07 Feb
OMG. Did My Neighbor See Me Naked?

Welcome to Guest Post Monday!  Today’s guest advisor is Rebecca Land Soodak, who I instantly fell in love with when she wrote my most favorite ever Craiglist ad.  Rebecca’s debut novel, Henny On the Couch,  (Grand Central) will be out Spring 2012. She lives with her husband and four children in New York City.  Rebecca’s work can also be found at http://rebeccalandsoodak.blogspot.com/ and http://rebeccalandsoodak.com/. – Marinka

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

We moved into our house a few months ago and didn’t have window treatments right away. I realized this only after I took a shower one night and my husband told me he could see me from outside. Unfortunately, I think (but I’m not sure) our across the street neighbor also saw me taking a shower a few times because he always acts really embarrassed and awkward around me. Should I bring it up or just live with this weirdness between us?

Signed,

Nudie Neighbor

_________________________________________________

Dear Nudie,

I, too, tend to confront awkward situations head on; however in this case, I encourage you to resist the urge. (And by encourage, I mean beg.) You see, for some people, talking actually makes an uncomfortable situation worse. (And by some people, I mean men.)   And if he’s already acting like a nervous teenager, a conversation will only fuel that fire.

But protecting Mr. Man from an awkward exchange is not my only concern. Words are powerful. Mentioning the faux pas could easily transform it into an inside joke. And in my opinion, intimate exchanges belong nowhere near neighbors.

In the meantime though, enjoy the mystery of not knowing whether he saw. (Or if he did-what he thought.) We married folk don’t often get the chance to feel the thrill of the unknown. I say, assume he not only witnessed your show (I mean shower) but he deeply appreciated the opportunity. Then take that titillating notion into your nuptial nirvana where it will serve you (and yours) well.

But back on planet earth-home of block parties and barbecues-behave like the little lady you are. Your hood and hubby will thank you. All you have to do is stand tall. Be proud. And remember, except for these damned clothes, we’re all just a bunch of bare-assed barbarians anyway. There’s really nothing gained in acknowledging it.

Sincerely,

Rebecca, Guest TMH

12 Responses to “OMG. Did My Neighbor See Me Naked?”

02.07.11#1

Comment by RandM.

So, You don’t have window treatments, and you didn’t think that people could see you? Really??????

02.07.11#2

Comment by Tracey - JustAnotherMommyBlog.

Wait. I’m supposed to have window treatments? See, this is the stuff I wish had been written down when I became “an adult” about 15 years ago. This petty stuff like “window treatments” and “heater filters” and “picking random bits of trash off my lawn so that the neighbors don’t talk about me behind my back.” Had I KNOWN, I would have just stayed at my parents’ house and sponged off of them.

Also, I am not so sure that I would WANT to know what the neighbor thought of me naked in the shower. I mean, who in their right mind sucks in their gut in the shower? And there ain’t nothin attractive about a regular woman bending over to shave her legs. It’s not like they show in the pornos. (Or so I’ve been told. Heh.)

02.07.11#3

Comment by Wendi.

Love the advice, Rebecca. You’re a natural.

And we have the type of windows in our house that make it hard to see inside in the daylight, but you can see everything at night if the lights are on. I always have to remember to close the blinds so I don’t star in a Suburban Peep Show.

Rlsoo Reply:

Thanks Wendi.
I’m not sure why I’m a natural because I rarely tell people what what to do.
Still, coming from you–I’m honored.

02.07.11#4

Comment by Plano Mom.

Great advice. Now to go get something on that french door in the back.

02.07.11#5

Comment by Kimberly.

My philosophy is “I don’t have any extra parts nobody has seen before”. These encounters usually bother everyone else more than me. I just hope they aren’t traumatized. And by hope, I mean keep quiet.

02.07.11#6

Comment by Megan (Best of Fates).

Um… just how many grown-up points do I lose my acknowledging I don’t know what are window treatments? I mean, is that a fancy word for curtains?

(I do so wish I was joking.)

Bean Reply:

Yup, fancy word for curtains or nything else you hang on your window is a window treatment – shades, curtains, drapes, valances, kids artwork…

02.07.11#7

Comment by StephanieG.

Maybe the neighbor is just socially awkward and actually didn’t get a glimpse at your lady bits?

I’m with Kimberly – I don’t have any stuff that other girls don’t have. In fact, I have more of most of the parts than most. If someone got a cheap thrill because he got a peek a time or two, that’s his issue, not mine.

BTW – that first sentence in the last paragraph made a lot more sense in my head than in ink.

02.08.11#8

Comment by Ellie.

“…we’re all just a bunch of bare-assed barbarians anyway.” I am going to carry that thought with me when I walk the dog in our neighborhood. Thank you for the laugh!

Rlsoo Reply:

Thanks Ellie! Nice to hear-seriously.

01.07.12#9

Comment by AlwaysRIGHT.

What’s so bad about allowing your neighbors to see you naked? I suspected my neighbors (the woman and her daughter) had watched me shower ( a guy) but never knew for sure until this winter when I saw their footprints in the snow by the bathroom window. I’m kinda flattered that they’d want to watch me shower. I hope they enjoy the show. Their footprints are evidence they do.

Consider Checking Out...