Are mornings completely hectic in your house? Do you find yourself scrambling around to make your kids a healthy, nutritious breakfast before they head off to school? Well, here’s a thought: instead of cereal, yogurt or pancakes, simply give your kids black coffee and cigarettes for their morning meal! Easy peasy!
Oh, sure, having coffee and Camels for breakfast will probably stunt the kids’ growth and cause a few health problems, but just think of the energy they’re going to bring to the 2nd grade! They’ll get those math problems done in no time flat and maybe impress their teachers with an adorable 2-hour talking jag, too!
Not to mention that their new breakfast meal will totally prepare them for their future careers as unemployed musicians and artists. Does it get more educational than that? We don’t think so!
So tomorrow morning, grind some beans, crank up the coffeemaker, and bum a few cigarettes off Daddy. Breakfast is served!