.

11. Hugh Hefner’s Eau de Toilette, “Elderly”


Comment by Tonya.

Between the Kardashian klothing line and now this playboy line, clearly, Sears has everything I need for my little stripper-to-be!


Comment by One Funny Motha.

Love the Baby’s First Pasties. Sadly, that’s the direction we are headed.


Comment by notsoboringmommy.

What self respecting woman would want to be seen with a purse that is plastered with playboy bunnies?! That is what I would like to know. I can see the sheets, maybe for a bachelor pad (think about a certain pervert ex-husband), but I am pretty sure the merchandise should end there…


Comment by thepsychobabble.

What do I think? I think I’m amazed there is still a wishbook! I haven’t seen one of those in years!
But if I recall right, there were always sections that weren’t toys/kids weren’t there? (seriously, it’s been roughly 15 years since I saw one- it’s a little foggy)

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