23 Aug
My Teenage Son is a Drama Queen!

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

How can my 13-year-old son live through his raging hormones phase? Everything is so dramatic, extremely negative, and lately it has also been directed at me as part of the broken system. He can be very effective at his disdain for the world, and I find myself losing my patience and raising my voice as well. I do know that this will pass, and I already see some of the wonderful friend he is going to become, but I need some helpful instant-time-out ideas for shutting down the drama, when your baby boy is six inches taller than you.

Signed,

I can’t believe I thought my girl would be the hardest

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Dear ICBITMGWBTH,

Call me crazy, but the first thing that came to mind was Jeff VanVonderen of Intervention. Does your son also happen to have a raging alcohol or substance abuse problem? Because that would make things easier for me. We could chalk his outbursts up to “noise,” give him an ultimatum, and call it a day.

No, you say? Fine.

I think, when it comes to negative behavior, we can follow some basic ground rules from age 1 to 100:

1. Ignore
2. Redirect
3. Drink

Engaging in an argument with your son will only validate that what he’s going on about is worth a fight. If he’s not willing to talk about it civilly, you tell him that you’re ready to speak calmly when he is. Then you just leave the room. Start vacuuming. Plug your ears and sing LALALALALA! Whatever works. You can also try filling his spare time with more physical activities. This will not only help to relieve some of that anger he’s feeling, but it can also be a great time to get him talking. Boys and men tend to open up a bit more when they’re doing something. Perhaps avoid striking up a conversation while he’s in the bathroom, however.

You can also try to do some detective work if you feel that your son’s social or academic life is giving him trouble. Talk with teachers, friends’ parents, and any local fortune tellers. You never know!

If all else fails, see if you can get him to open up to a male figure in the family. And cut yourself some slack. As you said, you’ll survive this. Wine helps.

Godspeed,

Kristine, TMH

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5 Responses to “My Teenage Son is a Drama Queen!”

08.23.12#1

Comment by Mrs_AMA.

Interesting question about the teen boy. My son (my youngest) is turning 12 next week and I’m not sure what to expect thru the hormonal years. Being female, it is easier to understand my girls. I plan to be as patient as tolerable. Good advice given. I will continue to watch Twitter for your teen Q&As. Thank you.

08.23.12#2

Comment by MomofTeens.

Oh Honey… as a mom of a 14yr old son who is 6 inches taller than me, 13 is the toughest, most annoying, most aggravating ages for boys. Seriously, hormones are raging, bodies are changing rapidly and hot damn, there is no slowing the puberty train down at this point.

Get him involved with groups, camps, clubs, something that will take up his spare time so he has less time for drama, and is more concerned about what he has to do next.

Or deflect his behavior and simply say “when you are ready to have a reasonable, and respectful conversation, let me know. Until then, you need to go think things through by yourself, somewhere else.” With my son, when I told him to basically go away he figured out that he needed to stop with the extra drama and get down to what was really wrong/going on/happening/etc.

08.23.12#3

Comment by IJUSTdid this.

My son just turned 14 last month and I have to say, I was unprepared for the emotional roller coster that was 13/8th grade. They are top of the food chain at school that year, they are becoming interested in the opposite sex in earnest, their bodies are changing DAILY and the hormones truely do lead them from one emotion to the next in a matter of seconds. My son would be laughing maniacally one minute and crying the next. Here is the good news: it doesn’t last forever. I took the bait more often than I should have, but really the best thing that works is to be consistent in your own behavior. (and try really hard not to laugh when they are being ridiculous but completely earnest in their outrage). This too shall pass. Hang in there!

08.24.12#4

Comment by Cate8.

Don’t worry my baby boy is 18 and entering his senior year. I always said he would be a perfect ‘only child’…Not so easy in a family with 8 kids.
Now he is a man… and he has had two ‘fathers’ desert him and yet I am so proud. It gets better… and yes I have 2 sons… 6 girls! Pray for me 😉

08.31.12#5

Comment by Plano Mom.

Thanks ladies, I think this one was my question. My memory is shot from all the effort to remain consistent through the drama. This is great advice, especially the part about telling him to go away and calm down. That works, as long as I can get through at least two “no I won’t” rebuttals. Now that school has started again, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it looks a lot like an empty nest…

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