14 Aug
You Did What To the Couch?!!!! Alternate Title: How To Get Sunscreen Off Your Couch. Like Now.

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My son wrote all over the seats of my leather couch with a sunscreen stick for the face. Please help!!! How do I get it off?

Signed,

My Guests Don’t Need Sunscreen on their Asses

____________________________

My Guests Don’t Need Sunscreen on their Asses,

Wow. I bet that leather couch was pricey. But isn’t it nice to know that if your couch decides to go outside and get some fresh air, it is wearing a proper SPF? (Too soon to joke?)

I figured you were not the first person to have this problem, so I pulled out the old Encyclopedia Britannica and boy, did I find a variety of answers! How on earth did we all survive before we had a set of those encyclopedias at our fingertips?!

What I found out is there are a bunch of different techniques you can try…

One suggestion is to cover the area with baking soda which will apparently suck up the sunscreen. Leave on for 15 minutes and then use a wet towel to clean it off.

If this doesn’t work, swear fiercely (without your son in the room) and then go find your toothpaste. Any flavor, although I’ve always favored mint.  Put toothpaste over the area, let it sit for a few minutes and then scrub the toothpaste into the couch.  Wipe off with a wet towel.

Is there still a stain? Dammit. Well, come on, it was toothpaste.  You didn’t think that would really work, did you?!

Okay, now rub a few drops of dishwashing liquid into the spot. Wait one minute (the same length of time as your husband dedicates to foreplay) and then wipe off with a damp cloth or pantyhose. Of course, since it’s not 1986, you might not have a pair of spare pantyhose, so maybe just the cloth.

If none of this BS works, then apparently there are special degreasers you can buy especially for leather. And if all else fails, invest in a nice throw blanket. Please let us know what works because it’s just a matter of time before my son breaks into the sunscreen stash and tries this too.

Good luck,

Kelcey, TMH

8 Responses to “You Did What To the Couch?!!!! Alternate Title: How To Get Sunscreen Off Your Couch. Like Now.”

08.14.12#1

Comment by Ace.

dish soap gets everything out! …though I have never cleaned a leather couch 🙁 god luck, writer!

08.14.12#2

Comment by Cait.

Kicking the couch and verbally abusing it for tricking your innocent little darling into using a sunscreen stick on it might help, too.

08.14.12#3

Comment by Starle.

Am I the only one who finds it creepy that it doesn’t come off of leather? It is SKIN! Weird. Try sea water and sand.

Danielle Reply:

^ Funny post!

08.14.12#4

Comment by Lisa Rae @ smacksy.

Thanks goodness my pets only dry hump the couch – no stains yet!

08.14.12#5

Comment by Erin@MommyontheSpot.

Sunblock is a toughy – it has been known to stain my clothes. Which 1) doesn’t make sense because why would there be a product which needs to be worn by wriggly children that stain clothes, and 2) if it’s staining my clothes, what is it doing to my skin?

I digress – perhaps check out a slip cover?

08.15.12#6

Comment by kimberley bischof.

Yesterday while reading this post, it triggered a memory from a few weeks ago that was a couch related incident, nothing like yours but an incident none the less! You can check out the post I wrote over at funny not slutty, if you want: http://funnyfix.info/profiles/blogs/you-did-what-to-the-couch
Thanks for the inspiration!

08.04.13#7

Comment by Charlene.

I tried the baking soda, but it didn’t work. Next I tried dish liquid, and it worked perfectly. Leather couch looks good as new. Thanks for the practical advice.

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