Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years and just met a ridiculously, ridiculously good looking man. I went on one date with him and it was okay. We have since tried to arrange to meet up twice more, but I have cancelled both times. I don’t know why. I just get scared that we will be going too fast or I will feel pressure to sleep with him.
I keep stringing him along because I don’t know if I want to see him because I like him or because I’m just lonely and he’s really good looking. I haven’t dated anyone for so long that I have no idea what I’m doing and I don’t want to throw away an opportunity.
He lives in another city, so would have to stay at my place if we did go on a date. I need to decide if I like him or not, but I have no idea how to do so. Help!
Dear Dating Dilemma,
“Electronic mail, commonly known as email or e-mail, is a method of exchanging digital messages from an author to one or more recipients. Modern email operates across the Internet or other computer networks. Email servers accept, forward, deliver and store messages. Neither the users nor their computers are required to be online simultaneously; they need connect only briefly, typically to an email server, for as long as it takes to send or receive messages.”
Ah, crap. Hold on.
The rest of the Mouthy Housewives are now telling me that I can’t just skate by with that lame answer and I have to write more or they won’t let me have my daily happy pill. FINE. WHATEVER. WHY CAN’T I JUST DO WHAT I WANT TO DO EVER? GAWD IT’S LIKE I’M A PRISONER AROUND HERE! JUST WAIT UNTIL I TURN 18!
Where were we?
Ah, yes. Dating! Well, it sounds like you’re not quite ready to get into a relationship, but yet you’re enticed by this guy’s good looks. Therefore, my advice to you is to just take it slowly and get to know each other over the phone and via email (see above). That way you can discover if you like his (yawn) personality without the distraction of his (wheee) hotness. If he pressures you to meet in person, simply tell him that you have the Swine flu or something else that might make him die a slow death while still looking ridiculously gorgeous. (Full disclosure: “Ridiculously gorgeous” sort of makes me think of Daniel Craig in a rainbow afro wig.) (Which still works for me—am I right, ladies?)
If he’s attracted to you for more than your looks, he should be happy to do this non-physical contact thing for awhile. Let him know your situation and why you’re so hesitant to jump into anything. If he doesn’t understand, then no harm, no foul. Chances are you’ll meet someone else who’s fits the bill when you’re ready.
THERE ARE YOU HAPPY, NOW LADIES?