20 Aug
Him I like, Her? Not so much

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My child has a best friend and frequently asks for said friend to come over and play, or to go to their house. The friend is a sweet kid, but the problem is I can’t stand the parents. At all. I don’t want my child to go to their home, and it would be awkward to ask for their child to come to mine. Is it ever okay to discourage a child’s friendship because the parents are big jerks?

Sincerely,


Best Friend Buster

____________________________________________________________
Dear Buster:

I, too, face a similar situation, only the feeling between myself and the other parents is mutual.   However, and I never in a million years thought I would say this, I’m “lucky” to be divorced because I just have my ex husband set up the play dates between my daughter and the ickey people’s spawn, and this way everyone is happy.

I know it’s hard as these darn kids, they grow older, they understand more, they have thoughts and opinions and unfortunately, we are left to deal with all that. Shame, I know, since it was so much better when I   could decide who she socialized with, and say whatever I needed to whenever the time felt right. Now I   have to resort to either speaking a foreign language or using extreme facial expressions and well, I don’t want to brag, but I believe I have now also mastered the art of lip reading.

But, I digress. I’m not sure how old your child is, but perhaps you could drop him/her off at the friend’s home and just arrange a time for pick-up or vice-versa. However if the other mom is   like ME one of those types of mothers who loves to come over and chat your ear off because she has no social life is super friendly and a real people person, then you might want to consider divorcing your husband. Besides letting him take your entire Lethal Weapon DVD collection, give him the task of setting up times for the kids to play, too.

If the idea of your kid spending an afternoon in the other kid’s home is part of what bothers you, then arrange to have a play date in a park or something of that sort and be sure to invite other people. At the very least, they can provide a human barrier between you and “those” parents.   If they try to talk to you,   just be pleasant and about five seconds into their yakking, answer your cell phone and excuse yourself.   Naturally, the chances are they won’t hear a ring because chances are nobody will be calling you but do it anyway; this way you get out of speaking to them and also leave them thinking they are losing their minds. Win-win as far as I can see. Good luck.

Love,

Jessica, TMH

5 Responses to “Him I like, Her? Not so much”

08.20.09#1

Comment by christy.

Great advice – outdoor playdates with other people…that’s what I do when one particular mom occasionally joins the playgroup I host – I shoot out an email and say sorry I can’t host at home today, let’s go to the park! Childish? Maybe! But it works for me!

08.20.09#2

Comment by Kay.

I’m so glad mine’s a teenager now – drop him off and all is done. Very little parent to parent interaction required, besides the “you DO know that your child is having a party tonight, right?” phone calls.

08.20.09#3

Comment by Akilah Sakai.

Great advice, Jessica. I also like certain playmates with annoying parents. I call the need for others my buffer zone. An outdoor playdate with a thick buffer zone is the way to go!

08.26.09#4

Comment by Karena.

My daughter has a friend who I had over a few times for playdates and once for a sleepover. After I had her over for the sleepover, her parents assumed that everytime we invited her to play, it was going to be a sleepover. They also assumed that because I had the little sister come once that she was invited every time. I have 3 kids of my own, all under the age of 5. Toss 2 more kids under the age of 5 into my house and it gets a little crazy, as do I.
They have invited her over a few times, but they have a 14 year old boy who creeps me out. We’ll see him on the news in a few years. Probably on “THS: Inside the Mind of a Serial Killer” or something.

07.28.11#5

Comment by Sundance.

Four score and seven minutes ago, I read a sweet arlitce. Lol thanks

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