26 Jul
Dare I Date A Younger Man?

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I recently went to a friend’s wedding, and it was amazing!  There were so many available men and not so many available women. I love dancing, and had a blast dancing with guy friends and wound up dancing with Mr. Right (or Mr. Right for Now). I know his family a little and get along great with his mom. I was blown away by the sparks that ignited on the dance floor, as they don’t ignite very often. We danced twice. He was very sad to see me go. I couldn’t get him off my mind, daydreaming about running into him. Then this morning I, a 29 year old single mother of an older toddler, found out that he’s 21……..WTF??!! What do I do??

Signed,

Mrs. Robinson

__________________________________

Dear Mrs. Robinson,

I’m no Stephen Hawking, so forgive me for any mathematical errors, but you seem to be eight years older than this man.  And it’s not like you’re 21 and he’s 13. (Look at me all mathy!) You are both consenting adults, free to pursue whatever happiness consenting adults can pursue together.  Spoiler alert– it doesn’t involve watching The Real Housewives of New York together. Trust me, I tried.

Eight years happens to be the exact age difference between me and my husband and you should hear him roll his eyes when I imply that I was his child bride.  In my defense, I was a very young 29.  So to me, the age difference is not significant.

You mention that you get along well with his mom, so perhaps you’re worried about how she will react if you hook up with her son.  Or maybe you’re uncomfortable because you are a mom yourself and this man is child-free.  These are all valid concerns, but not ones that should stand in the way of pursuing a relationship. At this point, we don’t know if the two of you have a spark off the dance floor,  common interests and things to talk about, however, so take it one step at a time.

Call him. And know that in the grand scheme of things, eight years is nothing.

Or, lie about your age.

Good luck,

Marinka, TMH

16 Responses to “Dare I Date A Younger Man?”

07.26.11#1

Comment by chris10.

Pshh 8 years is nothing. 🙂 my boyfriend is 8 years older than me and we have a ton in common and are working it great. I’ve also dated a man 12 years older than me but we just had clashing personalities and lacked that “spark”. So I think if you have that spark go for it!

07.26.11#2

Comment by Cate8.

Worry not my second husband was (well, he is still alive) 7 years younger than me. I had 4 kids from my first marriage he had zero children when we met. We had 4 kids together and were married for 14 years. Age is not the important thing… what you have to talk about while not in bed is what matters.
So more Math 4 kids plus 4 kids equals 8 kids…and now I am dating a man who has zero kids and zero ex-wives and is eight years older than me!
yipes, I need a calculator.

07.26.11#3

Comment by ashley.

well good for you! 29 snagging a 21 year old! you must be looking good! MILF! haha you might also want to factor in any alcohol consumption as well into your “spark”. just a thought! and i dont think the age difference is a big deal except to keep in mind a 21 year old guy is probably still quite immature. but hey, maybe he will get along with your toddler! good luck!

07.26.11#4

Comment by cars76.

I am dating a man who is 5 yrs younger than me, and it bugged me in the beginning because I never had dated younger, but… as I got to know him better as we dated I realized age is just a number. He is 29 turning 30 this month and I am 34. I have two kids from a previous marriage and he has no children, and I worry that he will want some of his own someday and I cannot provide but… we will get there when we do. If you have things to talk about with each other, than you will have a chance. IMHO…

07.26.11#5

Comment by From Belgium.

I’d say go for it. Until he refers to you as an ‘older woman’, then punch him.

07.26.11#6

Comment by Bean.

But don’t lie about your age. It’s never a good idea to start something with a lie.

07.26.11#7

Comment by Wendi.

I just realized I’m old enough to be his mother. Now I’m depressed. But call him!

07.26.11#8

Comment by Emily.

8 yrs is nothing.

and never lie about your age.

I’m 32 and everyone thinks I’m still in college, so I’m confused about Ashley’s comment above. Maybe she is still young enough to think 29 is old?

I’d find out if there’s an actual spark worth pursuing before getting too wrapped up over ages.

07.26.11#9

Comment by Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him.

If you can land a 21 year old dude who thinks that stretch marks and C-section scars are intriguing, I say go for it.

07.26.11#10

Comment by LindaSalem.

My husband is almost six years younger; however, I am 64 and he is 58. Currently, our only problem is that I’m retired and he’s not.

I think you made a point that this guy is “Mr. Right for Now.” It’s nice to have those sparks for sure, but I think I’d keep it in the “let’s go out and have fun” and keep it cool until you see if he’s as much fun off the dance floor.

Also, although you get along fine with his mom now, don’t be surprised if she’s not terribly keen on your dating her baby boy. He may be a consenting adult but you can almost bet SHE won’t see it that way. However, you should not let that stop you. It’s more important for the two of you to create a relationship first. I’m just saying I don’t think I’d be too quick to tell mom I think her son is hot – keep it between the two of you for now.

07.26.11#11

Comment by Meredith L..

My husband is 5 years younger than I am. Younger men are awesome: they think you know everything!

07.26.11#12

Comment by StephanieG.

I was 28 when I got my 21-year old….we’ve been married for 12 years now and have a beautiful daughter. The only time our age has been an issue is once when we discussing The Challenger tragedy. I mentioned I was in the cafeteria in my college dorm when I heard the news. My little boy toy told me he was in the 6th grade when he heard. We decided right then that history might be a good subject for us to avoid…..

Truly, once you’re married and settled, seven years is nuthin’.

LindaSalem Reply:

Hubby-honey and I had something similar – only for us it was Kennedy. I was a junior in high school and he was 5th grade. We don’t talk about that stuff anymore because it REALLY depresses me – lol.

07.27.11#13

Comment by HellTygr.

Yes, in your 20s, 8 years seems like a lot. In your 40s, like I am, 8 years is not a big deal.

Granted, it TOTALLY depends on the people involved. I hate to be the only one raining on the ‘go for it’ parade, but I have a good friend that has been seeing someone about that age difference for nearly 5 years (I can’t make that sentence read well grammatically, sorry). Anyway, he’s my friend, but I’d never date him myself on the basis that, any time he’s out socially without his girlfriend, he makes no secret of the fact that he’d much rather date a woman his own age, or preferably, younger.

Go for it, age is not an issue if the rest of the relationship is sound. If not, age very quickly becomes the excuse.

07.27.11#14

Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

Why, a younger man is apple pie: everyone will think that YOU are his age, or even younger!!! 😀 GO FOR IT!!!

07.27.11#15

Comment by Darthwiggie.

*Looks around* *cough* Yeah my boyfriend is TEN years younger than me – I’m 37. He looks older/I look younger. We fit really well together and have been dating for two years. He’s moving in next month! Aside from a little ribbing from his friends and mine (rawr Cougar Cub!) nobody really cares about our ages. (Uhm, hello Demi and Ashton).

It was a little rough getting around our major differences: I have two kids 12 and 9 and he has none, so being a mom and always busy was a problem for him. He likes to go out and drink til all hours, I’d rather be in bed or locked in the bathroom for some damn quiet time.

He’s an awesome communicator so we’ve worked through most of our issues. Since he’s not a serial killer, pervert or drug addict I can’t think of any reason why we should NOT date. He’s got his own company and his car is nicer than mine. Oh and he likes a lot of sex. So yeah, no reason any age difference should really matter.

🙂

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