20 May
I Don’t Want To Be On A Blog. But I’ll Write To A Blog For Advice.

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

We plan to spend a week at the beach with my entire family. This would be a blast, except for this one little problem: my brother-in-law has a blog.

His blog is mostly of my nieces and nephews (pictures and videos included,) but if you are around them, he expects you to be okay with the documentation. I’m not, and do not want my or my children’s picture/video on the Internet. I’m a very private person.

When I tried to say something, my brother-in-law blew it off saying “In THIS family we document everything.” What can I say to make him understand I don’t agree with him documenting every aspect of his children’s lives? And of course, allowing my family the privacy I feel we need.

We all know the Internet is forever. It would be really easy for a predator to find his family or kids because of his blog. This is absolutely frightening to me.


Scared in Ohio


Dear Scared in Ohio,

You realize you have written this question to bloggers, right? This fear of a blog is hard for me to comprehend. I will have to pretend I’m an alien (like Lady Gaga) so I can understand your point of view.

Do you ever wonder when man first began chiseling words into stone tablets, whether people freaked out, saying words in stone are forever? Surely this is something to fear! Look at Moses; he smashed the chiseled stone tablets, only God commanded him to make a second set so it would last forever. Fast-forward 2000 years and the Chinese are the pissed off Moses, and Google is the first set of stone tablets.

The moral of the story? I shouldn’t drink and tell bible stories at the same time. Err, I mean the moral is the Internet is still here just like the Ten Commandments, despite China trying to destroy it. When you look at it that way, it’s like God wants us on the Internet. So stop being scared, this Internet thing is going to work out for the best.

Sunday school lessons and wine glass aside let’s get practical. What can you say to make your brother-in-law understand you don’t agree with him blogging about his children? I have a suggestion that rings with truth due to its simplicity: “I don’t agree with you blogging about your children.”

You can say it, but it doesn’t mean your brother-in-law must stop. So you disagree. I disagree with my cat throwing up hairballs in the hall for everyone to see, but she keeps doing it. Accept his blogging of his immediate family as his business.

And as far as predators, I don’t think blogging raises your niece and nephew’s chance of being eaten by a tiger. It’s not like tigers are computer-literate.

However, when it comes to you and your own children on his blog, take a stand and insist they not be included. Steal his equipment. Better yet, pelt him with tar balls off of the beach until he promises to edit out you and your family. We bloggers have an unwritten code of behavior, and in it is the understanding we don’t put OPK’s (other people’s kids) on our blog without permission.


Heather, TMH

17 Responses to “I Don’t Want To Be On A Blog. But I’ll Write To A Blog For Advice.”


Comment by Cheryl.

Hell, I’ve got a 47-year old husband who doesn’t want to be in my blog because of the permanent record it’ll establish. For heaven’s sake, just set the boundary and if he runs ramshod over them, shoot him.


Comment by Rusty Hoe.

Basically, If he wants to blog his family that’s his business. However, if he insists on including your family against your wishes, I say you have the right to insist on placing his manly wind chime in a garlic press. The MHs are right you don’t put OPKs on your blog without permission.


Comment by From Belgium.

Or… disable his computer or camera (sand and water can kill), give him food poisening or diarrhoea so as to stop him from blogging. Of course he might blog about that …


Comment by Laura.

I am taking a break from blogging right now (due to have a baby tonight) however, no matter who it is that I am going to puton my blog (other than my children) I always make sure to ask their permission. You never know when someone isn’t comfortable with it. It;s only respectful to do so.
Thanks for all the great advice you all always give.


Comment by Lara.

Oh, man, this was better than caffeine for waking me up today. Plain and simple: Anyone who doesn’t respect your right to privacy and protection of your kids is an a$$.

I spent 20 years working with victims of crime – including child sexual abuse & stalking. No way in H-E-double-hockeysticks would I put kids pictures online. And if he needs to hear horror stories or see scary stats, send him to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children or National Center for Victims of Crime websites.


Comment by Wendi.

Just make sure your entire family wears tshirts that say your BIL’s name, then underneath that “is a smelly douchebag.”

He probably won’t take many pictures of you in those.


Comment by Jen.

I have this same problem with my MOM! All of your advice is nice and quite funny but it’s not realistic. I’m not so much afraid of people knowing about me or my kids but my mom posts the worst possible pictures of people (read as ME) and tells things about us that are private (gory details of my child’s birth, etc) or at the very least my business to blog about before she does. She is like an open book and I feel that she has over stepped her bounds in making me and my family and open book in the process.

When I mention it she is VERY offended and then won’t let it go. I write this not to ask for advice…I know that as long as I let it go on it will go on. But I write it to ask those of you who are obnoxious bloggers to respect the rights of the rest of us. If you are posting things about another family, STOP. If you are blogging while something is still happening, STOP.
You know who you are so just STOP!



Comment by Plano Mom.

Might I suggest you create a blog about insensitive ass bloggers? I’m sure his employer and others who rely on his discretion would be interested to know how he doesn’t respect his family’s wishes for privacy.


Comment by dusty earth mother.

Listen, I’m the biggest “oops! you didn’t want everyone in the world to know that?” blogger there is, but even I know to stop when someone says they are uncomfortable with it.

Take him aside and have a real talk with him. “You may NOT use MY children’s photos on your blog. N.O.T.”

And then get over him doing it with his own kids. They’ll work it out in therapy later.


Comment by Ashley K..

Set the ground rules and if he doesn’t listen don’t go on trips with him anymore. He’ll get the point.


Comment by Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him.

I would respect anyone’s wishes to be excluded from my blog. Except my husband. And my mother. And the guy who annoys me at the supermarket.

Everyone else deserves their privacy. Just hold up the bird every time the camera’s eye falls on you. You won’t make final cut in the blog that way:)


Comment by MarathonMom.

Tell your BIL to blog about comparing and contrasting Google with the stone tablets. That is effing brilliant!!!! His employer will give him a raise and a promotion fo sho and then the kids won’t be all that exciting anymore.

Heather, TMH Reply:

Yes, as long as I get the royalties.


Comment by Johbird.

I’d just add that you probably shouldn’t focus on how you disagree with his putting his family online. It’s his choice, and it will just make him mad, which might make him want to spite you.


Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

I totally agree with all the above comments and particularly on Johbird’s: if he wants to blog his family and his wife agrees, this is their business.

But YOUR family is NONE of his business.

Threaten him with legal consequences, if it’s necessary. And if he gets pissed for your advice, sod him: he is the one who’s pissing you off, right?


Comment by kmdguerra.

As for your fears about predators, while there have been some cases of this happening, realize there are over 300 million people in this country and that what happens to a handful of them does not complete the entire paint by number picture. In fact, it’s not even the size of the eyeball of the character in the paint by number picture, it’s that small. And if we want to get nitpicky, the predators are generally people your children already know or have met in public, picture taking opportunities or not.

That withstanding, you are entitled to your privacy and your BIL should respect that. If he still doesn’t get it, drug him, take dirty compromising pictures of him and then tell him that he’s right…EVERYTHING should be documented and proceed to post those on your own blog, Facebook, and then send one to his boss for kicks. Of course, this would happen after you’ve talked to him (while not criticizing him for what he does with his family’s pictures) and made him see your plight. Last resort, you could try taking it up with Google and tell them that he’s posting kiddie porn. They don’t mess around with that kinda sh*t!


Comment by Lynn.

Damn right he shouldn’t blog about your family! What he says/posts about his own family is his own business, but YOUR kids are YOUR business … take a stand.

My husband doesn’t like me posting anything about him other than the fact that he’s my husband and he likes food. That’s about it, and I respect that.

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