25 Mar
Dear Friend, Your Kid Is a Bully

It’s Guest Mouthy Housewife Day and we’re excited to have the wonderful VodkaMom here today!   Because not only is she funny, I have many, many fond memories of spending time with her in a NYC piano bar.   That may or may not involve vodka.   Make sure to visit her funny and clever  blog (if you’re one of the four people out there who doesn’t read it already, that is.)

– Marinka

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I love doing playdates with my best friend but her kid is a total bully. Constantly snatching things out of my child’s hand and doing things to make her cry. But my friend is completely blind to the situation.

She never does a thing to reprimand her kid. Should I give up the playdates or try to talk to her about her wild child? I don’t want things to get awkward.

Signed,

Your Kid is a Bully

_______________________________

Dear Kid is a Bully,

 

Okay, so let me get this straight:   Her kid is basically beating the crap out of your child’s self-esteem and confidence and you don’t want to make things awkward?

Well, I’m no rocket scientist (nor have I ever wanted to be) but I have to say that it’s time to grow some balls and speak up.

You need to be clear, use   specific examples when discussing it with your friend, and end with “What can we do TOGETHER to help them be great friends, like we are?”

And if that doesn’t work, I say pack up your wine and the Barbies and find some other friends for your daughter to play with.     You can still be friends with the mom , but I would be sure that you leave your daughter home with Daddy when you   do.

A final note.   You can use the opportunity to talk to your daughter about her pseudo-friend’s behavior and about the ways that friends treat each other.   It’s an important lesson that we all learn throughout our lives.

Signed,

Vodka Mom, Guest TMH

 

10 Responses to “Dear Friend, Your Kid Is a Bully”

03.25.11#1

Comment by Cool Dad.

Sage advice, VM. Cool Baby (3y) is pretty sensitive and is usually the one in tears after a conflict with another kid. Not straight up bullying, but I still need to talk to him about it.

How does one teach their child passive aggression anyway? (Joking!)

03.25.11#2

Comment by christy.

Spot-on, and advice I might have to take myself too! Love VodkaMom!!!

03.25.11#3

Comment by Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up).

Hey! You’re pretty good with that advice stuff! Maybe you should be a teacher! Hahahaha

03.25.11#4

Comment by Karen at French Skinny.

Wow, it would never occur to me not to parent some little bully who’s mom is staring off into the stratosphere of prozac. I guess I’m old school.
Rock On VM!

03.25.11#5

Comment by Steph.

Dear VM, What good advice. Could I have your phone number? I need lots of advice with my kids:)

03.25.11#6

Comment by annie.

Ah, flashbacks of our friend’s son mowing down our daughter on halloween. I told her the tractor costume was a bad idea! Thankfully he had a parent who saw it as not so cool behavior.

VodkaMom is spot on! Put on your big girl panties and stick up for your child. She has to know you are her protector – it’ll come in handy later. Trust me on that.

03.25.11#7

Comment by Plano Mom.

My kid was the bully. I was always very careful to discipline him immediately with a loving time out, in front of the “victim’s” parent. Didn’t always stick when he was 2, but he’s now 12 and strangers come to me all the time commenting on how gentle and kind he is.

Sometimes parents need to learn how to help their children learn. It’s possible it never even occurs to her that her child is out of line, because it’s just part of who that child is.

03.26.11#8

Comment by amy.

Been there and done that… The more time that went on I realized why that little bastard was such a tyrant.

Hello Mom? Fighting/being aggressive/and a little dick head is not acceptable. And yes, if he has psychological problems I am so very sorry but could you please get him to stop beating on my child?!

OK, thanks.

One wonders what the little shit is like some 17 years later 🙂

smithy Reply:

wow

Still 3. “dick head”. Still 3. Little shit. STILL 3. AND, my friend’s child. Doesn’t mean you don’t stick up for your child. Doesn’t mean you don’t say something to other mom. STILL, 3. And, I’ve got one of each. The one who’s angelic and the one who’s a jerk. BUT, Dick head? STILL THREE.

09.07.11#9

Comment by Take This Job And...Shove It? | The Mouthy Housewives.

[…] somehow much different than the toddler-preschooler-grade-schooler world you’ve been living in. This is absolutely not the case!  You know those whining, screaming, tantrum-throwing beings you’ve just spent all your good years […]

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