23 Mar
Please No Bouncing Here

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My daughter has been asking for a trampoline for her birthday and my husband is seriously thinking about it. I have made my feelings very clear about not wanting one for a number of reasons.

First, my daughter has sprained both ankles this past year alone, once by tripping on a soccer ball. This poor child can barely walk without hurting herself. Second, I have seen her older brother and his friends on other trampolines. It’s amazing that someone has not gotten seriously hurt. Third, we have spent a boatload of money landscaping our yard and installing sprinklers. I’d like to see the grass we’ve paid dearly for and not some big trampoline.

Lastly, and most importantly, I do not want this trampoline to become the kid magnet I expect it to be. I have a hard enough time with the neighborhood urchins knocking at my door looking for my kids to play. I don’t need to run the risk of them conveniently showing up when my kids are on the trampoline.

How can I convince my thick husband to honor my wishes?

Signed,

Don’t You Just Want an iPad for Your Birthday?

_____________________________

Dear DYJWIYB,

I believe in full disclosure in the blogosphere so I want you to know that I have a trampoline and oh my god do I love it. I grew up with one. You know, one of those trampolines that had no padding and no protective net. Just rusty metal corners and a crap load of bounce.   And after 2 years of chiropractic work, my back feels just fine.

I have such fond memories of trampolining (despite that pesky back problem) that when I recently moved to the suburbs, I knew one was in my future – especially because they are a whole lot safer now.   I spend a lot of the day on that thing with my girls (age 6 and 4). And I get exercise at the same time.   Plus, it’s really like a big outdoor playpen. My kids are happy and my house is clean.

But let me honestly address all of your concerns…

1. Your daughter will at some point probably hurt herself on the trampoline.

2. Her older brother and his friends will probably injure themselves too. Put “severely” in front of “injure” if there is drinking involved.

3. If your lawn is a diameter of 12 feet (the size of your average trampoline), you will not see it.

4. Everyone you’ve ever known within 15 miles will stop by to do some jumping.

Clearly, your concerns are valid.   And most importantly, this is how you feel. And your husband should honor that. It shouldn’t be HIS decision. It should be your decision together and right now you’re not comfortable with it.

If you need a little back-up, many home ownership insurance policies won’t cover you if you have a trampoline so a quick call might solve your problem. Plus tell that thick lovable man that the Mouthy Housewives are in your corner.   He needs to let this go.

Signed,

Kelcey, TMH

15 Responses to “Please No Bouncing Here”

03.23.11#1

Comment by sheabyshea.

If you end up getting one, make sure you get one with the netting around it, my daughter bounced off her friend’s and hit the metal frame around the edge and cracked her jaw bone. Not only was it very painful for my child but it was very expensive to have repaired and it has had to be re-repaired three times now, over a four year period as she also plays soccer and has been hit in the face with the ball and had it re-cracked. Once the bone is fractured it remains weak especially in a growing adolescent.

03.23.11#2

Comment by StephanieG.

If putting in a trampoline would guarantee that all the neighborhood kids would be at my house, where they can be supervised, rather than God knows where doing God knows what, I would have one installed today. I have a big yard. I might actually install two! Believe me, the kids who play at home with their friends get into a helluva lot less trouble.

And kids who are comfortable bringing their friends around when they are little are much more likely to be comfortable doing it when they are older. Show me a father of a teenage girl who doesn’t wish he knew his daughters friends more, and I’ll show you a man who is mad at his wife for not letting him put a trampoline in when she was little. I’m just saying.

Your safety concerns are perfectly valid. Just make it as safe for the kids as you can and hope that regular physical activity helps your daughter grow out of her awkward stage.

As for the landscaping? I will take supervised children who are happy at my house over beautiful St. Augustine and spring color any day of the week.

Plano Mom Reply:

I am nowhere near fair and unprejudiced about this. My Dad’s been a doctor for the last 60 years, and his two-word comment about trampolines?

“Death Trap”

He claims he has treated more serious injuries from trampolining than any other sport or activity available. He tells me this after my daughter gets a (minor) head injury from falling off a trampoline onto grass.

So, while I agree with Stephanie G that I’d much rather have all the kids over at my house where I can watch them and meet them, I can’t go there with a trampoline. Unless of course I can make them all wear helmets.

Plano Mom Reply:

And I meant to comment, not reply. Oops.

03.23.11#3

Comment by GrandeMocha.

Our pediatrician said, “No trampoline!” He didn’t say anything about the downhill skiing, water skiing, tree house, bike riding in the street, etc. I think that speaks volumes.

03.23.11#4

Comment by Marinka.

My back started to hurt just reading this question. Can’t the family just get a saber tooth tiger as a pet instead?

03.23.11#5

Comment by Brittany {Mommy Words}.

Okay I don’t even have a funny retort but I did love Marinkas. I am not cool with trampolines. The risk of serious injury including spinal cord injuriesand even death is so high that the AAP warns parents not to have them in the home. I is too hard to monitor the activity and really only one child should ever be a trampoline at a time so at has made my kids a little less interested in juming on my neighbors, which they are not allowed to do. Also, like said above many insurance companies will not cover homes with a trampoline so that ould get you off the hook on this one. Good luck!

03.23.11#6

Comment by Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up).

The only people I know with a trampoline have an Orthopedic surgeon as the dad. Trust me, that’s come in handy.

In my family we have had 16 broken bones between three kids. We did NOT have a trampoline….I can’t even imagine that Child Protective Services wouldn’t have arrested me if we did though.

03.23.11#7

Comment by Catootes.

After waiting a loooong time, we finally got the much coveted trampoline, without net, two years ago.

My kids, and their friends, spend hours on that thing. We’re watchful, there is no trampolining without one of us near by and no more than three on it at a time. So far, no injuries. Of course now that I wrote that, I’m probably screwed.

I find my son’s penchant for jumping his bike over concrete and metal far more dangerous than the use of the trampoline.

But I can’t get Geico Homeowners insurance with the damn thing in my yard. Isn’t that discrimination?

03.23.11#8

Comment by N and Em's mom.

I see through the husband’s ruse. He wants to be the good guy. Call his bluff! In a super-sweet voice, tell him that you’ve reconsidered and all he is to do is call the insurance company to get the extra rider, go online and research which trampolines are safest, get basic first aid certification through the red cross so he can treat injuries until the paramedics arrive, and promise to supervise the kids. No dad- no jumping. At least he’ll have the insurance agent to throw under the bus instead of his wife if he takes the first step. By the way, my husband is a paramedic who loves trampolines- job security!

03.23.11#9

Comment by dusty earth mother.

Oooh, I love N and Em’s Mom’s (punctuation?) response. And I just have to say that any post that has the phrases “urchin” and “saber tooth tiger” in it makes me verbally happy.

03.23.11#10

Comment by Kimberly.

My best friend is an emergency room nurse. They see kids with serious injuries one after another every day from trampolines. Serious as in broken back, broken neck, leg bone completely snapped, paralyzation types of injuries. Just say the word trampoline around her and she turns red with fury.

I’ve never been on one. Looks like a snooze fest to me.

03.23.11#11

Comment by Wendi.

I just went to a class called Cardiolates where you jump on a mini-tramp while doing arm weights.

That doesn’t really help you, I guess.

03.23.11#12

Comment by Diane.

I’m a converted NO-TRAMPS-IN-MY-YARD woman. My mom bought one for my 4 kids weeks before I started treatment for breast cancer 2 years ago and I must say, the worst thing we have had is a few bumped heads. We actually have had worse scuffles in the tackle football games in the front yard. We live on a corner and both the trampoline and front yard are a great magnet for kids and outdoor play. We do have a net and have instituted a very strict ‘no flips’ policy. And it has been enforced without incident for more than 2 years. And let me tell you – there have been many many many kids on it at one time. My kids camp out on it at spring break, take the hose on for hot weather days, and on the rare occasion we have snow – have snowball fights. The trampoline has provided hours of fun for all of my kids and friends. The real question for me – why didn’t I get one sooner?(I was not paid for this trampoline endorsement.)

03.24.11#13

Comment by Tramp.

I grew up with a trampoline. Oh the fond memories! Never had a serious injury in all the years we owned it. I will most certainly get one for my son when he’s old enough. Don’t deny your child the joy of flinging themselves into space!

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