26 May
Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun: It’s Twins!

A few months ago, Wendi, Heather and Marinka decided to throw our pregnant Mouthy Housewife Kelcey a baby shower.   But, to be honest, we were all a little worried about having to play one of those psycho shower games where you wind up eating mystery baby food and rubbing someone’s feet with a burp cloth. (You know the ones.)

So instead we got some of our virtual friends, all parents of twins, to shower Kelcey with advice!  Congratulations, Kelcey, on the birth of your beautiful twins.  And thank you to Brian, Stacey, Monica and Kirsten, for sharing your wisdom!

Is it difficult to tell your twins apart? What tips do you have for new parents, especially when they have one of each gender?

When our girls were infants, we relied on different colored toenail polish to tell them apart. It wasn’t always necessary to check it, but it was nice to have a definitive answer for those days in which you have slept so little you couldn’t even recognize your spouse in a line-up of local thugs.   – Brian

This can be tricky.  My twins are the same gender, so I didn’t have the benefit of peeking inside their diapers to tell them apart.  Honestly, I could tell them apart in the middle of the night because one was squishier than the other.  True story.  – Kirsten

No, in general, I can tell my Haitian daughter from my red-headed Scottish-ancestry son.   If she has trouble, Kelcey could always paint one of her babies a different color, or, you know, just check for the penis. – Stacey

What’s the hardest thing about having two newborns?

Everything.  No, really it’s a snap.  It’s incredibly easy to fit two highchairs in your kitchen and carrying around two baby carriers is great for the biceps.  I’m totally lying.  It’s a little difficult.  My husband went on a business trip when my twins were about a month old.  When he came back I couldn’t decide what to do first, change my underwear or brush my teeth. -Kirsten

That they will become two three-year-olds.   I’m sorry in advance.- Stacey

The hardest thing is dealing with all the lookyloo’s.. Going out shopping with twins turns a 30-60 minute trip into a 2-3 hour trip. Plan on spending an entire day out just to shop for groceries.  “¨The babies themselves are easy! Get on a schedule, and stick to it. When you feed, feed them both at the same time, same goes for naps, changing diapers, and oh… baths… Yeah.. Daddy and I tag teamed on baths. One would wash while the other dried and dressed. – Monica

Everything. Okay, not everything. No, yes, everything. Sleeping is impossible. My wife was in charge of breastfeeding, which she did nearly constantly, rolling on one side for one baby, then the other for the other. I was in charge of taking care of any infant that didn’t go back to sleep after nursing. There were some nights that neither of us slept a single bit. – Brian

Do you think that twin names should “match”?

No. No and no and no. Twins are not “twins”. They are just two individuals who were born at the same time. They should be treated as individuals, not a set.   -Brian

Yes!   I suggest Lemonjello and Orangejello.   Names of twins on a prescription my husband filled.   I kid you not. Don’t stress.   You can not do worse than that. – Stacey

No, but they should definitely be dressed alike.  That way there will be no doubt that they are twins and people will feel bad for you. -Kirsten

NO NO NO NO! We very deliberately chose names that didn’t “Match”. We had people suggesting things like “Sarah & Ciera” (because they don’t look the same now do they?)  “¨We wanted the girls to have their own identities, and wanted them to have names that fit their personalities. I think we did great with Alexandra and Victoria.  “¨Besides… Think about the kids when they go to school. Do you really want other kids to pick on them because you named them Jack and Jill or Gabriel and Gabrielle?? Seriously???  – Monica

What’s the thing that surprised you most about having twins?

The fact that I could not take 10 steps outside my house without being stopped and answering questions (some very thoughtless) about my twins. -Brian

When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I honestly thought “how hard could it be?  I’ve babysat more than one child before.”  But then they were born and I had to laugh at myself.  It’s no picnic, but then again I did end up having a third.  And I am still amazed at how easy having one baby at a time was for me.  You will laugh at all the “mothers” who give birth to their children one at a time. – Kirsten

The confidence, strength and comfort they find in each other.   It’s awesome. – Stacey

What’s the most outrageous thing that someone ever said to you about having twins?

The worst was “which one is the evil twin?” My twins are almost eight years old and people still ask me if I breast fed them and how.  Be prepared… people feel no shame in asking if you fed them both at the same time.  – Kirsten

Too many outrageous comments to narrow down to just one, but once another mother of twins, who had a full time nanny, asked me if I take care of my girls by myself. When I said yes, she sighed and said “Oh, that must be so much easier! Your twins must have learned how to be patient!” My twins were 13 months old. Like hell they had learned patience. -Brian

There’s been a few.. but the one that sticks with me is “Oh.. I feel sorry for you. You have your hands full.” Really? Do I really?? Because my girls are sitting in the cart, smiling, and hugging each other while your 3 kids who are all different ages are starting a revolution in your cart…  – Monica

“I could never have twins, I couldn’t pay enough attention to two children.”   Yes, thank you, I’m happily failing to pay my children enough attention and I’m now afraid that they will grow up to be neglected serial killers. -Stacey

Best advice that you ever got about twins?

“Do not divorce your spouse in the first year. Whatever happens, give your marriage a pass for that first year.” -Brian

Enjoy EVERY minute. They grow way too fast… and they do… My girls start Kindergarten this year, and I have NO idea where the last 5 years have gone… at all…  – Monica

There was another mother of twins at my baby shower and she told me not to look in the mirror for the first few weeks.  That was good advice. -Kirsten

Any good 2-for-the-price-of-one deals we should know about?

I wish. The first time I took them in for an infant well-check and had to pay 2 co-pays, I openly wept.   -Brian

I don’t know of any good 2-for-1 deals, but I do know a lot of places give twin discounts! Start writing to diaper companies, toy companies, etc. Let them know your due date, and genders of your twins. They’ll very often send you samples and freebies!  “¨- Monica

Applebee’s on Wednesday nights.   Children eat for $0.99.   No, I am not kidding.   Yes, we go there a lot.  – Stacey

Who are your favorite famous twins?

Okay, this question I am sorry to be asked. I despise the idea of famous children. I am actively upset to be asked this. – Brian

Ann Landers and Dear Abby. -Kirsten

Paul and Morgan Hamm.. olympic gymnasts… They rock… Following them, Jocelyne and Monique Lamoureux… 19 year old US Women’s Olympic Hockey Team members… Youngest members of the team, and they kick butt!!!  “¨- Monica

How easy is it to turn your twins into cash cows a la the Olsen Twins?

See above answer. – Brian

How willing are you to starve them and have their eyes surgically enlargened until they look like bush babies? – Stacey

We honestly haven’t even tried. We prefer them to enjoy their childhood. – Monica

Have your twins ever pretended to be each other so that they can trick you and your ex-husband into reconciling?

No. My twins are not that clever.   Also, that whole different color thing.   And they know how pissed I would be if they tried to paint each other the opposite color.   Plus, no ex-husband.   OMIGOD, there are so many problems with this question.  – Stacey

Not so much. The one time one of my girls identified herself as the other, the other twin fell to the floor wailing she was so upset. – Brian

HA… no… they let you know who they are. We’ve messed with them and called Victoria by Alexandra’s name and vice versa… They’re very quick to correct you. – Monica

Is one of your twins “evil”?

Evil … no… but very sneaky… yes.. very sneaky – Monica

http://www.lookydaddy.com/weblog/2006/09/can_you_spot_th.html -Brian

No.   Their mother is evil, especially before she has coffee.   Oh yeah, Kelcey, stock up on that coffee. – Stacey

15 Responses to “Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun: It’s Twins!”


Comment by Natalie.

This is too funny! I just did a guest post today about the exact same topic. Trying to go anywhere with twins is almost impossible unless you add at least an additional 30 minutes to an hour to how long you think it will take! People LOVE twins!
And looking on the bright side: I just say I’m lucky we didn’t have triplets or I’d never get anything done 🙂


Comment by hokgardner.

This is just pure awesome!


Comment by writingmama04.

Being a twin myself, I always wanted to have twins. Then I had friends who had twins and was I ever glad to have dodged that bullet! Love love love this widsom! Now I appreciate my dear mother even more.


Comment by Molly.

I know a woman with twin boys who are 8 now. She was CONSTANTLY getting asked how she could tell her children apart. Her response (completely deadpanned) “We only circumcised one of them”

That usually shut people up.


Comment by Karen at French Skinny.

I just laughed at myself for only having one child. I’m a total slacker. Hang on.
“Gunther, can you rub my neck now? And I need a refill on my iced java mocha splash latte, sweetie. Thanks.”
Well, I have to get back to my busy, busy day.


Comment by MommyTime.

My sisters (mother of twins born when her older daughter was 3) swears that the most annoying comment she ever got was, “oh, it must be sooo much easier to have twins: they can entertain each other!” She always wanted to retort something about how VEEERRRRY much easier it certainly was ever since she had trained them to change each other’s diapers, but she is too nice for that. This exchange always made me grateful not to have had twins (though as a child, I used to fantasize that I was a twin and that I would have twins one day).


Comment by Kelcey.

This is just FABULOUS advice! Thank you ladies for putting this together. If my stomach did not hurt so much from this damn c-section, I would indeed be LOLing a lot. But for right now, I have to laugh without moving my stomach.

And now, I too, am only going to circumcise one of my twins.


Comment by AmazingGreis.

Love the twin advice. I’m still kind of stuck on the crazy question. Do people really ask mother’s of twins if they breast fed and how they did it? Really?!?! Wow!! LOL

Good luck with the babies Kelcey and congrats!


Comment by K-Line.

Great advice!


Comment by Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him.

Truly, if it’s too hard to tell them apart, Kelcey will just have to sell one. And they looked really cute so I’m sure he or she will fetch a handsome price. Or donate one to the Home Ec class so young girls learn that they should never have sex.


Comment by Notes | Queen of Shake Shake.

[…] other ALL OF THE TIME, so I assume those are their favorite names. The Mouthy Housewives had some hilarious people give Kelcey advice on raising twins, biological or Irish. And how convenient, I’m giving advice over there today too. Don’t […]


Comment by smartarse.

Most hysterical post I’ve ever read on the internet.


Comment by MsKari77.

Congratulations on the twins!! People do ask you all kinds of stupid stuff when you have twins….
I just found out…and my twins are 3 1/2…if you order off sears.com, they give you Buy One Get One 25% off on baby gear and furniture sold by Sears!! I only found this out, cus I am ordering my boys new car seats!

MsKari77 Reply:

(Just read the small print on the sears thing, it’s a sale they are having that ends May 27, so today…)


Comment by Cj.

Ah – Lemonjello and Orangejello – I too had these twins at a summer camp I used to instruct at. At first I thought “WTF!” but then once I saw them, and then got to know them – it was easy to tell them apart. I’m still curious as to why their mother wasn’t more creative….

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