03 May
Whistle While You Work, Just Not While You Zumba, Jerkface

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I’ve recently really gotten into Zumba at the gym. It’s fun and burns lots of calories, but my favorite part is just going and cutting off my brain for and hour and de-stressing. Unfortunately, in the past two months, some crazy person has started whistling up a storm at almost nonhuman pitch and volume all during class. They really go to town if the instructor does anything “sexy.”

While I know that Zumba is a fun, dancey class, the constant high pitched noise is making me livid, to the point that I want to figure out who’s doing it and go smack them.  I feel really petty that this bothers me so much and every class I try to tune it out and be Zen and all, but it’s so annoying that I feel I’m just going to have to cut out the Zumba all together.

Am I right to feel that the gym is not a strip club and you should not detract from a stress relieving exercise class or am I just being a total bitch? I think I’m a pretty nice person and it bothers me that I can’t seem to be cool with the whistling. I even put in a request in the gym suggestion box that it be discouraged and of course it was laughed off as a joke. Thanks for hearing me out.

Signed,

Zumba Zombie

____________________________

Dear Zumba Zombie,

(Full disclosure: I have a headache right now and wisely decided to treat it with Chardonnay and Allegra-D. I am therefore not responsible forf;kv;eakv;eklj;l, the weird crap I may say.) (Oh, shut up. Dear Abby did the same thing.)

Good for you, problem-haver, that you’re doing a workout you like! I, for one, have never tried Zumba because anything where lively, rhythm based dancing is involved gives me the big itchy hives. Alas, tis what’s kept me out of Brazil for my entire life.

But even though I can’t relate to your Zumba experience, I can definitely relate to being pissed off by a jerkface in exercise class. In fact, there are two women in my Yogarobayates class who never, ever stop talking to each other. They think they’re sooooo hilarious as they stretch and reach and discuss what they’re cooking for dinner that night. I’ve seriously considered strangling them with a wet yoga strap, only my biceps are usually too tired to pull it off.

But my low-muscle tone issues aside, what I have done is email the owner of my gym and tell her that those two women are super annoying and that they undermine the teachers’ instructions. After all, you’re supposed to be paying attention to what the instructors say and any weird distraction like whistling might mean you stop paying attention and get injured. Therefore, it’s obviously in the best interest of the gym owner to silence the Zumba Moron, right? (This totally worked for me and the gym owner told them to STFU.)

That’s why I advise you to be a hip shaking Norma Rae and get your toned butt down to the gym manager’s office and tell them in no uncertain terms that the WHISTLING MUST CEASE. It is the instructor’s responsibility to make sure that this no longer happens, so make sure you assert yourself and say so. Chances are this person is bothering many other people in the class, too.

Sometimes causing an aural disturbance is almost as offensive as causing a physical disturbance. So you are totally in the right to complain and I really hope you do so. After all, every whistler need a whistle blower to shut him down.

Good luck,

Wendi, TMH

 

8 Responses to “Whistle While You Work, Just Not While You Zumba, Jerkface”

05.03.12#1

Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

I totally agree with Wendi and am shocked that your suggestion was laughed off as a joke.

Try and find out another gym where they hold Zumba classes, then tell the manager to his face that unless the whistling ceases, they are going to lose a customer.

05.03.12#2

Comment by N and Em's mom.

Usually I don’t like to play the harassment card unless it totally benefits me, but I was disturbed by the whistler’s reaction to “sexy.” It sounds creepy and distracting. The management of your gym has probably handled weird guys leering at others or worse, but you need to know who to tattle on. If its the weird guy that fondles the towel, you’re golden. If it’s the spunky little grandma that everyone loves, you’ll have to find another gym.

05.03.12#3

Comment by Nona.

I dropped out of a water aerobics class because it was taken over by a hillbilly who was physically incapable of shutting her mouth. Telling management that I could not hear the instructor over this loud, twangy, incessantly chatty woman did not help. I was told there was nothing they could do.

I had to quit before I beat her senseless with one of the foam weights and drowned her. No exercise routine is worth prison.

Jenee Reply:

This could quite possibly be the coolest thing I have ever read in my life. Thank you, Nona.

I would have loved to see you beat her senseless with ones of those foam weights! That’s good stuff.

The gym is no place for whistling – people want to focus. The Whistler needs to do that crap on his/her(?) own time.

05.03.12#4

Comment by rojopaul.

And this is why I don’t go to the gym. LOL

But seriously, I agree with Wendi and the others. Try to work it out with management first. If they don’t deal with it and you can’t find another class without the whistler, then find another gym.

05.03.12#5

Comment by Danielle.

Maybe it’s just me and the fact that I have on problem with confrontation but I’d just stop and say, “PLEASE STOP WHISTLING!” really loudly in class. If that doesn’t work you’ll need to buy a zumba tape.

05.03.12#6

Comment by Martinis and Minivans.

I completely understand! I wrote about zumba on my blog recently and said how I was so uncomfortable pelvic thrusting in public! Especially wearing a sweaty old tshirt and a ponytail that was slipping towards the side of my head. Good times.

http://martinisandminivans.com/2012/04/16/the-locker-debate-a-day-at-the-gym-for-a-not-so-fit-girl/

05.05.12#7

Comment by Cate8.

is it a wolf whistle kind of thing or maybe they whistle as a stress relief? at my zumba the music is so loud I could never hear anyone…..
crap I gotta get back there

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