Dear Mouthy Housewives,
How do you dump a so-called friend, who happens to live across the street, and who has shown signs of being a bit of a stalker for a few years now? Her child and my child are friends and I do not want to involve the children.
Won’t You Stop Being My Neighbor?
Dear Won’t You Stop Being My Neighbor,
Why do I get the feeling you are leaving out some really juicy details? Did you start out fast friends, and she started getting on your nerves? Is she actually watching your every move and popping up out of the bushes every time you open your front door? Is she passing off your signature recipe as her own at the annual block party? Or has she cut her hair to look like yours and sneaked into your bedroom at night and pretended to you be you while snuggling up to your husband?
I’m going to have to assume that whatever this woman is doing that you qualify as “stalker” behavior is more along the lines of a Real Housewives-esque situation of wanting to “wear you like last year’s Versace.” After all, if she was truly a threat to you or your family, you probably wouldn’t want your kid staying friends with her kid, right?
So, my advice is to make like an ice cube and chill. If your kids are young, and you still need to be involved in arranging play dates, be cordial, but maybe a little frosty. Don’t make plans that involve just the two of you hanging out together. I don’t think there’s a way to full-on “dump” this woman without it affecting your kids’ friendship. On the other hand, you could always move.