14 Jul
Should You Smack Down a Smacktalker?

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My 9-year-old daughter had a friend over the other day and the friend stayed for dinner. I asked both girls to set the table. The friend didn’t seem to mind, but her mom later told another mom at school that I invite kids over to use them to “do my job” around the house. I’m annoyed. I don’t really have a relationship with her beyond exchanging pleasantries, so should I talk to her or just write her off as crazy?

Signed,

Miffed Mom

_______________

Dear Miffed Mom,

I don’t usually condone Mom on Mom violence, but in this case, the woman obviously deserves a slap upside the head. “Pow! Yeah, that’ll learn you to talk shit about me, you ugly, gossipy hosebeast! Now lick my shoes and polish my silver before I unleash my other fist, beeyotch! Grrrr….”

Who says female fantasies are a waste of time?

Anyway, my advice is to just let this slide and move on. Of course, I mean “move on” while continuing to harbor a deep, petty grudge against this ridiculous woman for at least ten more years, which pretty much describes my relationships with 60% of the mothers in my neighborhood. (And the other 40% had better watch it if they know what’s good for them.) (There’s a slight possibility I’ve had too much red meat today.)

However, even if you take the high road, never fear because you can still have fun with this woman. For example, the next time she sees you and your daughter, say something like, “Sorry, can’t talk! We have to get home so my kids can scrub toilets and regrout the countertops!” Or “Gee, my daughter would love to sleep over at your house, but her chain gang is breaking up rocks in my yard this weekend while I whip them with a belt. Maybe next time?”

But whatever you do, just take heart in knowing that you’re probably not the only one in your neighborhood to whom she’s said nasty things. Crazy doesn’t like to keep quiet, but Crazy should also be avoided at all costs. Don’t feed the insanity.

Good luck,

Wendi, TMH

26 Responses to “Should You Smack Down a Smacktalker?”

07.14.11#1

Comment by HellTygr.

For this one, I’d suggest that the error in translation may also lie between the daughter and the mom, the mom just might not have all the facts. The friend may not have minded at the time, but you know how they *ALWAYS* have to do *ALL* the work at that age and you *NEVER* let them do anything fun!!! High road time, definitely.
And if that fails, have them paint the hallways.

Wendi Reply:

Great point about the error in translation. My kids make it sound like I make them work their fingers to the bone.

annie Reply:

This is a good point! I once had an elementary teacher tell us on parent’s night that she promised only to believe half of what the kids tell her about home if we promise to believe only half of what happens at school 🙂

07.14.11#2

Comment by Cheryl D..

OMG! I thought some of the moms I knew were crazy, but they don’t even come close!

07.14.11#3

Comment by Errand Girl.

yes! love the advice!

As a PTO Pres Mom…I hear crap all of the time. You can’t let the crazies get you…just keep them spinning so they are out of your hair and in someone else’s.

07.14.11#4

Comment by Cate8.

LUv it— took my kids to a long time friends house for some pool fun….we walked in on her high school aged son’s friend (a boy) vacuuming her family room! She explained that if you want to hang here you have to help. Her house was clean (only 3 kids) her children happy and so was she. I gotta follow her path…and my 13 yr old daughter actually liked her and wants to go back!!! I have come to realize kids need to be needed and will take pride in their chores. (I promise I am gonna work on this as soon as I get off my computer)

07.14.11#5

Comment by From Belgium.

Perhaps the woman is jalous because you got her daughter to set a table, a feat she has yet to accomplish…

07.14.11#6

Comment by Albug.

If I ever heard my kids DIDN’T HELP when they were at someone’s house they got in trouble. Eating dinner at someone’s house? Help set the table, clear the table and help with the dishes. Staying the night? Pick up the toys, fold your clothes and make the bed. Please and thank you to be said. It isn’t being put to work, it’s being a good guest! This crazy mom is raising a prima-Dona if she thinks helping out as a guest is slave labor. That being said, I agree, mess with her a little, but let it go. The high road always has the best view.

Karin Reply:

you know who gets invited back to my house (we’re talking adults here but it could apply to kids)? the gals that are good guests, don’t mention that my silverware doesn’t match (somewhere along the line, we lost all but 2 spoons) and volunteer to help out.

And you’re right, if I ever heard that my kids DIDN’T help out when they were a guest at someone’s house, it would be a LONG, LONG time before they were allowed to go visiting again so they could prove to me that they know how to be a good guest.

07.14.11#7

Comment by Karin.

I’m still trying to figure out how setting the table can translate into “doing my job”? I haven’t set the table in years… my kids do (even my 4 year old son can do it with minimal supervision). My kids even clear the table and do the dishes (well, the 4 year old empties the dishwasher with my help). They also do the laundry and tidy their rooms and the living space.

Desperate Dietwives Reply:

Wow Karin, could I have your kids over to my house? 😀

Karin Reply:

I didn’t say they did it HAPPILY…

Karin Reply:

you have to be willing to accept a certain amount of “I hate you” and “You’re the worst mommy in the history of the universe” on a daily basis.

Albug Reply:

Way to go Karen! You are raising adults, not self important kids! My hat is off to you.

Plano Mom Reply:

Karin, thank you for reminding me today that it is not my job to be liked. I’ve been getting hit hard with the “you never listen” mantra and needed a Mom slap. I new there was a reason to read the comments again!

07.14.11#8

Comment by Plano Mom.

“Crazy doesn’t like to keep quiet”

That is the best line I have heard in years. It’s my new mantra.

As for CrazyMom, my own dear mother always says to keep your head high, because it’s easier to see where the gutter is.

Bean Reply:

LOVE it. Stealing it.

Sweet Marie Reply:

Me, too! 😉

07.14.11#9

Comment by ModernMom.

LOL Love it, you are so right, avoid the crazy. My experience…those crazy Mam’s only get worse with age!

07.14.11#10

Comment by Emily.

I’d just avoid her. and possibly make the snarky comments above. I’d definitely ignore her. Cause really? she doesn’t sound worth getting upset over.

07.14.11#11

Comment by MJ.

Great response and shame on that mother for opening her mouth… am I really suppose to feed the kid for free? my kids have to earn their dinner… why shouldn’t guests? imagine what she would have to do if she was to come over 😉

07.14.11#12

Comment by Jenny.

helping set the table? If not helping wash the dishes, then at least clearing the table…those are all basic mannners and ones I practice every day with my girls and with my daycare kids…so when they do go over to someone else’s house it will (hopefully) be automatic…

It’s unfortunate for your daughter, but I wouldn’t encourage a friendship with that kid…all because the mother IS a big mouth like that. I sure wouldn’t want to be friends with HER!

07.14.11#13

Comment by Kelly.

If you want to address it, play it casual the next time you see her and make a big joke that you heard “through the grapevine” that you have a reputation as a bad hostess and “hahaha, the things those kids come up with after having to set the table. Nine-year-olds, you know??!” This both clarifies any misunderstandings that her kid may have reported back to her and lets her know you got her number. Sometimes people need to have their bluff called in order to keep them in check.

07.15.11#14

Comment by Tonya.

Yes, you most certainly need to stay away from Crazy! And I LOVE Wendi’s advice about making a little jokes when you see just to let her know you KNOW.

07.15.11#15

Comment by Kelley.

Is there something wrong with having your children bust rocks outside? Should I go get my 3 y/o and 6 y/o from the yard? Starting to feel bad over here.

04.30.12#16

Comment by Talking About Other People's Children | The Mouthy Housewives.

[…] So listen to your gut and don’t gossip about other people’s children.  Except behind their backs, like everyone […]

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