06 May
One Bad Ass M—O—T—H—E—R

“M” is for the million things she gave me

(Like life—that was a good one.)

“O” means only that she’s growing old

(NEVER say that again. NEVER. We can’t emphasize that enough.)

“T” is for the tears she shed to save me

(That wasn’t a tear when she was pulling you out of the toilet. It was sweat.)

“H” is for her heart of purest gold

(Purest platinum, please? Gold is too ’80s.)

“E” is for her eyes, with love light-shining,

(That’s not love that’s makin’ ’em shine. It’s chardonnay, baby.)

“R” means right and right she’ll always be

(Damn straight, mofo.)

Put them all together, they spell “MOTHER”

(Really? Not “Kardashian”?)

A word that means the world to me!

(And to us, too! Happy Mother’s Day to all of you from TMH!)



15 Responses to “One Bad Ass M—O—T—H—E—R”


Comment by The Flying Chalupa.

Dear Mouthies,
You are so sweet to think of me on Mother’s Day. And really, it doesn’t have to be platinum. Gold works too. I’m easy that way.
Thank you and Happy Eternally Young Mother’s Day!


Comment by Diane.

Right backatcha, to the Amazing MHWs! Still waiting for the web production, though, ala ‘In the Motherhood’ for your next step into commercial Youtube greatness. Have a special day – all of you!


Comment by Minivan Mama.

Word! (I feel dorky for writing that, but I’ll leave it anyways)

Happy Mother’s Day. Love your bad ass poem!


Comment by Heather.

Is platinum more valuable in the stock market than gold? This mama is thinking of her retirement fund, you know.


Comment by Kati.

Perfect! I was looking for something touching to put on the Mothers day crafts with the kids at children’s church, I think I’ve just struck platinum!


Comment by annie.

Awww…you ladies are so sweet! I think I feel a chardonnay filled tear coming on. Happy Mother’s Day MHW chicks!


Comment by Mother’s Day Card Warning.

[…] And if you’re not sure what to get the special lady in your life for Mother’s Day, you really can’t go wrong with this masterpiece! […]

[WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The comment’s server IP ( doesn’t match the comment’s URL host IP ( and so is spam.


Comment by tracy.

Happy Mother’s Day. Much Love!


Comment by StephanieG.

There once was this mom from Nantucket….

Oh wait! Wrong blog.

Thank you for your sweet wishes, Mouthy Housewives, and many happy wishes for a great Mother’s Day for you and the ones you love.

Lady Steele


Comment by Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac.

I feel so loved. And understood.
Thanks ladies, and happy day to y’all too!


Comment by Ann's Rants.

I thought this was genuine until the third line.

Dear God I need to shut this thing down.

(Computer–not Mom)


Comment by dusty earth mother.

That’s some funny po-tree. Happy M Day, you crazy muthas.


Comment by Minka.

M(ore like this, please)
o(ther blogs pale in comparison)
T(otally not true, okay, somewhat not true, I’m just kissing up, as there is some other really good shit out there, but you guys seriously rock)
H(ow are you so consistently funny and clever? My endeavors to be so are utterly exhausting…)
E(mpowering to read you guys, yet also weirdly intimidating. My shrink was right, I need to stop being so fucking insecure!)
R(eally though, I love your blog, and I hope you guys — shouldn’t that be “gals” instead?, oh the confusion!, is nothing easy?? — maybe I should just say ass-kicking bitches — have a day as fantastic as you are!)


Comment by kelcey.



Comment by Motherhood in Six Words | The Mouthy Housewives.

[…] Mother’s Day is this weekend and The Mouthy Housewives want to take a moment to honor all the mothers out there with a little tribute, so we’ve asked our favorite bloggers to describe motherhood in six words. Here are the beautiful things they had to say: […]

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