23 Feb
Help! I’m Stuck On Mount Crushmore!

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I’m very attracted to a friend’s husband. I’m happily married, and would never, ever act on it, of course. But how do I get rid of this crush? It’s making me feel silly and uncomfortable.

Signed,

Krush Killer

_______________________

Dear Krush Killer,

I want you to close your eyes for a moment and picture Mr. Crush in your head. Think about his warm, brown eyes, his strong hands, his sexy laugh, the way he trims his hedges with the style and grace of a young, hot Sean Connery. Ahhh… delicious, isn’t he? It’s really no wonder why you’ve fallen so hard for your friend’s perfect husband.

Now I want you to close your eyes again. This time, picture Mr. Crush sprawled out on your couch wearing nothing but dingy underwear and black socks. Keep looking as he loudly scratches his belly, burps like a rabid gorilla, then wanders over to the kitchen where instead of putting his cereal bowl in the dishwasher, he carelessly plops it in the sink knowing that the little lady’ll take care of it for him like she always does.

White-hot crush staring to fade a bit?

The truth is, we all sometimes find someone besides our mate attractive. Chalk it up to chemistry, or animal lust, or too much wine mixed with black market diet pills. Crushes are normal, and usually illogical. And since you claim you’re “happily married,” I’m assuming there doesn’t seem to be any deep-seated displeasure with your husband or any danger of you acting upon these feelings.

Therefore, might I suggest you simply repeat the second part of the visualization exercise I mentioned above a few times a day. Maybe add in a few images of Mr. Crush throwing his dirty socks on the ground, picking lint out of his misshapen belly button, and doing the white-man’s underbite to “Louie Louie” at your class reunion, too. Ewww! you’ll think. He’s disgusting! He’s repulsive! He’s making me nauseated! He’s nowhere near as cute as—my husband.

Problem solved.

Love,

Wendi, TMH

_____________________

Congratulations to ANDREA, the winner of our FLOW book giveaway ! Enjoy the read!

MORE MOUTHY HOUSEWIVES BIDNESS:

We’re throwing a happy hour party at BlogHer 2010 this summer!! If you want to find out all the details and how to sign up when the time comes, join our Facebook group by clicking here.

And remember, whether you’re going to BlogHer or not, we need your votes!! Aunt Becky, Marinka, Wendi, and I (of The Mouthy Housewives and Mommy Wants Vodka) have put in for a Room of our Own on how to create a successful, entertaining advice site. So please just click here, log on to BlogHer and then click “I would attend this session” (it’s just above the title: Dear Abby 2.0). After you click it it will miraculously say “I would not attend this session.” This means that your vote for the session has been successfully registered. Thank you!

5 Responses to “Help! I’m Stuck On Mount Crushmore!”

02.23.10#1

Comment by Teresa.

LOL….I will file this advice away for the next time I get one of those crushes

02.23.10#2

Comment by mountainmomma18.

Crushes are totally normal and part of what makes us human. And they are harmless-especially since your cruch will inevitably do something annoying and then you will be over it. I sometimes think other men are hot, then I hear them talk…yeah

02.23.10#3

Comment by Lisa Rae @ smacksy.

“…doing the white man’s underbite to ‘Louie, Louie…”

Perfect.

02.23.10#4

Comment by the mama bird diaries.

You just killed every crush I’ve ever had. Men are disgusting. Except my husband of course.

12.12.11#5

Comment by It's Your Party And I'll Stay Home If I Want To | The Mouthy Housewives.

[…] spouse’s holiday parties. Because unless you’re friends with the people there or have a mad crush on your spouse’s co-worker, it is just a work event. With wine. That you can’t drink […]

Consider Checking Out...