Legally Gray
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I’m 29 years old and beginning to find gray hairs in my curly, brunette locks. I love the natural color of my hair and don’t really want the expense or upkeep of dyed hair. On the other hand, I don’t want to be *that* girl who everyone thinks needs needs to get to know Miss Clairol.
I know this decision is inevitable unless I want to have a white head of hair at age 40 (thank you, genetics!) How do I decide when to take the plunge?
Signed,
Gray Matters
_____________________
Dear Gray Matters,
I’m sorry, but after I saw the word “brunette,” I stopped reading your letter because I’m just not that interested in the troubles and travails of you people. Seriously, do you know how much harder life is when you’re blonde like me, Kelcey and Marinka? We’re constantly being invited to tractor pulls, beach blanket romps and masked costume balls with creepy, old rich guys who smell like knockwurst and like to caress our silky locks while they think of the Swedish angels they’ll soon meet in the afterlife. Sigh.
It’s not easy being a gorgeous, shimmery blonde.
In fact, if we didn’t have brown-haired Heather around to do all of the TMH grunt work, we’d probably all have to go back to bikini modeling in Reykjavik. And then who’d solve the world’s Facebook/In-Law problems, I ask you? Dr. Joyce freakin’ Brothers?
But while I may have ethereal, flaxen-colored hair that is the envy of all 50 states and Puerto Rico, I am not without heart. So that’s why I let Heather come out of the Sober Valley Lodge basement for a few minutes to answer your question. Here’s what she had to say:
“I follow the advice of my hairdresser. Black hair is the WORST to try to color, so we’re holding off on doing something as long as we can. When she tells me, “Girl, it’s time,” then I’ll decide when to take the plunge. Until then, the biggest color decision I’m going to make is between a red or white wine. But if this letter writer is just a regular brunette and she’s wringing her hands over it? Oh geesh, do it as soon as they become too many to pluck and hide. Brown hair is so easy to color.”
See? There you go! Dye away, baby! (But talk to your hairdresser before you mess around with any of that drugstore crap or you may end up looking like “What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?” or a drunk televangelist.) (Or maybe that’s the same person—which one talks to Jesus on the iPad again?)
Anyway, I hope that answers your question, Miss Brownie, because we all want you to have lots and lots of good hair days in your future. And now if you’ll excuse me, I must bid you adieu. Hef’s waiting for Kelcey, Marinka and me at the The Grotto and it always takes Heather a long time to get us there in her pedicab.
Sincerely,
Wendi, TMH
14 Responses to “Legally Gray”
Comment by Kati.
Eh, I say go for it! I’ve been dyeing my hair since I was 14 (someone made the mistake of telling me “if your hair gets any darker, you’ll look just like your mom!” and that was it for me), I’m 36 now and I love the freedom of changing my haircolor whenever I get bored.
Life is too short for boring hair, or hair that you’re unhappy with. You can always re-color or cut it all off if you hate it. It’s hair. Unless you’re my husband (who famously insulted all of his hair follicles back 2004 and they’ve been on strike ever since), it’ll grow back! And if it doesn’t – eh, one less thing to worry about.
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Comment by hokgardner.
Stay away from the Grotto. My sister has been to the Mansion (really, she has been), and she said the place was so nasty that you could pick up diseases just by walking through with shoes on.
And brunettes rule!
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Comment by skchord.
I recently developed the same problem after the birth of my daughter. I’d never had more than a rare lonely gray and then with the leave of my thick, lucious pregnancy hair, I was left with a managere of frizzy, gray stand outs. And those suckers in curly hair are a nightmare because they stand up, stand out, and demand to be seen!!! I have colored my hair numerous times and I love Loreal. My hair is actually lovelier afterwards. And with brown hair, you can match easily, and you only have to color once every 6-8 weeks. At least, that’s all I have to do. 
Good luck!
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Comment by Mimzy Wimzy.
I’m now 39 and have been dying my hair for about 17 years. (I know because my son was an infant when I did it the first time) I can’t tell you how many colors I’ve been through but, I know at this point no matter how much I don’t feel like dying it, I must! I just can not take the gray!
Unless you are very outgoing and carefree I would suggest you go to your hairdresser instead of doing it at home. Home dyes are harder on your hair and from experience, they do not come out the color the box shows you most of the time.
I’m the girl who figures, whatever, I’m just going to do it again in a few weeks anyway so who cares what color it is this week.
Good Luck with whatever you choose.
PS- do NOT dye it black!! Next to impossible to change it after that!
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Comment by Bean.
It depends on your grey. I’ve been going grey since I was 17. At this point, I have two silver streaks – one down each side of my face, and almost no grey anywhere else. People stop me on the street to compliment my hair. Even my gay male friends say not to color it.
Good thing, too, cause I’m way too cheap to shell out the $$$$ for coloring every 4 weeks. That’s a trip to Cancun every other year right there.
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Comment by Plano Mom.
My hair is almost completely gray and is now showing a lovely streak of white in the front. I am ALWAYS getting complimented on my very curly gray hair. However I am quite often mistaken for someone much older than my 48 years. I think a few ladies in my church who are in their 70s and still very BLONDE are not so happy that I go natural, but women my age thank me all the time. I say if it’s a pretty gray, let it be and enjoy the wisdom that people assume you have.
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Comment by StephanieG.
I started going gray in my 20s, and for years I colored it. Until, one day, this snarky size zero beyotch at my office commented that it was time for a touch up. I figured if it bugged her so much to see my gray, that we might just see how much gray I actually have.
At 43, I now own a much more salt-than-pepper head of hear, with beautiful silver streaks throughout. I am no fashion plate high maintenance kind of girl, but it’s not unusual at all for total strangers to tell me how beautiful my hair is.
Size zero beyotch? She is a handful of years older than I, and she looks, most of the time, like she’s dipped her head in a sink full of black ink.
Wear what makes you happy. You may just find that your gently graying mane someday becomes a fabulous definition of yourself. In the meantime, ask whoever cuts your hair for suggestions for home color. You’d be surprised how different one shade of brown can look from another.
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Comment by amy.
If you are worried buy yourself a box of non-permanent hair dye in the color that most looks like yours. If you hate it it will wash out in 20 or so shampoos. Or if you really hate it wash it with dish soap a few times.
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Comment by Cheryl.
Wendi, you’ve got to start playing nicely with the less fortunates. Really.
I’m the 2nd oldest of 6 kids. (Yes, feel my pain.) The only way we know I’m not adopted is the curls (thanks Dad) and the premature gray (really, Mom?). The other 5 are all just as blonde as can Wendi. I hate them.
I’m a natural woman. I have notches on my belt for every hairdresser I’ve made cry with my steadfast refusal to do anything about “the situation.” It’s freakin hair not my life. It’s not just men who look more distinguished with a touch (or full head) of gray hair. Pfft.
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Comment by Patty.
I had red-brown hair which started to go a weird ash color when I was pregnant and then started to gray at 30. Ick. I tried blonde (NOT a good choice), ran out of money, and then let it go gray. I wasn’t ready. Went back to dark red auburn in my 40′s; better, but . . . Now I say the hell with it. Life is too short to spend time waiting for process. It’s white now.
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Comment by Poker Chick.
I have the same problem. Dark brown hair, white grays, it sucks. I keep asking my stylist about it, knowing he has incentive to GET me to dye my hair, and each time, he says “not time yet”. Hold out as long as possible. It’s expensive, and drying, and all that. In the meantime know you’re not the only one wondering wtf you’re going to do if your tweezer moves out.
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Comment by Lisa.
We’re not in the 50s. Home coloring looks great. It’s the same product as the pros use, they just have more of an artist’s flair for it. Yes, pro coloring looks better, but $150 compared to a $10 box? It does not look 15x better.
If you want to take baby steps, start with a semi-permanent one and watch all those grays turn into gorgeous highlights.
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Comment by K.
I’m starting down the same road. I think I’ll experiment with highlights before I hit the hard stuff.
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