28 Jun
I Love My Family But What I Really Need Are Friends

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I currently moved three thousand miles away from my home and I am a stay at home mom now. My issue is I ALWAYS have my 2-year-old daughter with me and I am expecting another baby in September but I don’t have any friends and I don’t even know how to go about making any. Please help me!!!

Signed,

My 2-year-old is Not a Great Conversationalist

__________________________________

Dear My 2-year-old is Not a Great Conversationalist,

Oh yes.  Every gal out there needs some cool ladies they can split a box of rosé with. I mean, talk about the pros and cons of attachment parenting. Your problem is really as old as the dawn of time, whenever that was. I do remember Adam and Eve got in one fierce argument because Eve was complaining incessantly that she had no girl posse and was very lonely.

We professionals in the advice business call your problem, “I Need Some Damn Friends ASAP or My Brain is Going to Explode From Lack of Adult Conversation During the Day.” Lucky for you, we have tons of great ideas.  Here is some advice. And some more.

And you are ignoring your golden ticket to life long fabulous friendships. Your daughter!! She provides a natural way to meet people. Make an effort to talk to other moms at the playground and set up playdates with other moms who have toddlers. Sign your daughter up for classes or preschool and start networking! You will have to slog your way through some duds until you find a mom that you really click with (remember dating?) but it’s so worth it.

Unfortunately it doesn’t happen overnight. When I first moved to the suburbs, I used to curl myself up in a ball and watch Sex in the City, pretending that Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha were my besties. But eventually I met some really funny, great moms and I no longer have to pretend that TV characters are my friends. Well, I still do that but definitely not as much.

So hang in there. Your mom friends are out there!

Kelcey, TMH

6 Responses to “I Love My Family But What I Really Need Are Friends”

06.28.12#1

Comment by StephanieG.

I agree with Kelcey! Take your little one to the park, the petting zoo, the public pool, story time at the library. Your daughter is really too young to begin forming bonds with other kids, but you’ll begin to see familiar faces after a few outings, and those familiar faces are all friendship prospects.

Chat up other moms at the grocery store or doctor’s office. Are there other expectant moms at your OB? Moms like to emphathize, and of course, we’re all interested in new babies!

Since you’re relatively new to town, you have the perfect opening line. People like to be asked their opinion, so ask for recommendations for a vet, dry cleaners, bank, or the best place to stock up on diapers. Whatever you can find to make a connection will open that door for you.

One of my very best friends came into my life because our daughters are friends. She’s the kind of person I would hang out with, even if our kids weren’t involved. And I’m not ashamed to say I blatantly took advantage of the relationship that happened because my kid brought us together.

You owe yourself the same, so let that beautiful 2-year old be your “magnet” and draw friends to you.

If all else fails, once the new baby is born, get a puppy. Lord knows NO one can resist two cute kids and a floppy eared hot mess.

Good luck to you!

06.28.12#2

Comment by Muffintopmommy.

I agree. I met some of my best friends in town before my oldest was 2 (he’s 7 now) at a toddler gym class the town ran. There is an organization around the country called the MOM’S group or club I think—if you google it they might have one near you. And you’ll really start to meet a lot of people when your kids start preschool. Hang in there! One of my friends met another fun mom at Target. She calls her her “Target friend” and they’ve been friends for a few years now! Your new bestie might be lurking by the Market Pantry chips!

06.28.12#3

Comment by Inelegant Life.

I have a few SAHM friends who met other moms through Meetup. And story time at the local library.

Good luck. Making friends as adults is hard whether you’re a SAHM, working outside the home mom, or even not a mom!

06.28.12#4

Comment by Big ol' B with a capital B.

Yes! Search the web for moms groups in your area. There are a ton and most are moms just like you who want to have some social interactions. Or, find playgroups through a mom’s group and you’ll probably hit it off with a mom or two.

Good luck! We’ve all been there. 🙂

06.29.12#5

Comment by red pen mama.

Not just that, but look into Twitter, and local Twitter/mom profiles. You can start interacting with moms on social media and get a feel for people you’d like to meet IRL. I know Twitter has helped me make a bunch of new friends (moms and not-moms alike). Plus it will help with those recommendation type things in your new town too. Good luck. Making new friends is hard, but very worth it.

red pen mama Reply:

And by “that” i mean all these other suggestions. oy.

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