Ah, the ol’ switcheroo
Dear TMH,
I have two kids. My 7 year-old son is God’s gift to parents, easily manipulated easy going, quiet, sweet, well mannered, a people pleaser really. My 9 year-old daughter is stubborn, hard headed, and anything but a people pleaser. While my hubs and I were singing the praises of our son to one another, we find out he and a friend solicited lewd acts from another young lady. Now why doesn’t Parents magazine cover this kind of parenting hurdle? Am I raising a sexual deviant? Or is this youth exploration? Is this karma’s retribution and a sign that our string willed daughter will actually be the easier of the two?
Signed,
Trouble in Paradise
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Dear Trouble in Paradise,
I will begin by saying that I guess I’m very fortunate to only have one daughter who is a combination of both your kids which now causes me to question whether or not I’m raising a total lunatic.
That aside, I have often been very surprised to find out that people I thought I knew very well ended up being serial killers. Okay not serial killers but nevertheless, not the people I thought I knew. Like it turned out that one friend preferred to eat Raisin Bran without any milk and another, cantaloupe without cottage cheese, both of which really threw me for a loop but didn’t necessarily make them “bad” people.
Unfortunately, because I’m still not sure if I’m only now permitted to practice psychiatry in places that begin with the letter “x”, I can only suggest that if your gut is telling you that seeing a therapist about this is the right thing to do, well, definitely go for it. A mother’s instinct is always right. Hopefully, you will find comfort in this and I feel very strongly that in fact this is not God’s way of getting you back for not telling your husband about last month’s Visa bill or forgetting to buy me a birthday gift for the last 43 years, it’s just life.
Lastly, the reason why Parents Magazine probably doesn’t cover this issue is because I’m pretty sure Proctor and Gamble would not be happy to find out they were trying to sell baby formula in a magazine that wrote about subjects that necessitated the use of the word, “lewd” or any other four letter word of that nature, many of which, I might add, make up a large portion of my vocabulary which probably the reason they have yet to seek out my advice. Well, I guess, not everyone is as clever as you are. Obviously.
Good Luck.
Love,
Jessica, TMH
5 Responses to “Ah, the ol’ switcheroo”
Comment by Inna.
I just wanted to clarify: were these lewd acts solicited from 7 year-olds to another 7 year-old? Cause if so, then it was probably just curiosity. If it was to a much older girl, then I don’t know what to say….
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Comment by Amber in Albuquerque.
Uh…at the risk of creeping everyone out…how lewd were they? My two boys are going through a “body” phase where pretty much everything is about some part, fluid, or function. It’s to the point where “Don’t be vulgar!” comes out of my mouth almost as often as “Who hid the vodka?”
I’m not advocating against the therapist, but (just in case cost/availability are issues) you might want to consider not only the age of the girl in question, but the nature of the request–mere curiosity (show me your…) or outright lewd (blank my blank)?* Also consider the parenting of your kiddo’s partner in crime. Maybe yours wasn’t the leader but was following this other kid into deviance…still not good, but perhaps understandble in kid logic terms.
* OK…I just typed ‘lude’ instead of ‘lewd’ maybe that little Freudian slip says I shouldn’t be offering anyone parenting advice!
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Comment by Andrea's Sweet Life.
Uhm, without knowing more info, it’s hard to say whether to be terribly alarmed or chalk it up to curiosity.
If it feels like this is beyond general curiosity, get thee to a child psychologist for a couple of sessions. Trust me.
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Comment by rebecky.
From personal experience, sometimes taking a kid to a therapist or religious leader or even the police for “a-talking-to” or even to just explore their mistakes, deviances, and bad behavior can make the child think about it MORE. Don’t make a big deal out of something that can be solved at home. How many times has the child done the wrong thing? Just once? eh, no big deal. Use your parenting skills and tell him what’s what–give him the chance to correct his behavior. Keep teaching him strong morals, and see where that goes. I’d advise not JUMPING into therapy.
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Comment by The Peach Tart.
I love your irreverant sense of humor
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