19 Mar
The Godmother’s Gift

Today one of our favorites mommies, Anymommy, is guest Mouthy Housewifing for us.  If you don’t know Stacey, you’re in for a real treat!  And if you do know Stacey, you’ve long stopped reading this introduction, and are now enjoying her guest post!

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I don’t have kids, so I’m turning to you.   A close friend recently told me that when I visit her daughter, my goddaughter, and bring her a present, I should bring a small present for her older sister too.   (They are 8 and 5).   My friend was very uncomfortable telling me this and reassured me that she didn’t think that I should get either girl a gift, but if I decide to give one to my goddaughter, then I should think of her sister, too.

What do you think?

Signed,

Godmother to the Masses

______________________________________

Dear Godmother to the Masses,

I certainly see your point.   It’s not your fault that your friend picked a crappy godmother for her older child.   Why should you have to pick up the slack for the stingy godmother?   It’s not like you can just wave your wand and turn mice into presents.   Besides, that will teach that kid to be born first.   We can’t really blame your friend either, she is a victim of these equality for all, socialist times.   No one fails!   All godmothers are created equal, comrades!   She just wants every thing to be fair for her daughters to foster togetherness and discourage sibling rivalry.   As a mother of four, I disagree with that philosophy.   Things aren’t always fair, sometimes people lose and kids don’t always get equally awesome godmothers.   Your friend’s desire to keep things equal for her girls may back fire horribly in ten years when your fifteen-year-old goddaughter is prettier than her sister and her super cute seventeen-year-old boyfriend refuses to take older sister along to the ball.   You could tell your friend that you disagree, fundamentally, with her parenting philosophy, because parents LOVE to be told by someone without kids that they are doing it wrong.   But, you did call her a “close” friend, I am guessing that you’d like her to continue to speak to you.

In that case, here’s what you should do.   Follow your friend’s suggestion and don’t bring a gift at all when you visit.   Kids have way too much crap anyway.   Trust me on this.   There are plenty of occasions for spoiling your goddaughter without ignoring her older sister.   Her birthday. Graduation. Marriage.   For now, give her the gift of your time.

Stacey,  Guest TMH

9 Responses to “The Godmother’s Gift”

03.19.10#1

Comment by hokgardner.

Amen. My m-i-l insists on giving all the kids presents on each child’s birthday, which is alien to me. Growing up, my sister and I viewed our birthdays as the one day we could be queen bee of the house and not have to share.

Now, thanks to my m-i-l, who would cry if I told her ever so nicely to knock it off, my kids aren’t learning that some days are special for their siblings and they just have to deal with it.

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03.19.10#2

Comment by Amy @ The Bitchin' Wives Club.

Great advice! That is how I’d deal with it, too. Only, I’d probably be the crappy godmother who never sends or gives presents anyway. Sigh. On the up-side, all my siblings and most friends have rejected religion so I don’t have to worry about it!!

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03.19.10#3

Comment by AmazingGreis.

My friend saved us all from this dilemma when she made me the Godmother to BOTH of her children. They are both spoiled equally as much. I don’t have kids of my own, but I’m a rockin’ Godmother!!

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03.19.10#4

Comment by kmdguerra.

Well played, Stacey…kids do NOT need more crap. Maybe more sugar…now THERE’S a gift..take both girls, load ‘em up with tons of sugar and then send them back to mom. Then when she bitches about that, you can tell her that it just wasn’t fair to only give ONE of them all the sugar. Mwahahaha!

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Amy Reply:

Heh.. I’m liking this response too!

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03.19.10#5

Comment by K-Line.

Excellent response. That’s totally what I’d recommend!

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03.19.10#6

Comment by Rachel.

I would restrict gifts to any child to their birthdays and Christmas/Hanukkah. On their birthday, only the birthday girl should get presents anyway (kids should be taught early on that a birthday “their” holiday when it is their birthday and to be happy for their sibling when it was theirs.) and on Christmas/Hanukkah if you want to get your goddaughter a bigger gift than that is your choice but I think it would be appropriate to give both girls a gift even if it is a small one.

And maybe the older girl’s godmother isn’t a deadbeat–maybe your friend is overly concerned with what is “fair”. In either case, restricting presents to birthdays & Christmas/Hanukkah is the perfect solution.

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03.20.10#7

Comment by justmakingourway.

“Kids have way too much crap anyway.”

SO true! Perfect solution.

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03.21.10#8

Comment by amy.

My god parents were/are the best. My aunt would put SO much effort into my Christmas gift, I always made sure it was the one I opened Christmas Eve. (Family tradition). It wasn’t that she spent heaps of money but that she did her homework and always sent something so totally desired each and every year. Like the year I got home from a grade 7 dance to which we played the “Saturday Night Fever” record. I so totally wanted that album. And so I got it a few days later from my aunt and uncle, opened of course on Christmas Eve :)

Come from a ‘formerly’ Catholic family where all 6 of us kids had set of God Parents. Tradition was (big Italian family) that the God Child would get a gift as opposed to buying gifts for everyone’s equally large family.
(Gifts were only given for Christmas btw).

Thanks for reminding me of the pleasure my late aunt gave me each and every Christmas as a child. It was wonderful to be singled out and so treasured. She was such a wonderful woman. May your God Child think of you with the same warmth I did to mine, and still do.

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