18 Nov
My Friend has a Baby and His Name is Spot

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My friend has a dog who is her “baby.”   It’s revolting.   She lets him sit on the couch, thinks it’s cute when he jumps on people and doesn’t understand why I go to wash my hands after he licks them.   I don’t mind dogs, but I can’t stand her constant babytalking to him, and his being all over me.

I try to limit my visits to her home and usually we do go out.   But any good suggestions for when I’m trapped with her son?

Signed, Sick of the Puppy Love

______________________

Dear SPL,

Oh I remember that puppy love well. Long before I had kids, my husband and I adopted a puppy from the rescue shelter to see if we could get the knack of this parenting thing. This puppy looked like Audrey Hepburn (I swear!) and we were totally smitten. When we traveled abroad, I missed her terribly and felt pangs of longing every time I looked at her photo. She was my baby.

Until I had a human baby! Then I could barely remember the dog’s name.   Of course, we still loved our dog but it wasn’t the same. I’m guessing your friend doesn’t have any children yet and instead she is completely committed to her pooch.   This is all perfectly understandable but it shouldn’t require you to endure an unwelcome lick fest every time you drop by. And you know that old belief that dogs’ mouths are actually cleaner than ours? According to the experts, completely not true.   Dogs mouths are dirtier because they have a tendency to sniff and eat bacteria-filled waste. Yum!

Unless you steal your friend’s birth control pills and get her knocked up, this puppy love is going to continue for awhile so you need to set some ground rules. For example, let your friend know that even though you adore Spot, you don’t love him jumping all over you.

Then try to make a tiny effort by petting the dog, bringing over a few treats or you know, taking him for a walk in a baby stroller (I’m just positive she likes to walk her dog in a stroller).   If you can be a little kinder to her dog, she will be less defensive when you’re coating yourself with hand sanitizer afterward.

If you just can’t muster up any love for this pooch, than feign allergies and just meet her out. That is – if you can both get a babysitter.

Good luck,

Kelcey, TMH

6 Responses to “My Friend has a Baby and His Name is Spot”

11.18.09#1

Comment by Marinka,TMH.

Are you sure that it’s really a dog? Not all babies are cute, you know!

Roshni Reply:

bwahahahahaha!!!!!

11.18.09#2

Comment by Aludra.

As a person with no children and 1 dog, I have to say that I think Ms. Sick of Puppy Love is over-reacting. Some dogs are allowed on couches (mine isn’t but my dad’s dog is). All dogs lick. I think maybe it is dishonest to say “I don’t mind dogs” When you actually DO mind dogs.

Just be honest with your friend and say

“I don’t like dogs, I’d prefer they stayed about 1 to 2 feet away from me. Can you teach me how to tell your dog to stop licking and give me some breathing room?”

My dog knows Stop, Sit, Stay, and Go. So if he gets too friendly my friends and family can tell him to back off, and he does. It’s not that difficult for dogs and non-dog-people to co-exist.

11.18.09#3

Comment by Andrea.

OMG! I hate that. My friend’s dog will lick me (I HATE BEING LICKED) and I always push the dog away. She gets totally offended saying that the dog is just showing me love. Um NO. I have four dogs. They are only licking your skin for the salt. YUCK!

11.18.09#4

Comment by soccermom.

Your either a pet lover or your not. I have two children and a little chihuahua and I baby talk to the dog all the time. My dog is as important to me as my children are.

11.18.09#5

Comment by Notesfromthegrove.

It sounds to me like this person is seriously lacking in the doggie-training department. While yes, some dogs are allowed on furniture and yes, they do like to show affection (ie. jumping and licking), it is still an animal and it should be taught obedience. I have always been an animal person and LOVE my pets, but like children, there’s a way to show love AND dicipline at the same time. I hope this person will get her dog some obedience training. EVERYONE will be happier in the end.

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