27 Jun
My Babysitter’s More Mary Poopins Than Mary Poppins

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My in-laws watch my daughter a few days a week while I work. My mother-in-law is a bit of a whacka-doo, but deep down a good person who just happens to drive me crazy. Yesterday she told me that she had my 1 year old daughter on her lap doing a “horsey ride” while she was taking a dump. Really?! Really?! You have got to be f*ing kidding me lady. Is that situation at all sanitary (I’m a bit of a germ-a-phobe)? I’m usually outspoken, but I was completely speechless and just left pissed off. Should I have said something? Is that possible to do without being offensive? Help!

Signed,

Stunned

_______________

Dear Stunned,

Um…

Errr….

Ahh…..

(Wendi wipes sweat off her brow and tries to quell her waves of nausea with an old Thin Mint cookie she just found under her worktable.) (It’s totally not working.)

POOPING WHILE YOU HOLD YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER
IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Didn’t think I’d be saying that sentence when I woke up this morning, did I? But let’s recap: Your MIL was playing Horsey with your baby while she (the MIL) had a bowel movement. Then she had the friggin’ balls to TELL you about it? I do believe she’s just entered the annals of The Mouthy Housewives Mothers-In-Law From Hell, Volume 2.

I mean, I understand that watching a baby is tough and that you can’t always get away for “personal business,” but that’s why Graco invented Pack ‘n Plays, right? I would think your MIL could have just waited until the baby was asleep to do her #2, and if she for some reason couldn’t wait, then maybe she should be in diapers, too. Yikes.

However, here’s the thing: she’s your MIL. She’s your babysitter. And for those reasons, she totally owns you. Meaning, don’t make a stink. (See what I did right there? STINK!?) Unless this or something even weirder happens again, I’d just wince and bear it. She loves your baby and, in her eyes, she didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, she’s probably proud of her multi-tasking.   So I say, let it go and be sure to dip your baby in Purell when you get her home, just for good measure.

That said, maybe I’m wrong (for once) and you actually should confront her and explain your boundaries. What do all y’all think? Let us know in the comments—we’re all ears.

Good luck,

Wendi, TMH

 

19 Responses to “My Babysitter’s More Mary Poopins Than Mary Poppins”

06.27.11#1

Comment by Sally.

I understand your disgust, but I agree, unnless she does something even wierder and/or truely endangers your baby, let it go. She loves your baby and wouldn’t really do anything she thinks would hurt her. As a mother of a grown-up baby, rest assured your baby will get herself into many more gross and germy things all by herself in the years to come.

06.27.11#2

Comment by Cate8.

sounds like something my mother would do. geesh….
as a grandmother myself I try extremely hard to not offend my daughter (she has 3 of my grandbabies) I will send her this one….it’ll send her over the edge..LOL but she has enough issues with her own M I L

06.27.11#3

Comment by Marinka.

The problem is that the MIL doesn’t realize that she did anything wrong. What’s worse, she’s proud of it. Which means that her judgment is crap.

If playing horsey while defecating is ok, what else is ok? I think Stunned needs to have a conversation with her husband and then speak to the MIL about issues such as boundaries and OMFG things that are disgusting and unacceptable.

06.27.11#4

Comment by alexcampbell11.

That is beyond nasty!!

06.27.11#5

Comment by Kati.

I just…can’t. I can’t.
What the …?????

I don’t know enough words to convey the utter nastiness of that. It’s completely disgrossting!

06.27.11#6

Comment by Becky.

Oh crap. Literally.

06.27.11#7

Comment by Plano Mom.

It is possible she told you because she was a little bit uncomfortable with it, but possibly felt like it was her only choice? I’m just saying that perhaps she wasn’t proud, but just sounding her out?

If she’s a little bit wacko like you say, then perhaps she’s aware that her thoughts aren’t quite this side of what everyone would think was okay.

In that case, perhaps it would be appropriate and acceptable to say something like, “Ooo, when I first think about that I think ‘Yuk’ but I’m sure you washed both pairs of hands when you were finished.”

Just assume the best of intentions, but admit your uneasiness. If she pooh-poohs (sorry!) your concern, then you have a real concern.

06.27.11#8

Comment by Karin.

I’m not sure that you MIL was completely wrong. I know I find it hard to go with a screaming baby – or worse: a little one who can get out of the pack-n-play/crib and into everything while I’m not watching like a hawk. I know all my kids and my niece have come into the bathroom with me when they were that age b/c it was safer. and I know holding it until nap-time isn’t always an option (I get cranky and impatient, not to mention antsy – what a great caregiver I would make under those circumstances). We always washed hands when “we” were done (and my kids are still fantastic about washing hands) and I felt like it gave the kids a good introduction to the use of the bathroom.

I agree with Plano Mom – she’s probably not all-together comfortable with the idea and told you to calm her nerves a bit. Get comfortable with the idea or find a non-family sitter.

06.27.11#9

Comment by noordinarymomma.

wha?!?! i really think this is some type of misunderstanding. it is impossible to bear down while bouncing your leg frantically with a 25 pound weight. is it possible she meant that she was playing horsey while the baby was taking a dump?

ladycoles Reply:

I have to agree with noordinarymomma, I thought she meant while baby did her business. Which I found weird but not appalling. However the other, not ideal but kids being around a bathroom is inevitable. I think there are just some things everyone will do differently and as long as not harmful then it’s not worth it.

06.27.11#10

Comment by Tonya.

I think Karin has a good point and I know I took my son into the bathroom with me when I had to go – the kid could Houdini his way out of anything – I just never shared it. Perhaps, I should use this as party conversation next time?
I also agree with Marinka, you should speak to your husband about it and gets his view and see if he can talk with his mother.

06.27.11#11

Comment by thepsychobabble.

I’ve taken both kids in the bathroom with me when they were in their “Let’s destroy everything! Nothing can contain us!” phase.
Sometimes it just can’t be held until later. And I’m pretty sure I don’t need diapers.
Weird? Yeah, I’ll give you that one.
OMG WTF BBQ Awful? Eh, I’m not so convinced.

06.27.11#12

Comment by dusty earth mother.

Weird, yes. But at least she wasn’t in there taking a dump while the baby was drinking Drano in the kitchen, right?

06.28.11#13

Comment by N and Em's mom.

I’m with the last two Comments. The weird part is sharing.

06.28.11#14

Comment by olliesma.

seriously?this is an issue worth writing about? I think Stunned needs some perspective! Her MIL finished her childrearing long ago, yet is prepared to sacrifice her time to love, dote on and regularly mind her grandkid whilst she goes to work? how lucky is that?there is absolutely nothing dangerous about her actions-if anything a far safer option then leaving her unattended!as a mum of a toddler I always go to the loo with the door open if I’m alone so I can hear/see/run to him if necessary, quite frequently he will clamber on to my lap for a cuddle and i’ll be damned if I’m going to shoo him away because of some snobby, ill-informed assumption that its a ‘dirty habit’. My toilet is pristine, we wash hands etc-this will endanger his life no more than playing at the park. Get over it and be glad u have a MIL prepared to give up the joy of a private poo in order to entertain your baby. No offence.

MJ Reply:

I am with you… Actually at first I thought, “who cares” until I realized that who was the one “taking a dump” but really… who hasn’t played horsey while pooing?

06.28.11#15

Comment by I'm a big ol' b with a captial B!.

Agreed with the last four comments. Taking the baby to the bathroom so the baby is well supervised? I’ll gladly take it over chewing on the extension cord.

The weird part is sharing.

07.01.11#16

Comment by Lisa.

I am stunned that anyone who has actually parented a child can be freaked out by a bathroom story. Really? Isn’t the standard comeback to the working parent/spouse, “Yeah, but at least you get to go to the bathroom by yourself!”

I haven’t gone tomthe bathroom by myself in years. That I could take. Now that my kid praises me for it, well, that is enough to drive me around the bend.

07.05.11#17

Comment by FabMom5.

That is just gross and weird on so many levels

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