Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I’ve turned over a new leaf and have been going to the gym, eating well, and generally adopting a healthy lifestyle. Recently, I thought I’d try a new class at the gym: boot camp. The problem is that the instructor is GORGEOUS! I think I’ll be too intimidated, or at least distracted, to get through a class. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I need some advice!
Wow! You had me at “new leaf ” and “healthy lifestyle”, then you lost me at “boot camp” and then you got me back at “extremely good looking.” I’m a wreck from riding that emotional roller coaster. But enough about me (for now).
Let’s get the preliminaries out of the way, and congratulate you for your commitment to healthy living. That’s fantastic and I’ve heard experts on TV say that it’s apparently good for you or something. So, good for you! Or something.
But sorry about the gorgeous instructor. Sometimes I think that really attractive people have no idea how annoying their good looks are to the rest of us.
Fortunately for you, I was also a boot camp cadet, so this advice comes with the wisdom borne of experience. So hear me when I share this nugget with you:
It does not matter what your instructor looks like, because the only part you will be seeing are his boots, while you’re doing pushups, running around with a tire or digging your own grave.
I was in a three week tour of duty with my boot camp and I’m pretty sure I couldn’t identify my sergeant in a line up. I know he yelled a lot and I wished things that I was pretty sure violated the Geneva Convention on him, but that’s where things ended. Because when someone responds to your adorable suggestion “what say we invade Gucci and get our hands on some of those purses?!” with a “twenty sit-ups” the details of their facial features tend to blur.
So, stick with the class. Get into fighting shape. And don’t hold Adonis’ DNA against him.