Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My live-in boyfriend and I both love music. He keeps pressuring me to join him in his pursuit of the guitar, but I love the piano. The problem is that our budget just doesn’t allow for a piano and the one that I used to have is still with my parents. For almost every holiday, my father gives me sheet music. For the piano. Every time he calls, he gives me some “piano tips.” How am I supposed to use these presents if I don’t even have a piano?
Dear Ringing Ears,
First of all, I can’t believe how picky you are. Do you actually think you need a piano if you want to play the piano? I suppose you think you need water if you want to swim, too. And food if you want to eat. And lips if you want to wear lipstick. Honestly, woman, there’s just no pleasing some people.
I’m just kidding because of course you need access to a piano if you really want to master that instrument. (Pause to reflect how mature I am for typing the phrase “master that instrument” without giggling.) (Okay, I lied. I’m giggling like a mofo right now.)
Unfortunately, it sounds like the closest thing to a piano that you can afford is one of those cool piano-key ties that were so popular back in the 80’s. (Which really aren’t so bad because my college boyfriend learned to play an awesome “Rock Me Amadeus” on his.) But let’s assume you don’t want to go that way and visit some other options.
Option #1: Ask your parents if you can have their piano. I don’t know if this is logistically possible, but it’s obvious your dad is in favor of you continuing to play, so maybe he’d be willing to part with it. Cry if you think it’ll help.
Option #2: Check out the the music resources in your area. I know that here in Austin, there are at least two music schools and a few universities and colleges that offer practice rooms by the hour for a small fee.
Option #3: Try joining your boyfriend in his guitar lessons. It’s not the piano, but it’s still playing music and it’ll only strengthen your skills for when you’re more able to devote yourself to the keyboard.
Option #4: Get a portable, electronic keyboard like this. No, it’s not the best thing if you’re a piano purist, but it’ll still keep you in practice until you’re able to get the real thing. Plus, it looks really cool if you dress up like a doctor while you play it and stand next to Prince. Trust me on this.
Well, Ringing Ears, I hope that helps you out, and I wish you the best of luck in your musical pursuit. And if you’re ever in Austin, be sure to let me know. We have a piano in our living room, and I’d pay you $50 cash to wrestle it away from my kids.