11 Mar
Just Shut Up and Pick Up the Hammer, Handyman

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

Do I have to pay the $100 an hour guys that come to my house to put in closet shelves if they spend their time shooting the breeze on my dime? Should this not bother me? Am I just cheap? It seems like every time I have to call a handy man in to paint the bedrooms or caulk the shower stall or clean out the gutters, he ends up talking to me about his kids that don’t listen, or the lazy boss at his old job. I’m fine with being an ear to someone who needs one, but must I be the one paying to hear of someone’s woes at two bucks a minute?? Seems like they should be paying me, not me paying them to dump on me.

The last straw was with a closet maker/organizer that came last week. She sat and talked about her divorce and then sent me a bill for 3 hours work when she spent at least half an hour at my kitchen table complaining about her ex not giving her enough money to pay for private school tuition for the kids. I can’t be the only one. Do people just pay this and consider it a “tip?” Am I just a cheap skate?

Sign me,

I’ll Listen, But Not At 2 Bucks a Minute

________________________________

Dear I’ll Listen,

I guess it’s safe to assume that the “handymen with caulk” in your house aren’t shirtless, otherwise you wouldn’t be complaining. Which is probably your first mistake, hiring clothed handymen, but then again, I suppose not all handymen should go shirtless. (I’m looking at you, Fatballs Larry. Ain’t nobody need to see that crack.)

It’s also probably safe to assume that you have one of those “approachable and friendly” faces that gives workers the signal it’s okay to talk to you. Bad, bad, bad. So very bad.

“In the presence of the hired man, one must always put on their Mega Bitch Face.” That’s a quote from the Dowager Countess. Or maybe it’s a quote from my Dowager Neighbor who’s always nasty to the lawn guys. I’m not sure which because I’m usually tipsy when I watch PBS. (That’s why I have 150 tote bags: drunk dialing during pledge drives.)

Anyway, I know it may sound like I’m kidding about the bitch face thing, but I’m really not. If you don’t engage the handymen in conversation, they won’t talk to you. It’s as simple as that. Even if your entire body is telling you, “Go ask Phil if he has any kids!” you must not ask Phil if he has any kids. Tell him what you need done, then disappear.

If he tries to talk to you, put on headphones or pretend you only speak Portuguese or something. Glue your cell phone to your ear and act like you’re on a conference call. (“What?! No, I told you I need that report ASAP, Jeremy! I’m calling HR!”) Just do whatever you need to do to be antisocial. Sure, he may think you’re sort of a jerk, but who cares when each word that comes out of his mouth costs you cash, right?

And if that doesn’t work, give me a call. I’ve got a hammer, a need for cash and I never talk to anyone if I don’t have to.

Good luck,

Wendi, TMH

_____________________________

Also, heads up that we’re joining in Cooking PlanIt’s Big Spice Giveaway! Our contest will be the week of March 21-27th, but there are 50 other blogs also participating. Look!

SpiceGiveaway

50 Bloggers are giving away 50 sets of 26 top spices over the next 25 days! That’s 50 Chances to Win!  Starting today, March 6th, 2 bloggers will start a 7-day spice giveaway (winners in continental US only) with winners announced on the 8th day. Each day after that, for 25 days total, two more giveaways will start. Check out the 50 foodies in the matrix below, and join their contests for additional chances to win! PIN THIS CONTEST AND SHARE THE SPICE.

Don’t want to wait, win now and buy your own custom spice set from Spices Inc.

*Note: The dates below are start dates, some bloggers may not get their contests started until the evening on that date, so please be patient. We promise, all links are real, all parties are enthusiastic and willing participants. And it’s a proven fact, that your chances of winning go up exponentially each time you enter an additional contest. Thank you.

2013 Cooking Planit Spice Giveaway Participants

Start Stop Flight 1 Flight 2
1 3/6/13 3/12/13 Sophistishe Field and Feast
2 3/7/13 3/13/13 The Wicked Noodle The Cooking Planit Blog
3 3/8/13 3/14/13 The Aliso Kitchen Slow Down & Savor
4 3/9/13 3/15/13 Chicago Foodie Sisters Jessiker Bakes
5 3/10/13 3/16/13 My Happily Ever After the End The Food Yenta
6 3/11/13 3/17/13 Notes from Maggie’s Farm Food Fash
7 3/12/13 3/18/13 My Kitchen Addictions What Jew Wanna Eat
8 3/13/13 3/19/13 Bite Sized Blog Nicole’s Nickels
9 3/14/13 3/20/13 A Busy Mom of Two Food Squeeze
10 3/15/13 3/21/13 Kasey’s Kitchen Kitchen Concoctions
11 3/16/13 3/22/13 Daily Ups & Pounds Lisa Cooking
12 3/17/13 3/23/13 Ditch the Box Huppie Mama
13 3/18/13 3/24/13 Hungry Hutch Food Fetish
14 3/19/13 3/25/13 Cook the Blog Three Diets. One Dinner
15 3/20/13 3/26/13 Sugarfoot Eats Gear Live
16 3/21/13 3/27/13 CopyKat Recipes The Mouthy Housewives
17 3/22/13 3/28/13 Burnt Apple The Butterfly Mom
18 3/23/13 3/29/13 The Mama Report Ancestral Chef
19 3/24/13 3/30/13 A Food Centric Life We Like To Cook
20 3/25/13 3/31/13 Dixie Chik Cooks Baby Boomster
21 3/26/13 4/1/13 Unorganized Mommy of 3 Much Ado About Fooding
22 3/27/13 4/2/13 Better with Butter The Primlani Kitichen
23 3/28/13 4/3/13 Mother Would Know California Country Gal
24 3/29/13 4/4/13 Yi Reservation NY Foodgasm
25 3/30/13 4/5/13 ME Redone Creative Culinary

 

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The Spices for Cooking Planit's Spice Giveaway

Image courtesy of Emily Wilson and Cooking Planit

 

3 Responses to “Just Shut Up and Pick Up the Hammer, Handyman”

03.11.13#1

Comment by Alexandra.

And the wise ones know how to fix it pronto. THank you, mouthy housewives.

03.11.13#2

Comment by Julia (@3bed2bath1baby).

Your link didn’t work to the Dowager comment 🙁

03.27.13#3

Comment by Janet.

I love nutmeg.

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