02 Aug
The Dog Stays in the Picture. And on the Bed

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I am in a serious romantic relationship with a man who is very wonderful.  Except he hates the fact that I let my dog sleep on my bed.  He says that it’s disgusting and that dogs are not clean and he wants her off the bed.

The problem is that my dog is 6 years old and the foot of my bed is her place to sleep. It doesn’t bother me at all, and I think it’s terrible to throw her out just because my boyfriend thinks it’s disgusting.  My boyfriend and I have discussed marriage, and we agree that’s where we’re heading, but this bugs me.  What do I do?

Signed,

Puppy Love

_________________________________________

Dear Puppy Love,

This is the precise reason why pre-marital sex is the root of all evil.  Because if you just held off inviting this man into your bed until you were lawfully wed, we wouldn’t be having this problem.  He would never suspect that you slept with a dog in your bed and by the time he joined you in the marital chamber, it would be too late for him to do anything about it.   Like, what, is he going to file for divorce over it?   Besides, once you married, you may have moved to his place, or a new place altogether, and then your dog would get so confused and disoriented that she wouldn’t care where she slept.  Problem solved!  But you had to have your fun, and now the barn door is open, the milk is free and we have ourselves a situation.

Assuming that you don’t want to resort to doggy actuarial tables, you have a few choices.

1. Compromise:  Have  designated dog-off-the-bed nights.  It may take your dog a while to get used to a new sleeping arrangement, but with proper reinforcement, she’ll master it.

2. Prevent grossness:  I don’t know where you live, but unless it’s somewhere that allows your dog to run through the meadows and return at the end of the days with paws smelling of crushed thyme and lavender, your boyfriend has a valid point.  Hose the dog down and scrub the paws until they smell less like the outdoors and more like Fritos.

3.  Be patient:  Chances are, over time your man and your dog will bond and he will welcome her into the bed.  Rent Old Yeller to expedite the bonding.

Good luck!

Marinka, TMH

17 Responses to “The Dog Stays in the Picture. And on the Bed”

08.02.10#1

Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

Well sweetie,I am totally with your boyfriend here: dogs ARE disgusting in a bed, they are dirty… Eurgh!!! I would sooner end a relationship than have a dog sleeping in the same bed as me!!!

MamaG Reply:

Eww I agree. We have two dogs, and we live in the desert. They love to frolic and roll in the dirt of our backyard which they also use as there dumping grounds. Although we scoop poop daily I find it disgusting to allow them to lay anywhere but there own beds. My husband disagrees and sometimes allows them onto our bed and our couches when I’m away for business. Besides being disgusting, if you let your animals have free reign over your house what happens when you have guests over? I’m not about to fight a 40lb dog off my furniture so my guests have a place to sit. Don’t start the bad habit and you won’t have to break one.

08.02.10#2

Comment by Ashlie- Mommycosm.

OK – let’s assume you keep your dog relatively clean.

I wouldn’t be able to sleep with a man who is THAT anti-dog. I just don’t trust people who don’t like dogs. Period.

I understand not wanting a peeping tom during certain moments in bed – but sleeping?

Seriously. You deserve a guy who will wash your dog if she does stink and welcome her up in the bed for sleeping. She has just as much a right to the bed as he does…more so because she lives there. Get yourself a king bed so there’s plenty of room. If your man cannot share – it’s a sign of things to come. Move on.

russell brown Reply:

I dont trust people who, the only significant relationship is with an animal. typically means they have serious issues with with control and communication.

08.02.10#3

Comment by Lisa.

I am very pro dog and I am anti-dog-sleeping-on-your-bed. I don’t know that I’d call it disgusting, but I would absolutely not share a bed with a dog. I’ve done it before and never again.

Not to mention, all the trainers say it’s a bad idea.

And the whole “get a king bed and they’ll be plenty of room to share” idea? I have to wonder if you’ve ever owned a dog or shared a bed with one. The dog still just wedges up against you.

08.02.10#4

Comment by Wendi.

The bigger question is how does the dog feel about having to sleep in the same bed as a dude?

08.02.10#5

Comment by ziggy.

We have our dogs with us when we get in bed, let them cuddle for a while, and then put them away when it’s time to go to sleep. They get annoying if they’re there all night.
But I agree, I just don’t trust a person who doesn’t love dogs…

08.02.10#6

Comment by Annmarie.

It starts out with him not wanting the dog to sleep on the bed, then he’ll not want the dog in the house. Next thing you know, he’ll have you living your very own Julia Roberts movie (Sleeping with the Enemy).

So I may be slightly prone to over reaction. I suppose talking to him about this & how it bugs you wouldn’t hurt.

08.02.10#7

Comment by Diana Lee.

Definitely a situation for a compromise. Our dog isn’t allowed to sleep in our bed every night per my husband’s request. I thought she’d lose her shit over it and be super sad, but she has adjusted just fine.

08.02.10#8

Comment by Bonnie Wienke.

No one could love their little fur baby like I do. I have a nine year old Maltese that goes everywhere with me. I took him to work everyday, trips to my children’s where I allowed him to terrorize their cats, and of course he slept in the bed every night.
I have just married a wonderful man. When I say the most wonderful, I am not exagerating. He too said “I am not sleeping with a dog” and I too bristled. Max slept in the bed a couple of nights but on his own accord jumped down and curled up on the rug. Problem solved by the dog! Do not even consider throwing away a great relationship with a wonderful man over a dog!

08.02.10#9

Comment by Christy.

I think the question is why marry a guy who doesn’t like dogs?! As a dog owner and lover I think a dog bed on the floor at the foot of your bed is a solution too…but not sure about the future of this relationship!

08.02.10#10

Comment by Plano Mom.

Compromise. And when you have to compromise, usually the one grossed out wins. You can’t argue with disgust.

And of course, if you give in quickly and willingly, he’ll eventually feel guilty and give in. Consider it a lesson in Guilt 101. You’ll need it for your kids.

08.02.10#11

Comment by dusty earth mother.

This is my very visceral response: Don’t marry a man who uses “dog” and “disgusting” in the same sentence. Dog lovers and dog unlovers don’t mix.

russell brown Reply:

your user name tells the story! nobody wants to be with a person who puts thier animals above them.

08.02.10#12

Comment by Susan Mallery.

Great laugh-out-loud advice! I posted a link to this on my Facebook page. My husband and I tried letting our dog sleep with us. We thought she would be small enough that we wouldn’t even notice. Size-wise, it worked fine. (She’s a toy poodle and only 6 pounds.) The problem was that every time we rolled over, she came up and licked our faces. She now has her own bedroom.

08.02.10#13

Comment by thepsychobabble.

Here’s the thing. I HATE sleeping with animals in the bed. IME, I wind up waking up to cat ass, or dog breath.
Not a good way to start the day.
Plus fur all over the place.
That being said, if the dog is clean, and if it TRULY stays on the end of the bed, I’d probably suck it up.

But, what about a doggy bed by your side of the bed? Would that be something that you and your pet could live with?

08.03.10#14

Comment by L.

We both love our dog, but he is not allowed to sleep on the bed. We tried it, but he took up most of the bed and shed like crazy. When we moved to a different house, we didn’t invite him to come on the bed and he never even tried. And we live happily ever after.

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