21 Dec
Stepmothers and Vibrators and Presents, Oh My!

Tis the season to be lazy, falala lala lala lala!   While I am off   eating bon bons and sipping champagne, please enjoy this post from back when I was a much younger Mouthy Housewife!

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Dear Mouthy Housewives,

Are real people giving each other vibrators as gifts now or is that only on “Sex & The City?” A friend of mine told me that she gave her stepdaughter a vibrator and I thought that was weird. But maybe I’m the weirdo?

Signed,

Morta Fied

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Dear Morta,

Of course it’s weird. Well, unless the stepdaugher is an adult, that is. Assuming that she is, the reason that you probably think it’s weird is that you’ve bought the Disney stepmother myth hook, line and sinker. Let me deDisneyfy you gently.

Prince Charming does not appear, if you’re asleep for days, you’re in a coma and stepmothers don’t  torture their stepdaughters and deny them access to the ball. Sometimes, they offer friendly advice, wisdom and yes, on occasion, a gift that vibrates. Of course it’s not always appropriate. If things are tense between you and your stepdaughter because you were just indicted for poisoning her father, for example, a vibrator doesn’t scream “wrongly accused!” as loudly as you may hope.

But if your stepdaughter is over eighteen and asks you for mature advice, it is perfectly acceptable to give the gift that keeps on giving. (Just to be clear, I’m referring to a vibrator, not herpes.)    Just make sure to hand it to her discretely and not as part of a Secret Santa exchange. And if you  do  want to give a vibrator but still stick with the Disney stepmother theme, just get one with burs.

Love,

Marinka, TMH

One Response to “Stepmothers and Vibrators and Presents, Oh My!”

01.19.10#1

Comment by mike.

Haha, i love your post. Not part of a secret santa exchange. Will remember that!

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