25 Oct
My Mom is a Blabbermouth

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I recently started a new job that is causing my family to move back to our home state. I packed up, took the two kiddos, rented an apartment, and started a new job all by myself. Hubby has been by my side the whole way helping make arrangements, helping me move, and helping me get the apartment together, but he won’t be able to transfer to his job in our new location until mid next month.

My mom mentioned how nice it would be when he gets here in a few short weeks. I spouted off “Yea, if it really happens. His boss hasn’t given us a date.” What I meant was – “His boss hasn’t given us a firm date and my husband still has to get the house ready to sell.” Apparently, she interpreted that as “You are having marital problems and you might get divorced.”   Now she is telling everyone that we are having marital problems and that he might not move.

I am trying to clean up her mess, but I really just want to strangle her.   What should I do?

Signed,

Can I Divorce My Mom?

________________________________________

Dear Divorce My Mom,

What we have here is a beast known as The Mother-Daughter Relationship.  The problem is not just that your mother misunderstood, it’s that she’s blabbing her misunderstanding to everyone.  As much as you are annoyed by her now, when your marriage is blissfully intact; you’d be thinking of torture schemes for her if you were indeed in the midst of marital woes.  Torture schemes that would involve forced marathon sessions of The View.  The Starr Jones episodes.

So, you can let her know that you do not appreciate her sharing your personal problems with the world.  Explain to her how hurt you are that she did not keep your confidence and encourage her to make it up to you with spa treatments or perhaps a larger than previously considered share in her estate.  If you’re feeling generous, let her know that your marriage is just fine and that she just misunderstood you.  But I would wait until her Will has been property notarized.

You may also want to have a general discussion with her about the English language and the art of casual exaggeration.  So that the next time you say “I could eat a horse!” she doesn’t call the local stable to put them on notice.

Sorry about your impending divorce.

Marinka, TMH

8 Responses to “My Mom is a Blabbermouth”

10.25.10#1

Comment by Mom again.

How does “his boss hasn’t given us a date.”. Turn into our marriage is failing? That is one screwed up Mom.

10.25.10#2

Comment by Mellowdee.

Long time reader. First time commenter.

I could *so* relate to this letter! If your mom is anything like mine, hopefully she has already developed a sound reputation among friends n’ relatives as one to blab uninformed nonsense, or make up complete fairy tales during weeks when gossip is slow. In which case, damage control shouldn’t be too bad, as people might think twice before playing a game of broken telephone with your so-called broken marriage.

I spent half my life getting pissed off with my mother’s ridiculous stories, and have tried confronting her to no avail. She just denies everything. I’ve had to accept that it’s just who she is. I’ve since started viewing her insane exaggerations as a source of entertainment and regularly quote her, misquoting me. My favourite line being, “Motherrrr, I don’t drink!” Good gawd! As if I’ve ever said that! 😉

Oh well, what can ya do? Best of luck!

10.25.10#3

Comment by Betty Herbert.

Oh dear. I also recognise a lot about my Mum in this. For this reason, I don’t tell her anything, even the most harmless of information. This leads to a whole different set of issues, though: particalarly our regular row over why I’m so terminally cagy. Sigh.

10.25.10#4

Comment by Cait.

If it makes you feel any better my mother has interpreted “I’m not seeing anyone” to mean “I am a lesbian and am hiding my various lovers throught the apartment. Don’t sit on the bed- you might squish one!” Then there was the holiday joy of “I think these pants are feeling a little snug” which of course she heard as “I’m pregnant. Quick, spread the news!” And I will never make the mistake of saying “I’m going to pass on the cheesecake because I’m lactose intolerant” as she told my best friend I really meant “I hate your cooking, you disgusting hag.” All of these translations were passed on to family, friends and her coworkers who believe her every single time…

Marinka, TMH Reply:

Please ask your mother to add me to her email distribution list.

10.25.10#5

Comment by GrandeMocha.

Anytime someone asks me,”Can you keep a secret?” I have to say no, not even if my life depends on it. Stuff slips out before I even think about it. Now I have FB & Twitter & I can blab faster & farther. Don’t tell a blabbermouth ANYTHING you don’t want the world to know. Don’t say anything in front of us, even as a joke.

10.25.10#6

Comment by StephanieG.

Way to own it, GrandeMocha!

I think all mother-daughter relationships would be better if we 1) knew our moms couldn’t keep a secret and 2) didn’t hold it against them.

Divorce, I suspect that your mom is a lot like mine. She “heard” what she heard, not what you said, and she was horribly disturbed by the news. Rather than deal with it on her own, she went old school and turned to friends, neighbors, and a few random people at Target to help her process her pain. There’s nothing like the Bridge Club, the Book Club, the girls at Sunday School, and that nice lady on aisle 9 to help a girl through a bad time.

Soon enough, hubs will be back with you, and you can tell her how much reunion sex you’re having. She will mis-hear, of course, and that will give her a new story to tell everyone. You know, about how her perfectly normal daughter married a nice guy, then turned into a total slut.

Good luck.

10.26.10#7

Comment by Plano Mom.

How wonderful that your mother loves you so much she is already out amassing your cadre of ex-husband bashing friends. You’re going to need the support for the custody battles.

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