13 Aug
A,B,C,D can you guess which size is me?

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

Lately I’ve been preoccupied with what I think is my boyfriend’s love of large breasts. I have seen his internet browsing preferences (busty, blond etc) and I am quite the opposite: dark hair, petite build, flat as a board.

Just the other day he was looking at pictures of Jessica Simpson in all her boobtastic glory.   Also, the woman he was seeing before we met was stacked. These things combined have resulted in me thinking he is not really all that attracted to me. Rationally I understand a man would not date a woman he is not physically attracted to, but I feel like he might prefer I was a lot more “gifted” in that area. I have even started pointing out celebs or other women who are large chested and making comments like “yep, there goes your type”. Healthy? Endearing quality? Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

He tells me he doesn’t care, but when I see proof of him “appreciating” these types of women (porn, celeb gawking, former relationships) I can’t help but think he’s just feeding me a line of BS. Do you think I need to drink a cold glass of shut the hell up and stop giving my man a hard time? In everyday life I am truly not this crazy.


Bosom Buddy


Dear Bosom (or should I say a lack thereof),

To be clear I am breastly challenged myself and I’m still waiting for my car sticker to come in the mail so that I could park closer to Nordstrom’s bra department.

Some men are boob guys, some butt and others leg men but that normally isn’t all they look for in a woman and I pretty positive your case is no exception. Now if a size D set of breasts could also make a guy laugh and cook him a kick ass lasagna, okay, sure, perhaps your man would have never hooked up with the likes of you, but last I checked there is no known case of a pair of tits touring the United States doing stand up.

As far as your taking the time to point out other big breasted women, well, first of all, trust me, he sees them probably way before you do and second, until he starts pointing out to you men with giant….wallets (what did you think I was going to say?), don’t feel like it is your obligation to play tour guide through the streets of boobieland.

Everyone gets insecure now and again. I still have trouble standing in a room with a girl who has long legs because mine are so short and when I say girl I mean she could be seven and I’m all “I bet she can just wear pants right of the rack”, type of jealous, but in the end, I am what I am and I have to accept that.

However, what I can promise you is although different men seem to “prefer” different parts of a woman’s body, none of them takes a liking to neediness, ever, so start appreciating all that you do have and if in the end that is not enough for your boyfriend, it will be for someone else.

Take care.


Jessica, TMH

4 Responses to “A,B,C,D can you guess which size is me?”


Comment by Akilah Sakai.

Well-said, Jessica. Well-said.

I’m boobily challenged as well. Puberty came, dropped off Aunt Flo and hopped a plane to some other girl and gave her my tits. Some DD’er out there has some of my “stuff” dammit!

The Hubster says he loves my perky chest so there’s no argument there. I just had to find a positive somewhere in my mosquito bites.

They’ll never sag!!


Comment by Katie.

Dude, the guys’ saying is true : “once you’ve seen one set……you gotta see ’em ALL!”

My boyfriend lives it everyday. *eyeroll* And I, am actually gifted in that area. So it probably isn’t even you! It’s just the boob thing. He likes ’em. Simple as apple pie.

I usually say things like “wipe the drool off your face hunny, someone’s going to slip in the puddle and sue you” Which usually makes him look away and go “well…sorry….they were RIGHT there”

I’ve learned to let it be funny. 🙂


Comment by HellTygr.

We, as women, will usually read the worst into a situation. Trust me, if you were more “gifted” in that area, you’d never shut up that tiny voice that whispers in your ear, “Is that all I *am* to him?”

This way, you have the better situation. You know he sees you for who you are. The hard part is teaching yourself to be OK with what he sees in others, and OK with what he sees in you. 🙂


Comment by Marinka, TMH.

Or, you could poke his eyes out.

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