Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I asked my husband what he thought about one of those agreements I’ve heard married couples trying where they have sex once a day every day for a set amount of time. I threw a month out there. It’s supposed to improve intimacy.
His reaction was a surprise. He said he didn’t know. He asked if it was still required if I was yelling at him to put his dishes away. Or if I would be wearing lingerie. In short, he wasn’t overly interested.
To quantify, we have sex probably once every two weeks. It’s hot sex and I look forward to it. Yes, I wish there was more, but I want him to initiate more. Yes, we fight once in a while (once or twice a month maybe?). I am certain, without a doubt, he is faithful. Is this a warning sign that we are in trouble? Most husbands are pretty excited for this offer, and surprised it’s even on the table. Should I be worried?
Feeling Not So Sexy Now
Dear Feeling Not So Sexy Now,
I actually think your husband should be grateful because this woman offered her husband sex for 365 nights in a row as his 40th birthday present. And he initially turned her down, too. Her reaction…
“I gave him the ultimate offer – the stuff of fantasy – and he said, ‘Yeah, not so much.’ Why wasn’t he jumping up and down like a kid in a candy store? Why were there no high fives? No kisses of joy and gratitude, and phrases like, ‘You’re definitely going to win ‘Wife of the Year’ with this one, honey!’”
So as you can see, there are men everywhere who are a bit weary of too much time in the sack. And women who can’t believe they are being turned down. You are not alone.
Basically, unless you’re married to a horny 18 year-old college student (and if you are, I’m seething with jealousy over here as I imagine his sweaty six-pack, toned biceps and full head of hair), a lot of husbands are not going to shout hallelujah at the chance to have obligatory sex every night of the week. It just feels too forced.
But there is no reason you can’t improve your sex life. If your husband does not want to do this one month sexathon, then ask him what he does want. And let him know you’d like him to initiate more. There are many ways to work on intimacy without missing out on all your favorite TV shows because you’re stuck in the bedroom night after night.
And it doesn’t sound like there is anything wrong with your marriage. You’re married, still have HOT sex and ONLY fight once or twice a month. Girl, you two got it going on. I promise.
Good luck to you,
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