Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I had a baby six months ago but I have yet to shed all my baby weight. Not only do I feel lousy about my body but at least once a week, some idiot asks, “So when are you due?” I practically walk away in tears. What is the proper response to this question?
I Already Had the Baby Dumb Ass
I will never understand how a person has the balls to walk up to a woman who is in all likelihood a bit bloated from three Diet Cokes and 6 Cadbury Creme Eggs and wishes her a big ole congrats on her pregnancy. Having just given birth myself, I too have been subjected to such humiliation.
Taking off baby weight is not easy. For some reason, breast feeding has never sucked off the pounds the way every supermodel promises. But maybe Gisele Bundchen and Heidi Klum don’t start their days with two chocolate croissants and end them with huge bowls of chocolate double fudge ice cream like I do.
There is really no way to stop people from asking this asinine question. And once they realize you’re not pregnant, they probably feel worse then you do. Still, you need a proper response. So when someone asks when you are due, just say, “In December. And I’m registered at Pottery Barn. I’d love it if you’d buy me the Kendall Nursing Collection. You’re a real darling to buy me such a generous gift.” And then walk away.
Good luck taking off the baby weight. I heard something about exercise and carrot sticks working wonders but I have yet to try this myself. I’m still hoping chocolate croissants do the trick.