Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year, and most of our time together has been wonderful.
However, he is 15 years my senior. This does not bother me, or my friends and family, but lately I am starting to feel pressure from him about when we will be starting a family of our own.
I’m not ready to have children or get married yet, but I do not want to lose him. I really want to accomplish the completion of my bachelor’s degree before I fully settle down, but he is worried that it will take too long and that he will be older than he wants to be when I am finally ready to commit to a family.
I understand his desire for his parents to see their grandchildren, but I am beginning to worry that I am wasting his time by being with him if I won’t be prepared for kids and marriage when he is.
My dreams and goals matter to me, but so do his. What should I do?
Not Married With Children
Dear Not Married With Children,
BREAK UP WITH HIM. Seriously. Right now. And then after a proper amount of time has passed, can you please give me his name and number so I can pass it on to a few of my beautiful, lovely single friends who are totally ready to get married and start a family.
Oh, forget it. He’ll probably still be pining for you.
Every relationship comes with its own challenges. Like my husband has absolutely no sense of direction but always has incredible confidence when it comes to driving somewhere. Which means we’ve been lost like 638 times and had 637 fights over it. (One time we didn’t argue because I was actually sleeping.) You would think GPS would have solved this little marital hiccup but apparently GPS is confusing too. We constantly miss turns and the GPS lets us know in a very condescending tone that it is recalculating the route. Again.
I’m sure you and your boyfriend have no problem reaching your driving destinations but you do have a challenge with your age difference. He’s ready to settle down. You are not. You both have every right to feel the way you do.
So here’s my question… Is this guy the one? Did you immediately say yes? Or did you hem and haw a bit?
If the answer is yes, tell him. Tell him that you want to marry him. You want to have children with him. You love him deeply. But you aren’t ready to ring shop. You will be. But not yet. If he can’t wait or doesn’t understand, you will have to let him go. Because you deserve this time to achieve your own goals. Let me assure you that once you have a couple kids grabbing onto your legs and whining endlessly, it will be a difficult to focus on yourself.
If you hesitated a bit about whether this guy is your soul mate, it’s definitely time to break things off. It will be sad. It will be heartbreaking. But it will be the best thing for both of you.