05 May
Leaf On Me

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My neighbor blows all of his leaves into the street and then they wind up back in my yard. How can I get him to stop doing this?


Leafed Off In Boston


Dear Leafed Off,

Your question reminds me of what Thoreau once said about the beauty of a leaf. Do you know the quote I’m talking about? I really hope you do because I went to public school and was too busy learning how to roll a keg down ten flights of stairs to waste my time reading namby-pamby literature like that. Ah, college. Anyway, I seem to think what he said was, “When faced with the capriciousness of nature, one must realize the wisdom of living in a neighborhood with a militant homeowners association that’ll kick someone’s ass for violating certain bylaws. Yeah, bo-oyy.” Of course, I’m paraphrasing.

If you don’t have an HOA, there’s another thing you can try. First, knock on your neighbor’s door wearing nothing but a giant Hefty bag and a naughty smile, then tell him you’ll let him take the bag off of your quivering, naked body if he promises to fill it up with leaves. Problemo solvedeo, muchacha. (Note: Depending on the amount of trees in his yard, this may take some time. Be sure to bring along sunscreen, Gatorade and a few cans of bug repellent.)

Of course, if you’d rather not go that route, simply just go talk to the dude. Technically, he doesn’t have any control over his leaves once they hit the street, but maybe, in the spirit of neighborhood harmony, you can convince him to blow them into a mutually agreeable location where they can then be bagged up and hauled away. True, it’s not as exciting as a wild Hefty bag striptease, but then again, few things in life are.



Are TMH right? Leave a comment and let us know!

5 Responses to “Leaf On Me”


Comment by mpotter.

sounds about right to me.
people (me too) are so afraid to talk to others these days.

why is that, i wonder?
so we continue to appear “neighborly”?? all that gets you is a head nod as you pull into your driveway, anyway.


Comment by Suzanne.

Or blow your leaves into his yard…hopefully you have more trees and therefore more leaves, after which you can go knock on his door and say, “Annoying, isn’t it?!”


Comment by The Laughing Idiot.

Totally hysterical site & I can’t wait get some more solutions to those tricky everyday situations 🙂

I live in a neighborhood where the houses are only ten feet apart (maybe) so we’re kind of forced to be nice to each other. Otherwise, you would end up MISERABLE!

Quite honestly, I’m from the leaves-break-down-and-become-fertilizer school of though so I don’t do anything with my leaves. Easy to say since I only have two 4 year trees in my yard. I comment on this again in about five years or so – see if I feel the same.


Comment by Ann's Rants.

Just got back from the ER. Heat exhaustion. That dude chased me all around the neighborhood with his “leaf blower”

Plastic doesn’t breathe.


Comment by Moi.

..if I had a nickel for everytime I had to pull the ole’ hefty bag striptease on a neighbor…

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