22 Dec
Take Your Housewarming Gift and Shove It

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

We were invited over to meet our new neighbors for a housewarming, and brought a bottle of wine. Neighbor lady makes a face, tells us she doesn’t like wine, and sets it aside. Her husband forced it back into our hands as we left.

What’s the proper Mouthy Housewives response?

Signed,

We’ll Drink It

___________________________________________________

Dear We’ll Drink It,

Judging from their reaction, are you sure you didn’t also give your neighbor lady a new diaphragm? Or some K-Y Jelly? Or the Waterproof Jack Rabbit vibrator? (I know. Waterproof vibrators. The advancements in technology are amazing.)   Or some kind of other inappropriate gift?

Or possibly the wine had one of those clever, funny names like, “My Neighbors Can Suck It” or “Don’t Even Think of Painting That Fence Because It’s On My Property.”   That might explain such a strong reaction to a bottle of vino.

Or maybe they don’t drink. Even so, wine is the universal gift. They could have brought that bottle to their next dinner party and passed it on, spreading good wine karma throughout the world. Instead, they rudely shoved it back in your hands.

Clearly, these new neighbors are not going to be regulars at your weekly neighborhood Bunco & Sangria night so I would just let this go. Be cordial to them in person and suppress the desire to cover their car with decals from your local wine shop in the dead of night.   And be very grateful you didn’t have to waste a bottle of your favorite Two Buck Chuck on those bizarre people.

Cheers!

Kelcey, TMH

9 Responses to “Take Your Housewarming Gift and Shove It”

12.22.10#1

Comment by Wendi.

At least you now know the perfect place to dump all of your corks throughout the year.

12.22.10#2

Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

Maybe one of them or both had drinking problems in the past and just can’t have the stuff in the house, even to regift.

Just give them one more chance, before dumping them.

Cheers! 😀

12.22.10#3

Comment by From Belgium.

I agree with Dietwives, that or they are insane.
But shoving it back into your hands as you left was a little rude…

12.22.10#4

Comment by calliope.

Maybe they’re Mormon?
But the fact that one of them may have a drinking problem is a good point. Maybe try flowers next time?
If they shove those back at you you can hit them over the head with it with minimal damage.

k.m. Reply:

I don’t think it is a drinking problem thing. Former alcoholics know how to deal with this issue better than anyone. They constantly have to refuse alcohol and explain things politely. Former alcoholics don’t stop being polite. With that said, I do know several Christian fundamentalists who would react that way.

But look at the bright side, you got to keep the wine!!

12.22.10#5

Comment by StephanieG.

I think a bottle of Midol might have been a better gift.

12.22.10#6

Comment by JubanMama.

I’m sorry, but I have to call shenanigans on this one. Even if they were former alcoholics, there’s no reason to be so rude. I once brought a bottle of wine to my friend’s house for dinner – her family are Orthodox Jews. As I got in the car to go home my friend quietly handed me back my bottle and whispered, “Thanks, but this actually isn’t kosher, so we couldn’t open it.” THAT is how you handle a situation like that.

What these people did was just plain rude, and all it says about them is that they clearly lack good manners. I think it’s totally fine if you don’t want anything to do with them beyond the required “Hey,” now and again when you see them.

12.22.10#7

Comment by Obagi.

I definitely agree with you, @JubanMama. There is a respectful way to handle situations like these…

12.23.10#8

Comment by vodka tonic.

I will clear up the any alcoholic/religious considerations:
* They were both drinking beer during the shindig.
* They go to a Lutheran church.

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