Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My six-year-old son recently started taking a book to the bathroom with him. (“Diary of a Wimpy Kid”.) Personally, I find the reading-in-the-bathroom habit disgusting. Isn’t the couch more comfortable for reading? Do I nip this in the bud, or will my telling him that the toilet is not for reading be added to the great list of “ways my mother ruined my life?”
It’s a Loo, Not a Library
Dear It’s A Loo,
Do you hear that buzzing sound in the background? The one that’s rapidly getting louder? The one that’s about to reach a Def Leppard-concert-circa-1988 decibel level? The one that’s just about the world’s entire population of mothers screaming in unison:
WHO THE HELL CARES WHERE YOUR SON READS
AS LONG AS HE’S READING!?!?
Yeah, that one. Hurts the ears a little, don’t it?
Now, delicate flower that I am, I’m also not a huge proponent of taking books into the loo. It’s all so very Constanza and God knows what might happen should the reader run out of toilet paper. Shiver. But just like you should never interrupt a man who’s loading a dishwasher, you should also never, ever stop a kid from reading no matter where they’re doing it. Tis a sacred moment between child and words. I think it says so in the Bible.
Anyway, for whatever reason, your son has picked the potty as his literature milieu, so I say let him keep doing it. As long as he’s not flushing every time he finishes a chapter or making you sit in there with him while he does a Number Two and discusses plot points, there’s not much harm in it. Just be proud of him for taking an interest in something that’s not electronic.
That said, let’s all hope this habit doesn’t continue into his adulthood. After all, we’ve all worked in offices where the men “disappear” into the bathroom with the newspaper for hours at a time and then when they come out, nobody wants to sit next to them in a meeting. We used to call them “The Johns.” They didn’t really like it.
So suck it up and deal with it, Mom, because when all’s said and done, you should be happy. Because while your kid may be reading in the crapper, his literacy level’s nowhere near it.