Dear Mouthy Housewives,
This summer my kids (ages 14 and 9) and I have been invited to my cousin’s house for a week. This cousin is gay and lives in a (how can I put this without pissing anyone off) gay friendly area. My first problem is that my kids don’t know she’s gay. I’m not even sure that my 9 year old knows what gay is.
My second problem is that while we are there, my cousin and her partner (notice I said partner) are having a party to celebrate their marriage. While I love my cousin and her partner, I do not believe in gay marriage. And I am extremely uncomfortable having my children be ‘forced’ into celebrating this. I truly do support gay rights but I don’t want this thrust upon my kids. I have already said that I will be there for the party but am having second thoughts.
Be Gay! Just Not When My Kids Are Around.
Dear Be Gay,
You know who should never have gotten married? Michael Jackson and Lisa Presley. That was one bizarre match-up. J Lo and Marc Anthony could have skipped the alter too. I mean she’s all gorgeous and glowy and he’s just controlling. (I really want to be Jennifer in my next life so maybe I’m a little biased on that one. But how do you go from Ben Affleck to Marc Anthony?! Ugh.) And don’t forget Brittany and K-rod. Train wreck.
But a loving, happy couple who happens to be gay? Why shouldn’t they be married? You insist you support gay rights. But gays want the right to get married just like you and me. That seems like a basic human right.
I am guessing your 14-year-old and 9-year-old are certainly familiar with the concept of being gay. It’s just part of our culture. But maybe before you go, simply say to them, “I just want you to know that cousin Sarah is gay. That means she’s in love with a woman, instead of a man. (At this point, your 14-year-old will say, ‘No duh mom’ but just press on.) And Sarah is married to her partner Lisa. They are going to have a party to celebrate their marriage when we are there. There’s going to be music and food and it should be a lot of fun.” End of story.
I’m not sure why you think having your kids attend a gay wedding party, is “forcing” them into something. I think the biggest emotion that any kid feels at an adult party is hunger. As in… “When will all the speeches be over, so I can eat some of that chocolate cake?”
If you’re anti-gay marriage feelings are just too strong, then I would skip the trip. Your cousin is celebrating her marriage to hopefully the love of her life. And she should be surrounded by people who love and support her. If you can’t do that right now, it might be best to stay at home. But I really think this is about you and your feelings. Not your kids.
Good luck with your decision.