25 Jun
Are We Having a Good Time Yet?

Dear TMH:

I’m leaving for a 5-day “vacation” with my two boys and their grandmother soon. We will be visiting at least two theme parks (and probably not any yarn stores). Any words of wisdom?


Leaving but not loving it


Dear Leaving:

I’m glad you put “vacation” in quotation marks, as you are correct there is no vacation happening here at all.

My words of wisdom would be RUN FOR YOUR LIFE but I guess that probably isn’t exactly what you’re looking for so I’ll try to work with what it is you’ve given me. I’m not clear as to how old your children are or whether or not “grandma” is your mother or your mother -in-law (not that it makes a difference. Hell is hell, right? We’re just talking about a few degrees difference, at best, at least in my world.

But I digress.   The key here is to find time to spend on your own to recharge and remind yourself that you do in fact love both your kids and grandma and why it is you decided to take this trip in the first place.

If you like rides, then by all means, go with them to the parks. Perhaps you could spend half the day there and then ask grandma to put down the Mickey Mouse Margarita or whatever the house special is that day and take over while you grab a nap or at least take the time to just sit on a bench and judge people watch (something which I happen to love doing).

You also mentioned yarn stores, so I’m going to assume you’re a knitter. If that is true, then the worst case scenario, if you just can’t take it anymore and want to cut your trip short by say…four days,   insist that for every minute you spend doing something the boys want to do, they have to spend that same amount of time watching you knit one, pearl two or at the very least carry grandma to bed because all the alcohol sunshine made her dizzy.

Then again, you could always bring a bunch of board games or play cards, something my daughter and I love to do.   Lately Trouble   and Sorry! and this 300 piece puzzle we’ve been working on forever, have all been big hits over here. I’m sure your kids have some of their favorites, maybe they could pick a couple and bring them along.   Nothing wrong with taking a piece of home on the road with you.

Have fun.


Jessica TMH

5 Responses to “Are We Having a Good Time Yet?”


Comment by Inna.

Wait, isn’t she taking grandma so that she can have all the free time while the kids are being watched???
And don’t these theme parks have kid group things where you just drop the kids off?
Oh, as for yarn, I suggest carrying at least 3 projects… that way if you get bored, there is always another one with you!


Comment by The Laughing Idiot.

She did say “vacation” – is that code for “hide the bodies”? She didn’t exactly say what the yarn was for. We’re assuming it was for knitting. Let’s not forget, yarn is a form of string, which is a form of rope. Goodness, this is getting so sinister.


Ok, I’m going back to my happy-go-lucky, optimistic life. I’m sure the yarn was for knitting those adorable, sweet cherubs some sweaters for Chistmas. Theme parks wear kids out – they will need a nap – seize the moment!


Comment by Andrea's Sweet Life.

Pretend you’re a kid and just enjoy it all. Ride the rides, eat too much cotton candy, get your face painted. Then, at the end of the day, break open the mini bar and pretend you’re an adult.

What’s not to love?


Comment by Amber in Albuquerque.

Outing myself…I survived. Mom (my mom) made me only slightly crazy (no drinking, as a rule mom does enough for both of us). The kids (one of whom is ‘eccentric’) could almost be mistaken for children in the ‘normal’ part of the human spectrum. I only had time to finish one dishcloth and one book (both already well in progress), but I did ride some fun rides (and got soaked in the process). We went to San Diego. Couldn’t have ordered better weather. I can recommend LegoLand in Carlsbad as a great ‘intro to theme park’. The rides are all pretty tame, only some of the lines were long (we were just outside the ‘season’) and, well, I’m a geek and Lego is freakin’ cool. Sea World doesn’t suck either.

Love you TMH!


Comment by queenbee.

Grandma’s watch kids so moms can have free time, where?

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