Dear Mouthy Housewives,
Every year on Halloween, we notice something very obnoxious in our neighborhood. In addition to the many children and teenagers in costume, we also get a handful of older women pushing around strollers and asking for candy. Last year, it was a grandmother and her grandson. She came to the door, leaving the stroller with a friend at the end of our driveway, and asked for candy for the infant. WTF?! I wanted to say no, but in the moment I just kind of looked at her, flabbergasted, and handed her the damn candy.
Should I speak up this year or will my house get egged?
Halloween is Not for the Elderly
Dear Halloween is Not for the Elderly,
Apparently, Halloween seems to be the one day that you can show up at stranger’s houses and demand free food. Well, I also do it on Arbor Day, but take it from me, it’s far less successful.
My feeling is – No Costume, No Candy! Say it with me! I mean, even those hoodlum teenagers manage to throw a pillow case over their heads and pretend to be ghosts for some free Snicker bars. You gotta put a little effort in! Even when my daughter was just 2 months old, I stuffed her into a super lame ear of corn costume. It wasn’t my first choice but it was the last remaining crumpled costume lying on the floor at Buy Buy Baby. But as far as I was concerned, that costume earned me some free candy corns.
So has the grandmother stuck her grandson in a cute little Pumpkin outfit? Well, then hand over the goods. But if he’s dressed as a baby, then no luck.
I understand why you fear being egged if you hold your ground. Those trick or treaters are a rowdy bunch and I once had a 4 foot Dracula aggressively insist I was dressed as Amy Winehouse when I was so obviously Priscilla Presley. What is wrong with 3rd graders anyway?!
But just put up a cute sign by your doorbell that says, “No Costume, No Candy” and if someone still has the audacity to demand candy without even a hint of dress up effort, let them know that you are running low and would love to save it for the kids in the neighborhood.
Or even better, just have some boxes of craisins nearby that you can throw in their bag. Trust me, they will never come back. Not even on Arbor Day.