23 Nov
My 10 Year-Old Wants to See New Moon

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My 10 year-old daughter is begging me to see “New Moon.”   It’s rated PG-13, but is there any reason that I shouldn’t let her? She says that all her friends have already seen it and she feels left out.

Signed,
Old Mom

_________________________

Dear Old Mom,

Well, if she says that all her friends have already seen it, I don’t see that you have much of a choice.   In our house we have a rule–if I hear the “everyone’s doing it” line, my answer to whatever request they have is an automatic “no.”   Okay, so it backfired bigtime when I wouldn’t let them get the swine flu vaccine recently, but otherwise this method is pretty much fool-proof.

Because your daughter is entering a phase where peer pressure will become a lot more intense (don’t worry, it will only last thirty more years!), I think it’s important to address the entire “but everyone else is doing it” phenomenon head on.   Let her know that every family has different values and that you will not be swayed by another family’s decisions.   Throw in the whole “if your friends jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you jump too?” argument for good ole times’ sake.

As for whether New Moon is age appropriate for your daughter?   Only you and her father can make that decision.   From what I know about the series it’s about obsessive love with a vampire, so in my book the appropriate age for that is approximately 68.   But I have found this website extremely helpful in deciding what movies my kids can see.   You have to register to use it, but it takes a minute and it’s free.

If you decide that your daughter is simply too young, tell her.   She should know that it’s your job to protect her from things that may be frightening and not age appropriate.   She doesn’t have to like it.     No child has ever thanked their parent in real time for setting boundaries.

Good luck,

Marinka, TMH
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25 Responses to “My 10 Year-Old Wants to See New Moon”

11.23.09#1

Comment by mom, again.

I’m 40-mumble, & I’ve still never seen a number of TV shows & movies that my parents disallowed when I was 12-13-14 or so. I not only lived through the humiliation of it all, but have thrived.

Of course, these days, living through the humiliation is much easier. She can find out all sorts of important plot points & discussion topics via the internets that she can easily attempt to act like she’s seen it too. I just had to pretend that whatever I was doing instead was so much more interesting that I couldn’t bother.)

11.23.09#2

Comment by DG at Diaryofamadbathroom.

I took my 10 year old to see it yesterday. There were a handful of kisses between the characters and a couple of damns and hells. That’s it. There are fight scenes and a few minor scary elements,which might have driven it from PG to PG 13.

11.23.09#3

Comment by Muirgen.

Another idea is to read the book with your daughter. If she’s not mature enough to read it, she’s not mature enough to see it. It reads pretty quickly.

I liked the books and still found elements of them disturbing for pre- and teen girls. And it’s more accurate to say that characters’ lives are at risk here – fights to survive, not disagreements.

I survived my “media police” parents and have turned into one myself. I’ve had other parents tell me I’m too overprotective b/c I won’t show my 3 year old PG movies. Be strong. You know what’s right for your girl.

11.23.09#4

Comment by amy2boys.

I saw it with my daughter Friday night. We went to the late showing (LONG movie, I got home at 1:30 am.) and had a ball. We both gasped when Jacob took his shirt off and we sighed when Edward said lovey things and looked all broody and sparkly.

OK, my daughter is almost 21. (Years, not months.) When she was 10, it would have been a big fat ugly “no.” I remember not letting her go see the Spice Girls movie because I thought their clothes were trashy and they were starting to get knocked up. (She has forgiven me.)

11.23.09#5

Comment by Des.

Funny, I’m having the you can’t see it discussion with my 4 yr old. He wants to; I read the books (and loved them BTW) and I say no. I was so proud of him yesterday, his Nana took him to the movies and he told her he really wanted to see that, but they wouldn’t cause Mama said no…

So nice when they’re still an age to listen. : )

11.23.09#6

Comment by Surfie.

When I was real young, my mom told me I wasn’t allowed to see the movie Dirty Dancing. She never really said why, and considering the other movies we’d grown up watching (Rambo: First Blood, Flashdance, etc.) I didn’t understand why I couldn’t watch it. I ended up watching it anyway at a friend’s house. I still don’t know which parts she didn’t want me to see. But I do know that I was young enough to not realize what was going on during the scenes where Penny was getting the abortion. I didn’t even know what being “knocked up” meant – I thought she’d been beat up! But it wasn’t a big deal. I was just impatient for them to get back to the dancing parts!

11.23.09#7

Comment by Triciatakespics.

Considering Stephenie Meyers is Mormon, I’m pretty sure you’re safe to take your daughter if you want to.
My mom did the same thing to me regarding saying NO to everything that was cool and I just do it all now!

Marinka Reply:

I’m confused about the Mormon reference. Donny & Marie are Mormons and I don’t allow their music in my house, either.

lala Reply:

The LDS church has very high moral standards when it comes to what should and shouldn’t be seen in entertainment (sex, excessive violence, etc). Stephenie Meyer is active in her religion. There is a clause in the movie contract Stephenie signed that has been made public. It states that the movies can only be made on the condition that they are rated no higher than PG-13. Of course, what this means is that the movies need to be “clean” and aren’t trashy and full of immoral/suggestive behavior.

Ams Reply:

I am sorry, but no ten year old – mormon or not should be seeing this movie. There is violence, there is very suggestive sexual behavior… absolutely not. And why expose your children to this business now, when you can wait?! It won’t hurt any. I am absolutely in shock that because someone things that the writer belong to a certain religious group that somehow it is okay for your small child to watch the movie. That’s a VERY bizarre way of thinking!!

11.23.09#8

Comment by mswiggie.

Here’s what I did with the first Twilight movie and my 10-year old daughter:

Her friends had all seen the movie and she wanted to as well. We talked that through to make sure it wasn’t ONLY because her friends saw it. She had a true interest to see it b/c of the story line. So I told her she had to use her own money to buy her own movie ticket. If she really didn’t care about the movie she def wouldn’t have paid the money. This made her choice to see the movie “hers” instead of “everyone else is doing it.” She loved the movie and bought the book with her birthday money, too.

I try to remember that how I treat her now is going to impact her decision-making skills in the future and whether or not she’ll come talk to you about what she does/does not want to do and how she thinks you’ll respond. Tell her she can make the choice to see the movie knowing it could maybe be a little scary at times (or, according to most reviews, BORING!!!).

If you don’t mind seeing the movie, take her and see it together. It’ll be a great experience for the two of you to have some mom/daughter time. If anything DOES bother her, you’ll have time to talk about it over fries and a shake after the movie.

This could set a precedence for your daughter to use reasoning skills and logic for future big choices as she gets older. She’ll know you will treat her fairly (instead of just saying No! You’re too young!) and that you’re always there to talk things through.

Wow. That was unnecessarily lengthy. I’m having flashbacks to my own childhood when my mom told me “NO” for everything. Hmph!

11.23.09#9

Comment by Wendi.

I remember seeing “Saturday Night Fever” in the theater when I was 10, but with a babysitter who didn’t explain things to me. Meaning, I thought the condom Tony’s girlfriend held in her hand was actually a birth control pill and that scared the shit out of me.

11.23.09#10

Comment by asomeoneelse.

I remember when I was between the ages of like 10 and 14 when my mom said no to almost every movie I wanted to see. Later in life I’ve watched a few of those “fad” movies and come to realize that my mom was saving me from losing two hours of my life I’ll never get back. These days I thank her for that.
On the Twilight note though, yesterday my 13 y/o daughter told me that her best friend wanted her to go see New moon with her. She begged and pleaded so I finally relented and gave her the answer she wanted…she was begging me to tell her friend that she was grounded and couldn’t go to the movies.

11.23.09#11

Comment by suburbancorrespondent.

My 12-year-old wants to drive. Should I let him?

Marinka Reply:

Depends. If he wants to drive to the movies, that would be a no. But if it’s to the liquor store to get some scotch for Mom, do you really want to quash his spirit?

lala Reply:

nicely said! 🙂

Ams Reply:

Well Stephanie Meyers can drive so I think it would be fine for your 10 year old to drive too 😉

11.23.09#12

Comment by Heather.

I think every adolescent girl should see this movie. It’s never too early to start setting women up for unrealistic expectations of love and romance.

lala Reply:

Disney has you beat! How about 5 year old girls saying they’re princesses like Cinderlla and Jasmine?

Shana @ SoNotZen Reply:

I agree. All girls should see this movie. Otherwise, how are they going to know that the appropriate response to a boyfriend breaking up with them is to become a completely despondent whacko? Girls need to learn these lessons! PS: Team Bella! Way to wallow!

11.25.09#13

Comment by Darth-O.

I haven’t seen either movie and I probably won’t ever. Reading the books was torturous enough.

11.26.09#14

Comment by EABARDAWILL.

I love that my kids are now legally adults.
.
.
.
Tho their Dad still feels a bit funny asking for pron recs.

/kidding
//not really.
/// no, just kidding. Really.

11.26.09#15

Comment by amy.

I took my 12 year old daughters to see it. But their mother is a Twilight Series junkie who suggested and took them on a Forks Wa. trip this past summer 🙂 We are going again this weekend.

Were they 10 and wanted to go? Not sure… the movie is pretty tame, but has it’s scary moments (from a 10 year olds perspective anyway). And smoochy stuff with Bella and Edward.

The next two movies should be even steamier if the books content is any indication..

11.28.09#16

Comment by momsmith.

I took my 10 year old to see it. There was less sexual content and violence in that movie than there was in most commercials.

I encourage my daughter to ask me questions about things she doesn’t understand — that way I know she’s getting the right information from me rather than her friends (which is how I found out about sex in third grade after a boy brought a porn magazine to the park).

No matter how much you shelter them they will eventually be exposed to something — and I would rather she be informed than not so she can make the right decisions.

11.30.09#17

Comment by Masala Chica.

I don’t think that New Moon is really all that bad – there isn’t nudity and a lot of cursing. I think a child’s maturity can only be honestly evaluated by the people that know them best.

sadly – sometimes, that isn’t the parents.

So you just hope you know what you’re doing, say a prayer and jump.
kiran

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