06 Jul
Now,Where Did I Put My Memory?

Dear TMH,

I came home from vacation with my husband to find my container of coffee-an antique glass jar that I love-missing from the counter.   After frantically searching for it, I finally found out my adult daughter took it to her house. I tried to explain to her how upset I was, but she only said, “Gee, mom, it’s just coffee-relax.”   How can I make her understand that you can’t move stuff around in a house where a 53-year-old menopausal woman lives?


Cold Coffee/Hot Flashes


Dear Cold Coffee/Hot Flashes,

Boy, do I know what you’re going through. Not because I’m experiencing any menopausal symptoms myself, but because I also seem to have the memory skills of a meth-addicted squirrel who never remembers where he hid his stash, and then has to go door-to-door asking, “Excuse me, sir, but have you seen my nuts?” It’s a little frustrating to say the least.

However, while my memory loss is most likely due to heavy Pinot Grigio and/or Chex Mix consumption, yours is simply because you’ve just been given the lead role in Menopause: The Musical. (Congratulations!) According to most medical experts, when a woman gets older the level of estrogen in her body begins to decline, and this may lead to episodes of forgetfulness. If you’re truly concerned, obviously the best course of action is to see what your doctor would advise and take it from there. But in the meantime, I found some great ways to boost your memory right here.

Now, on to the bigger issue:   your adult daughter is not respecting your boundaries. You must not let this continue. The next time you see her, sit her down and tell her, in no uncertain terms, that your home is your home, not hers, and she doesn’t have the right to take (or move) your things. Of course, this little talking-to may make her feel like she’s once again a 5-year-old in trouble for taking mommy’s lipstick, but hey, if the shoe fits, right?   She may grumble and moan and blow you off, but just keep repeating your wishes until she finally gets the message and leaves your stuff alone.

And if she doesn’t, the next time she’s visiting your house, have your husband steal her keys and move her car around the block.


Wendi, TMH

18 Responses to “Now,Where Did I Put My Memory?”


Comment by Inna.

I would go to the daughter’s house and get back my antique glass jar. And when she notices its back in your house, tell her that you have no idea how it got there, but it really wanted to be home.


Comment by The Laughing Idiot.

How arrogant of her daughter & disrespectful. I would NEVER do this to my mother. I may tease, but to actually do it would be ding in our relationship.

I agree with Inna, take it back. Next time she’s over put a chain around it & lock it up – she’ll get the message. Leave it to her in the will if she likes it that much.


Comment by Tony Montana.

This young lady must be the princess darkness! How dare her!


Comment by number1chick.

sherrie im the princess of drakness my mom is the queen of darkness clay akein


Comment by Shauna.

Hello Everyone! I am the daughter spoken about. As menopausal women also can be overboard in thier responses to everyday life, I was really doing my mother a favor, she forgot to mention, memory loss I suppose! She was out of town, and I was left with the daunting task of caring for her house, dogs, everything. I needed coffee after all of the drama with her old dog who has a private room with a/c, GET MY DRIFT!. So before you hate on me, I did not care about the stupid jar, I just needed the coffee!!!! To the rest of you that find refuge in this method of validation, your resentment is DELICIOUS!!!!! But not as delicious as the coffee!!!!


Comment by jordan.

your daughter sounds like a spoiled bitch. her comment pretty much confirms it. If you needed the coffee maybe you should have just taken the coffee…or you know BOUGHT your own. Being an adult daughter who has taken care of my mother’s house, her 3 DOGS, 6 chickens and 10 hives of bees (not to mention the gardens) I have zero pity for you. I mean, she fucking pushed you out of her vagina. the least you can do is take care of her dog.


Comment by cadillac crasher.

Listen, what is wrong with her dog havin’ his own Air conditioned room, at least when she was on vacation, she didn’t ask you to talk to the dog over the phone………Now go drink your starbuck’s coffee!!!


Comment by Aludra.

Lol. The implication that the dog is spoiled is pretty funny. My dad’s dog doesn’t just have a room to herself, she owns the whole house and we’re lucky she lets us in it at all.


Comment by all jacked up with horses.

I don’t think our grown children realize how distraught we become by the “little” things they do. I know that taking care of the poor, defenseless dog was challenging. I’m sure that performing this small task for her is nothing compared to the endless hours your mother spent watching you play sports, ensuring you had a quality education or just simply supplying your every need as an overindulged child. It might be wise to apologize to your mother for her sacrafices and check your spelling before you hit submit. You spelled the word their wrong. It’s a good thing you are not a teacher!


Comment by going postal.

That grown daughter should know better than to “misplace or borrow” something w/o telling her mother…does she not know what “MENOPAUSE” is…….she could very well lose her own life or endanger other lives……daughter will have her turn @ menopause some day,her poor kids,husband, if she has any, she sounds like a beeeotch….


Comment by Flo Mo Nana.

Poor Daughter… She didn’t mean to do it… She just wasn’t thinking about how much that antique jar means to her MOM…. Poor Mom for thinking she was losing it again… If they only new how many things we search for weekly and secretly not wanting anyone else to know… In a panic frantically looking for what we have lost… And to come to find out that we didn’t misplace or lose it in the first place… It was somebody else…. And it usually is!


Comment by Gotchur-Back- Sista.

Shauna,,,Sign that hot-flashin,over analyzing,moody,forgetful(yet wonderfulmother)-well at least before the curse struck W/a years subscription of “Coffee Of The Month”I am sure that will bring back that oh so missed mother-daughter bond that has been so sadly thrown to the wolves since you TOOK THE COFFEE!!!!!I am sure that each and every time she recieves a new tasty flavor she will call you 1st thing along w/ all the bitter old friends she has(or at least those who have a ride)-to come over ,relax and share in her “delight”!!Once “there”while your mom & friends are laughing at how this great new traditioncame about(Im sure they will not give you the THANKS you are due in anyway!!!The dried up old bitches!!!–Go over and slip the coffee in your purse and leave her a Susan Summers pamphlet to prove to her its all in her head and if she would have only injected herself with thousands of tiny little needles each day -this could have ALL been avoided!!!!!So Basically you just proved to your mom -its her fault”again” Ja-Bap—in your face!!!!!P.S.-If the chick that cant stop wrecking the Caddie cant get a ride-have her call All Jacked Up w/horses and see if maybe she will give her a ride on the horses ass!!!!


Comment by Cold Coffee/Hot Flashes.

Dear Daughter-I am so glad that maybe FINALLY-with a little help from my friends- you now have others input and comments on the removing of the coffee jar. So now that hopefully we have reached an understanding that the next time you need coffee and by all means help yourself(Mi Casa -You Casa!)Please take all you need BUT put it in a little zip-lock bag or one of the dozens of saved empty butter bowls-cool whip bowls etc. that I keep up in the cupboard. If you can just follow these few -simple little rules we will get on famously!!!!—-Oh by the way—Your dad and I will be leaving on Friday for a 4-day weekend. I need you to come over and care for Buddy again.Make sure his air conditioner STAYS set on 68 degrees,(you know German Shepards get so hot with that thick coat,) Also make sure after youve let him out lift his tail and check under. Hes been getting a little poo on his self lately(poor old boy!) I will leave baby wipes by the door for you. Also If I havent gotten around to it I know its alot to ask -but would you be so kind to trim his nails about1/8 of and inch(be careful and dont cut into the quick–1/8 of an inch only, remember!!)And if he tries to bite you(And he will) his muzzle is with his doggie toys!! Oh I almost forgot — Flip his memory foam bed over once a day he hates when it gets a flat spot.Thanks dear,,,,Tootles-I will call you when we get home—-Give Buddy kisses for me while we are gone!!!


Comment by Shauna.

I am retiring from this mess of a website, much to all of your dismay.For the record, I only arrived here in my comments to defend myself. A few more comments as I depart……….

All Jacked Up With Horses- Check your spelling of sacrifices, nice try Spelling Bee Champion

Gotchur-Back- Sista-You must have a mother just like mine, thanks again for the support. These dillusional nags are relentless.

Tony Montana-You will NEVER be the legend that Scarface is, get a life!

Cadillac Crasher- I did have some Starbucks! Thank you. Lord knows I won’t be having coffee with my mother, any time soon.

Jordan- I think the site is called “Mouthy Housewives” not “Vulger Hoosiers, I Can’t Eloquently Say What I Mean Like A REAL Woman” site. Your chip on your shoulder screams for help. I have one word to you in closing-PROZAC!

Mother- Doggy Day Care, Call the Pool Guy-I’m not one, Cut your own grass, Have the neighbor get the trash cans from the street, Get some Prozac from Jordan, Tell Dad I’m sorry(he will know what I’m talking about), take your horomone shot, enjoy your nappy Folger’s coffee, and the coffee I used-It was gross, you can keep it.

In closing, I will miss you all, not really, and I hope that my mother’s dog drags his but across the carpet of his air conditioned room with the memory foam bed. Oh, and I’m not the housekeeper anymore. You’ll have to hire one to clean up the crap stripes on the carpet. Love you, and see you at Christmas-MAYBE!


Comment by Steph.

Well, this certainly seems to have been blown the hell out of proportion. Am I the only one wondering why serious damage is being done to a mother/daughter relationship over a freaking COFFEE JAR??? So she borrowed it without asking. GOOD LORD, WHO CARES? I’ve been known to borrow my moms tampons without asking as well (she certainly doesn’t need them anymore) and have gotten less grief. In fact, I can almost bet that there isn’t one thing in my post-menopausal mother’s house that she wouldn’t happily let me borrow. Especially if I was house-sitting!

So my advise is to the mother: if you realize that a reaction you have to your daughter is caused by menopausal hormones, maybe you should….oh, I don’t know…STOP HAVING THAT REACTION. Menopause is an explanation for your anger, not a justification. Take a deep breath and realize that you are in control of your actions, not your hormones. If you were a little frustrated, I understand. Honestly, your daughter should probably have mentioned that she had it, if only to save you from looking. But asking the Mouthy Housewives for advice on the matter (and subsequently opening your daughter up for harsh criticism and ridicule) was not the way to handle it. Especially since you apparently told her about the site…presumably to rub her face in the support you received.

As far as all the other people here being so inflammatory towards the daughter, shame on you. She is obviously acting defensive, and for good reason. You have obliterated this woman without knowing a thing about her. Your presumptions are harsh and surprisingly vitriolic.

And now daughter is feeling resentful while mom is feeling smug and justified. Wow. Let’s all pat ourselves on the back for making this situation SO much better for the two of them.


Comment by all jacked up with horses.

Shauna- I was wondering how long it would take you to catch that one!!!! You are a dear and I have had the best laugh over all this in a long time!!!!!!!! I really need to get a life if this is my form of entertainment. Oh wait a minute, I can’t!!! I have fun sucking kids that make me do everything that they want, need,whine about, manipulate, I don’t have to say anymore! I can’t wait til they get our age and I can torture them like your mom does you. Don’t fight it, embrace it and learn from her. We’re going to need it! She is my hero!!!!!!! (I can say that because she is NOT my mom) Lord help you!!!!!!


Comment by The Mouthy Housewives » Who Needs Waterboarding When There’s a Non-Sleeping Baby Around?.

[…] Stockpiling coffee (but for the love of God, don’t take it from your mom’s house!) […]


Comment by L.

I’m surprised by how this got blown out of proportion too. I’m even more surprised that the mother here is championing people calling her daughter a “bitch.” Aren’t moms supposed to be naturally protective of their kids?

Then again, I’m thinking, judging by the mom’s comments, that she was being tongue and cheek…though if I were her, I’d still take issue with people calling my child names. Maybe this is all satirical, anyway, and I’m just gullable.:)

Anyway, this site is hilarious (even if this thread got a little nasty).

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