24 Oct
My Mom Has Hit the Roof!

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

What do you do when your mom is so mad at you that she wants you out of the house?

Signed,

Asking for a Friend

__________________________________

Dear Asking for a Friend,

Your question doesn’t tell us much about your situation. But the fact that you’re reaching out for help seems to be a good sign, I’d say, and suggests you’re up to the task of trying to patch up this disconnect with your mom. So, good for you!

::flashes cool, hip, trendy, teenager hand gesture::

Because I don’t know the particulars, I figured we could work ourselves through some typical teenager/parent discord scenarios. Let’s say you’re a teenaged girl who has just lied to her mother and spent the night out partying with friends, making poor decisions about your health, and engaging in morally questionable activities with boys. For, like, the third time. (Just off the top of my head. Ahem.)

Or let’s say you’re a teenaged boy that’s gotten caught up with the wrong crowd, strung a web of lies that all started when you played hookie one day from school, rigged your bed to make it look like you were home sleeping, stole a friend’s father’s car, crashed a ritzy NYC restaurant, attended a major league baseball game, nearly got foiled by your sister named Jennifer Grey, and drove your school principal into early retirement.

Or maybe you’ve just moved to a small, country town, where rock-n-roll dancing has been outlawed, and you start a dancing revolution that gets you arrested and gives the whole town something to talk about and puts the name Kevin Bacon on the map, and then they go and remake it AND EVERYTHING IS RUINED BY YOU YOUNGSTERS AND IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE?!

Excuse me. Where was I? Oh, right…

For any one of these situations, your mother is going to be feeling betrayed, powerless, and completely sick with worry about whether you’ll make it to age 20. Fortunately, they all call for the same solution in working to correct the situation: you talk. You talk to your mother and understand each other. You listen to her concerns. You tell her about your feelings. And you reach an agreement about how you move forward, and YOU STICK TO IT. Your mom wants to be able to trust you, and the only way to regain that is to put your words to action, and start stepping up a bit. It may seem nearly impossible, but I’m pretty sure it’ll be the best decision you’ve ever made. Or, you know, your friend.

::flashes cool, hip, trendy, teenager hand gesture::

Go get ’em, tiger!

Kristine, TMH

7 Responses to “My Mom Has Hit the Roof!”

10.24.11#1

Comment by Cate8.

Do we know how old this person is? He/she could be 30 and still living in the basement.
Move out — see how much fun the real world is… {hahhahahah}

Kristine Reply:

There was something about the email address that suggested this was a younger girl.

But I have no idea for certain!

10.24.11#2

Comment by Meredith L..

Or, you do what my friend in high school had to do: ask your fag hag if you can move in with her and her parents for a while because you dropped out of school, but then you go get a job and your mom lets you stay.

Are we still allowed to say “fag hag?” Or am I just super old?

10.24.11#3

Comment by vodka tonic.

This sounds like an ABC After School Special.

I say, Shape Up or Ship Out.
– ask how you can contribute
– pull your weight
– don’t leave a footprint
– take care of your space and your things
– do nice things for others
– have a pleasant attitude

Kristine Reply:

Great, succinct advice!

Hamburke Reply:

Oh! I’m totally stealing this for my fridge!

10.24.11#4

Comment by Kelcey.

Everything you need to know about raising teenagers can obviously be found in “Footloose.” The original.

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