06 Feb
Gay Marriage Is Making Me Uncomfortable

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

This summer my kids (ages 14 and 9) and I have been invited to my cousin’s house for a week. This cousin is gay and lives in a (how can I put this without pissing anyone off) gay friendly area. My first problem is that my kids don’t know she’s gay. I’m not even sure that my 9 year old knows what gay is.

My second problem is that while we are there, my cousin and her partner (notice I said partner) are having a party to celebrate their marriage. While I love my cousin and her partner, I do not believe in gay marriage. And I am extremely uncomfortable having my children be ‘forced’ into celebrating this. I truly do support gay rights but I don’t want this thrust upon my kids. I have already said that I will be there for the party but am having second thoughts.

Signed,

Be Gay! Just Not When My Kids Are Around.

______________________________

Dear Be Gay,

You know who should never have gotten married? Michael Jackson and Lisa Presley. That was one bizarre match-up. J Lo and Marc Anthony could have skipped the alter too.   I mean she’s all gorgeous and glowy and he’s just controlling. (I really want to be Jennifer in my next life so maybe I’m a little biased on that one. But how do you go from Ben Affleck to Marc Anthony?! Ugh.) And don’t forget Brittany and K-rod. Train wreck.

But a loving, happy couple who happens to be gay? Why shouldn’t they be married? You insist you support gay rights. But gays want the right to get married just like you and me. That seems like a basic human right.

I am guessing your 14-year-old and 9-year-old are certainly familiar with the concept of being gay. It’s just part of our culture. But maybe before you go, simply say to them, “I just want you to know that cousin Sarah is gay. That means she’s in love with a woman, instead of a man. (At this point, your 14-year-old will say, ‘No duh mom’ but just press on.) And Sarah is married to her partner Lisa. They are going to have a party to celebrate their marriage when we are there. There’s going to be music and food and it should be a lot of fun.” End of story.

I’m not sure why you think having your kids attend a gay wedding party, is “forcing” them into something. I think the biggest emotion that any kid feels at an adult party is hunger. As in… “When will all the speeches be over, so I can eat some of that chocolate cake?”

If you’re anti-gay marriage feelings are just too strong, then I would skip the trip. Your cousin is celebrating her marriage to hopefully the love of her life. And she should be surrounded by people who love and support her. If you can’t do that right now, it might be best to stay at home. But I really think this is about you and your feelings. Not your kids.

Good luck with your decision.

Kelcey, TMH

96 Responses to “Gay Marriage Is Making Me Uncomfortable”

02.21.12#1

Comment by dadsprimalscream.

My experience…After my babysitter stood me up, I called my friend to tell her I couldn’t attend her wedding because I didn’t have a sitter. “Bring them! Please come!”

I swallowed hard, because my friend is a lesbian…not that I have a problem with it, but because my ex-wife is uber-Mormon and I knew she would. But deep in my heart I knew there was nothing wrong with my children’s participation. Exposure to love is always a good thing. So, I said “OK”.

As we were getting ready, they asked whose wedding it was. I told them it was a friend of mine and she was marrying another woman.

“Two girls?” the 5 year old asked.

“Yes, you know just like on the TV show Friends, Ross’ ex-wife marries another woman?”

“Oh yeah”

I took my 5 year old and 7 year old daughters (being already heavily indoctrinated Mormon) to a wedding of two lesbians. It was beautiful. It didn’t even register as remarkable enough on their radar to even mention it to their mom. At least I never heard any fallout from it…and believe me, I would have.

02.24.12#2

Comment by karena.

suggestion: send the kids, let them make up their own minds about what they believe. let them have a good time and dance with the brides. you stay home and sulk.

06.21.12#3

Comment by My 5 Year Old Wants to Same Sex Marry Her Friend | The Mouthy Housewives.

[…] Sarah and she loves her, then of course they’ll get married. The other part of me wonders if she will always love girls/women, which is fine; I just want to be encouraging and to protect […]

01.13.14#4

Comment by Violet.

I have a suggestion, tell your cousin to her face that you love her and support gay rights but don’t believe she should have the privledge of a marriage in a country where more than half of heterosexual marriages FAIL. Then, after that, see if you can live with your own foolish masquerade of political correctness.

02.15.14#5

Comment by TheyKnow.

I just want to say, that your kids probably already know and understand. Unless they are home schooled (and are only friends with other children who are home schooled and whose parents ALSO don’t support gay marriage) and only watch heavily restricted and censored television channels, only borrow parent approved library books and only go on heavily restricted and censored websites. If any of these things aren’t in place then TRUST me. They know about gay people. If they go to a public school, they know. In fact they probably know more about sex than you did when you were a teenager. I mean gays are a fact of life, it’s like trying to hide that the sky is blue or that Obama is president. The only way to make sure that they are never exposed to gay people is to lock them up in the house with no contact or knowledge of the outside world (tell them it’s 1813 for all I care). And THAT my dear is child abuse.

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